The Book of Addison
by TheQueenofPassiveAggressiva
Summary: In a recent interview with Us Weekly, Kate Walsh answered, 'Where do you think Addison Montgomery would be today' with "I have no idea! — She could be on her third husband, she could be still with Jake. She could have, like, three more kids." This inspired me to write this story about current Addison and her four kids ;). Set Summer of 2016 after Season 12 Grey's. Please review!
1. Chapter One

**Addison**

I really didn't want to pick up and leave like this. It's just, I'm a runner. When things get bad I always run… but this time is different. It isn't just me… It's me, Henry, Parker, Peggy and Everett. I should be making better decisions now that I'm a mother, but it appears I'm just same old Addison. I picked up my whole life and hopped on a plane because things went bad… I mean, I would've driven but four fussy kids isn't that fun of a ride. At least on the short flight over, I can get Henry to read a book and the twins to play their handhelds. I can keep little Everett quiet by just bouncing him every so often. I'm hoping he'll just fall back asleep. We're at the airport now just waiting on our flight to be called. Everett is asleep in his stroller while Henry is helping the twins play their game.

I smile over at my eldest son, "Hey, little man. Can you stay here and be in charge while I walk over to the counter?"

He nods and smiles at me, "Yeah."

"Great," I smile walking just a few feet over to the man at the counter.

He smiles, "Hello, can I help you?"

"Hi, yeah, I was just wondering what time was boarding?" I ask glancing back over to the kids.

He looks down at what looks like his schedule, "I'm actually about to start boarding right now."

"Oh, wow, I have nice timing. Thanks," I smile walking away.

He calls behind me, "No, problem."

I walk back over to the kids to gather them up as they start boarding First-Class. We make our way onto the plane and I have Everett's stroller taken to be stored with my luggage. We sit across from each other; the twins occupying two seats and Henry, Everett and I occupying the other two. It's only a two and a half hour flight and the girls already found something to watch on tv. The stewardess comes by and the kids order just about everything on the menu. By the time we landed, Henry is deep into his book and the rest of them are asleep.

It's easy to wake up the twins but it wasn't easy getting off the plane without losing them, so we wait until it's mostly emptied to get off. We walk over to baggage claim and we're there for about ten minutes before I collect my suitcase, Henry's and the twins' matching pink ones. We all make our way to the pick up/drop off location where I find Meredith Grey standing outside what appears to be her SUV. I didn't realize when I spoke to Amelia earlier, that she would be the one to pick us up. I still don't know how I feel about her… But I can't hate her… I mean, the reason I did hate her is gone now… Derek's gone… I don't really want to think about that right now, so I shake it off and wave back to her once she sees us.

"Hey," I say as we approach the vehicle, "thanks so much for picking us up. I hope it wasn't too much of an inconvenience."

"No problem at all," she says helping to get the luggage into the back while I get the kids into the car, "I'm just glad you're here. Amelia's been a wreck with the whole wedding thing."

"Oh of course," I say shaking my head… I'm grateful that she has three carseats because I didn't even think to bring them with me. I can't believe I just picked up and left like that, "I'm surprised she even made it this far with her track record. She isn't really the commitment type… I mean, James proposed to her and she fled to Seattle."

Meredith laughs along as I get the twins locked in and secured. I look towards Henry, who's buckled himself into his seat. He's acts so grown and put together yet he's only five… He acts like more of an adult than me… It's kinda funny… But I guess he is the man of the house now after what's happened… I still can't talk about it let alone think about it so I try to brush the thoughts off. Glady, Meredith interrupts my thought process as I climb into the passenger side and we take off.

"So," she pauses, "how long are y'all going to be in town?"

"Oh," this catches me off-guard. Everyone thinks we're just in town for the wedding… That's what we were initially coming to Seattle for but a lot changed in this past week… "well, I'm not sure anymore… You know, after the whole Callie and Arizona thing… Callie's been calling me crying every night and sending me ten-page long emails when I'm not available to answer so… We may stay a little longer."

"Yeah," she smiles softly, "and I see you've made a huge addition to your family. I think the last time you visited it was only you and Henry, and he was a baby. They're all so beautiful."  
"Thank you," I smile proudly glancing back at the kids. Everett is still asleep, Henry's still reading and the girls on their handheld, "I'm surprised they aren't yelling at the top of their lungs by now but then I have to remember they just woke up."

"Sounds like my kids… I have three now and they're all at home jumping off the walls by now I presume," she laughs.

I smile, "Oh, I'm sure these guys will love that. Give them the chance, Parker and Peggy will trap you into a tea party where they'll force you to let them dress you and do your make up and talk your head off over a seven hour long cup of tea… when they barely know how to talk."

"Sounds like Zola," she chuckles, "I think our kids will get along just fine. How old are the girls?"

"They'll be three in November," I say already missing the two of them as babies. It was hard since there was two of them but Jake and I handled it really well. God, I miss him. I wish I could talk about it but I can't. I still can't.

She nods, "And how are those terrible twos coming along?"

"You know what? They're actually not that terrible… I expected trouble seeing that they are twins but they're honestly pretty great kids," I smile to myself. We've raised four pretty awesome kids together so far, we were just getting started… I don't understand how one week could change my whole world but it did... It really did.

Meredith chuckles, "Oh I realized that. By now, my kids would have the backseats looking a pigsty with toys, food and trash… Just after ten minutes."

"Just wait until they get used to you," I say with a giggle as we pull up into Meredith's old house.  
I thought she and Derek moved into the 'Dream house' or whatever they called it. I decide not to ask. We're not that close anyway. She helps with the luggage as I start getting the kids unbuckled. A few seconds later, Amelia bursts out of the house running towards the car.

"My babies are here!" she screams as she scoops up each one of my kids one-by-one, squeezing them until they're begging for air… not literally but might as well be. She picks up Everett last walking into the house as the rest of them follow her in, "I've missed you all so much!"

I laugh to myself as I help Meredith haul the luggage into the house. I decide to leave the luggage near the door since I have a hotel room that I'm supposed to be checking into later but I'm immediately stopped by Meredith.

"What are you doing?" she asks me.

I give a startled reply, "I was, just… we have reservations at the Four Seasons."

"Nonsense, there's plenty of room here for all of you," she says.

I shake my head, "No, it's fine. You really don't have to."

"You said you might be here awhile… I know the kids would hate it if they had to come home to a hotel room every night," she says and I guess she's right.

I shrug giving in, "Fine."

"Great," she says hauling the luggage up the stairs and I follow with my bags, "I have this bedroom for you and this one right across the hall for the kids."

"Thank you, Meredith, you really didn't have to do all of this," I say gratefully as we enter to put my things down.

She just brushes me off, "You won't be thanking me once you've met Maggie, my sister. She's so clingy and caring and always trying to help. It's annoying. And she sleeps… in the room right next to yours."

"Wait, you have another sister?" I question as we step back out into the hall.

She nods, "Yeah, shock to me too; Ellis and Richard's love child." She pauses as I gasp and she laughs as if she was waiting for my reaction, "She wouldn't be that bad if she wasn't so annoyingly caring."

"Oh, she can't be that bad," I laugh.

She smirks, "Just wait until you meet her. She's on the way home from the hospital now."

"So, she's a doctor too?" I ask as we now make our way back downstairs to the rest of the family.

She nods, "Yeah, Cardiothoracic surgeon. She's actually department head."

"Addie," I hear my name called and I turn towards the voice belonging to none other than Amelia, then she asks, "Where's Jake?"

My heart literally drops to my feet, I catch myself on the railing from almost missing a step. I knew he would come up in conversation just not this soon and I don't want to ruin her wedding with my problems so I decide to lie. I'll tell her after the wedding, "He, uh, he couldn't make it this time. You know, work… Everybody's trying to have a baby right now for some reason."

"Oh, okay," she turns back to Everett who she has in her arms. He has the biggest smile plastered on his face… one I've only seen when he's truly elated and that happens often when he's with his godmother, Amelia.

Luckily, no one asks a follow up question and I just follow Meredith into the playroom where I find the rest of the kids building Lego houses. It's an adorable sight but there sure are a lot of kids. Meredith's eldest turns around catching our gaze and smiles waving.

I wave back, "Hey Zola."

I guess my comment got the rest of the kids attention because they're all staring at me. Her son jumps up and down waving at me too. He looks just like Meredith. He runs over giving me a hug, "Oh my, you must be little Bailey." I look to Meredith, "Derek sent me pictures of him when he was little but gosh, he's gotten so big."

"Yeah, he's four now. Can you believe it? His birthday actually just passed. If y'all would've made it here just a few days earlier, you would've been invited to a dinosaur party," she giggles as her little girl wobbles over to her. I'm amazed at how much she looks like Derek.

Surprisingly, she reaches for me. I pick her up with a huge grin, "Hello, cutie. I don't think we've met before."

"That's Ellis," Meredith says and I look up to see a content smile on her face.

I smile back, "She's beautiful, Meredith."

"Thanks," she smiles softly.

It's silent for a moment until we hear keys at the door and a younger woman walks in ranting, "I make terrible choices. I leave things behind and just let the bridges burn. I did it with Ethan. I did it with Dean," she pauses as Meredith and I both walk into the living room with baby Ellis's hand attached to my hair. I'm assuming this is Meredith's sister as she continues, "Oh, my God. I did it with my entire life. One day, I chose to learn a little bit about my birth mother. Cut to, I live in her house with her daughter, and I work with the kind stranger who fathered me, and I left behind an entire life and family that no longer exists. My parents are divorced. My childhood home is sold. My mother is in Hawaii making soups now… I—I have no home. It's like I-I flew to this planet on an exploratory mission, and the earth blew up behind me and I can't go back. And now I'm here with you aliens. Except I'm the alien, and I'm all alone, and I have nothing, and no one wants me."

I clear my throat feeling like the odd one out… Luckily Meredith speaks up, "You got us. We want you."

"I can't have sex with you," she sobs and I stifle a laugh.

Meredith shakes her head agreeing, "No…"

"You're a cylon," she whimpers, "This is 'Galactica'."

"I really do like her. She makes me not the crazy sister," Amelia jokes as the woman makes her way upstairs.

Meredith jokes, "How much do you think they're paying her?"

"So…" I begin to question.

Meredith answers already knowing what I'm going to ask, "Yeah, that was Maggie."

"And she's Chief of Cardio?" I ask.

Amelia answers this time, "Yeah, we're the 'Lady Chief Trifecta'."

"You guys have a band name?" I joke as Maggie comes back down the stairs changed into something comfortable.

She finally notices me and blushes, "I'm so sorry. I didn't even see you there. I'm Maggie. You must be Addison. It's nice to finally be able to put a face to the name. You're legendary here in the halls of Grey-Sloan and, just about everywhere else."

"Thanks," I chuckle to myself, "It's nice to meet you too, Maggie."

"So, how long are you in town for?" she asks as Baby Ellis reaches for her.

I hand her over while prying her hands out of my hair. I shrug, "Oh, I don't know. A couple of weeks?"

"You don't have any patients to get back to?" Amelia asks without moving her eyes from Everett while making kissy faces at him, "I mean, you are Addison Montgomery."

"Amy…" I use her hated nickname against her.

She rolls her eyes, "Oh, stop it."

"We should definitely go out for lunch. Get some girl time before Amelia is married off and moving out of the house," Maggie hints towards Amelia.

She shrugs, "I'll just be down the street guys. You act like you won't see me every day."

"Maybe going out to eat won't be such a bad idea," Meredith concludes and I just nod.

I didn't order anything on the plane and knowing my kids, they can always eat. It takes us about thirty minutes to get into the cars and another thirty minutes to get settled into the restaurant. We decide to get it to-go so we could eat outside at the park across the street since it was a beautiful day, which is rare in Seattle, and it gives the older kids a chance to play while we played catch up.

Apparently a lot has changed in Seattle since the last time I was here… It was Mark's funeral… and Owen Hunt was Chief. Now, it's Miranda Bailey. Honestly, I'm surprised it's taken this long to name her Chief. Derek and Meredith had just gotten custody of Zola, now she's six and Derek's gone... Callie and Arizona were still a thing and Sofia was only a year old, now they're divorced and Arizona just won custody of the now six year old. Cristina was still here and working under Teddy Altman but now they're both gone and Maggie is here in their place. Meredith's new sister is a huge change already… I can't believe Richard had a child and didn't tell me. He must not have known… Oh and he's remarried now… To an Avery. And apparently, her child works at Grey-Sloan too. And now five out of nine department heads are women and Amelia keeps hinting about me staying and making it six.

The crazy thing is, I kind of am considering staying… I love L.A. I loved L.A. I loved the weather, the view, the beach, the practice, the hospital, my friends who I now consider family… I loved it. I was going to stay and raise my family there until five days ago… I kissed Jake goodbye not knowing it would be our last time… He was making a house call for one of his patients… He barely made it out of the car when he was shot down... killed... all because someone wanted to steal his car… He was gone. Just like that… I had to tell the children that their father wasn't coming home and I don't think they fully understand just yet… Getting on that plane to Seattle was our first time leaving the house since then and honestly, I don't think I can go back. I can't go back to the place I finally built a foundation, just to see it crumble beneath me. I need to be here… Familiar ground with people who know me… who will help keep me grounded when I start to lose it cause I don't think it's fully hit me yet either. Every man that I've ever loved, is dead now. All in the course of four years… What does this mean? I swear if there is a god then he hates me... I really don't understand.

When I get stuck in my depression, I remember that I have four little ones to stay strong and live for. I honestly don't think I would still be here if it weren't for my kids. Henry has been my rock; my support system since Mark passed… Maybe that's why he's such a little old man, I think to myself as I scan the playground, finding both of mine and Meredith's children playing except Henry, who's sitting on the stairs reading. I walk over to my little guy leaving Everett safe in the hands of his godmother and I sit beside him on the bench.

He looks up at me closing his book and leaning over into my side as he speaks up, "I miss Daddy."

"I miss him too," I say almost in tears as I take my little boy into my lap, "I miss him too."


	2. Chapter Two

**Henry**

I'm playing with the legos in Bailey and Zola's playroom. It's fun but I miss my old friends… I like my new ones too... Bailey is cool… he shares all his toys with me and Zola is kinda girly but that's okay because she comes up with the greatest make believe stories when we're playing. It's just… they're not Lucas and Georgia and Caroline and Rachel… We used to play with each other all the time… since like… forever and we used to hang out when I went to work with Mommy and Daddy. Now everything's different… We don't even live in the same house anymore. I heard mommy talking to her friends saying that we're leaving and probably not coming back. She told them that she'd probably have people come pack up the house and send them to us in the mail. I don't think I like this… I wanna go back home. I haven't told my mommy because she's been really sad. I think it's because of Daddy. She says that he's not coming home and that made me sad too. When I asked her where he was, she said that he was in the sky now and I really don't understand. I don't think she's telling me everything. I'm thinking about asking Auntie Melia… I remember my mommy saying that she doesn't know when to not tell the truth so maybe she'll tell me.

I get up off the floor and I walk down the hallway to the living room where Auntie Melia and Mommy's friends all are there talking and playing with the babies. Their all dressed up for my auntie's special dinner tonight. Even the babies… Baby Ellis has on a dress and my baby brother has on a suit like mine that my mommy makes me wear when we go to special places. She says it's classy or something like that. I was about to ask Auntie Melia about Daddy when I hear my mommy coming down the stairs.

"Okay, the twins are dressed for the dinner and now it's your turn Henry," she says leading my sisters down the stairs in pink dresses. It's funny cause they don't even like pink. Parker's favorite color is yellow and Peggy's favorite color is purple.

She picks me up off the floor and takes me upstairs to the room where she dresses me in a black suit with a pink tie. My mommy says this is formal/business wear. She says when I wear this kind of stuff, I look like a "little man." She calls me little man all the time though. I want to ask her about Daddy but I don't want her to get sad again so I wait to ask my auntie later. Mommy gives me my dress shoes to put on while she goes to get dressed. After I finish tying my shoes, she tells me to brush my teeth again then she combs out my curls. She says it's to make them fuller… whatever that means. When she's done, we both go back downstairs to everybody and they tell me that I look handsome. My daddy told me that that means I look nice and like a young man. It's because I have on my special suit.

I grab my _Magic Treehouse_ book before we all go outside to the cars. I see Bailey and Zola get in the car with their mommy and I tap on my mommy's leg. She looks down at me, "Yes, sweetie?"

"Can I ride with Bailey and Zola?" I ask and she looks over to their mommy. I see her nod 'yes' and I smile running over to their truck.

The twins and Everett ride with Mommy and Auntie Melia while the rest of us get into Bailey's mom's truck. I sit in back row with Bailey and Zola while they strap their baby sister into her car seat in the middle row. We start driving and I open up my book. I'm at the part when Annie and Jack go back in time to the Civil War where they have to find a special kind of writing to help Morgan the enchantress save Camelot. It's the twenty-first book in the series. I finished the other one yesterday. I wonder if Teddy, their dog that was under a spell but was really a little boy, will be in this book. I wonder has Zola read these books before since she's a whole year older than me. She'd probably know if Teddy will be in this book. She'd probably know about my daddy too.

"Hey Zola," I ask and she looks at me.

She smiles, "Yes?"

"Do you know about the sky people?" I ask and she looks at me funny. I look up to see her mommy and auntie looking at me funny from the front seat too. It makes me feel a little funny.

Zola then asks, "What do you mean?"

"Well," I shrug. I don't know if I want to ask anymore but I have to know. I want my daddy back. Maybe if I knew more about the sky people, I could find a way to get my daddy back from them. "My mommy told me that my daddy wasn't coming home because he was in the sky now."

"Have you ever had a fish?" she finally asks after a long pause.

Yeah I had a fish before but he died… I don't know what a fish has to do with sky people but I answer anyway, "Yeah, I used to have one back at my old house."

"What happened to it?" she asks me.

I look at her confused. What does this have to do with my daddy? I answer her anyway, "Um, it died…"

"So, now your fish lives in the sky… with your daddy and my daddy too," she says then she goes back to playing with her dolls.

Did she just say that my daddy lives with her daddy and my fish in the sky? My fish died… Does that mean my daddy and her daddy died too? Is that what she's saying? I don't understand. I look up at her mommy and auntie and I see them looking sadly at me through the mirror and now I feel like I want to cry. Is my daddy dead? I don't want my daddy to be dead… I have to figure out how to rescue him from the sky people. I'll ask Zola about that later… Right now, I think I'm just going to read my book because I feel too sad to talk.

 _She pulled a piece of paper from her apron pocket and handed it to Annie. Annie read the list to Jack: Be cheerful. Lessen sorrow and give hope. Be brave. Put aside your own feelings. Don't give up._ It's the last thing I get to read before we park at the church and get out of the car. I walk over to my auntie Melia's car where she, my mom and the rest of my siblings get out of the car. I reach up to my auntie wanting to be picked up. I still feel a little sad. I miss my daddy… When she picks me up, I wrap my arms around her neck and lay down on her chest.

My mommy walks over to us and brushes hair out of my face then kisses me on my head, "You alright, sweetheart?"

"Yeah," I say not moving from my auntie's chest.

We all walk into the church and there are a bunch of people waiting on us. I guess they're my auntie's friends. She introduced me to them as her godson and ring bearer. To be ring bearer means that I have the most important job at the wedding tomorrow. I have to walk down the aisle with the rings that Auntie Melia and my new uncle are going to wear on their fingers. I smile and wave then I lay back down on her chest. I just don't feel so good anymore.

Auntie Melia walks over to where all of the other kids and my siblings are then sits me down with them. She kneels down to look at me, "Hey big guy, we're about to get started, okay? Could you sit right here for a little bit for me? We're going to need you in a second."

I just nod and look back down to my feet. She gently lifts my face and looks me in the eyes, "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah," I say with a smile. She nods then kisses my head just like my mommy did earlier then walks back over to all the adults.

All of the other kids are talking but I don't join in. I can see my siblings, Zola, Bailey and Ellis but I don't know the other two. One of them has hair like my sisters but theirs is browner than hers is, and the other one of them is older and has curly hair like mine… I wish I brought my book inside… Peggy walks over and sits down beside me. She's sucking her thumb which means she's sad about something.

"What's the matter?" I ask her, she just shrugs then lays down on my lap. I wonder if she's sad about Daddy too.

"I thought this was supposed to be a dinner," the little girl beside me says.

"It's a rehearsal dinner," the older boy says, "that means that they have to rehearse for the wedding then we can have dinner."

"But I'm not even in the wedding. My mommy is," the girl responds.

The boy chuckles, "Well, you're here with your mom just like I'm here with my step-dad. I think my mom is coming to the dinner though."

"I don't think my mama is coming to the dinner though," she says.

He looks at her, "Why not?"

"Because my mommas aren't friends anymore… I think it's because Mama's upset that I live with Mommy now," she shrugs.

Before they finish, my mommy comes over to get Zola, Parker, Peggy and me for the line up. They are the flower girls and are put in line behind me, I'm in line after my mommy. After all the adults walk down the aisle, the lady who is over the wedding tells me to start walking and I try my best to walk to the beat of the song like we practiced. When I got to the top, I stand in front of this red-headed lady… I think her name is April and she's my new Uncle's best man. I don't get it cause she's a lady.

After the rehearsal, we all walk across the street to the restaurant where we're going to eat dinner. All the adults sit together and they put all of us kids at one table except the babies who get to sit in the high chair with them. I order chicken fingers and fries and so do the twins…

When the waiter walks away, the little girl with the long wavy hair looks at me and smiles, "Are you shy?"

"No," I answer shrugging.

She just nods, "Oh okay, because you're really quiet. My name is Sofia. What's yours?"

"My name is Henry," I say.

She smiles, "Did you just move here?"

"I came here with my mom," I shrug and I point over to her then I point to the twins, "and my sisters."

"That's your mom?" she asks turning back around from where I pointed and I nod, "Wow, she's my mama's best friend! And she's my one of my God-moms! She says that she delivered me when I was a baby and she helped save my mama and me's life."

"Yeah, my mommy is a baby doctor," I say proudly.

She smiles, "My mama is a bone doctor and my mommy is a baby doctor. She takes care of kids my age too. And Tuck's," she says pointing over to the same older boy she was talking to earlier then she points at the twins, "Those are your sisters?"

"Yeah," I nod.

She looks surprised, "Oh, you guys don't look a like."

"That's because they're from India and I'm mixed… We were all adopted. My mommy says that we're all different because we all bring something special to the family. That's our little brother over there next to my mom," I try to explain.

She turns back from looking at my mommy with a huge smile, "That's really cool! You really are special. I wish I had more brothers and sisters but I can just play with you guys and Zola. She's my best friend."

"Zola is my friend too!" I smile back. We have a lot in common.

We didn't get to finish our talk right away because we had to listen to a speech before we could start eating. But after, all of us kids got to talk a lot before we had to go home. Sofia told me that she'd see me tomorrow at the wedding and maybe after, she could come over to Zola's and we could all play. I really hope so. I like Sofia. She's nice and smart and pretty. I can't wait until tomorrow.

We get back into our cars and drive back to Zola's house where we all get ready for bed except the grown ups. They said the babysitter is on the way and they're going out to celebrate my auntie's wedding tomorrow.

When the sitter gets here, all of the adults leave and I grab my mom's iPad before joining Zola and Bailey in the living room. Parker, Peggy, Ellis and Everett are already asleep upstairs and I've been meaning to look up a word that I saw in my book. I didn't know what it meant. I go to Google and I type in the word: _sorrow_ and the definition I get is _a feeling of deep distress caused by loss, disappointment, or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others._ I don't really know what that means so I look at the synonyms. My mommy says that synonyms are words or phrases that mean the exact same thing as the word I'm trying to look up so when I don't understand what the word means, I can look at the synonyms. The synonyms for sorrow are sadness, unhappiness, misery, despondency, regret, depression, despair, desolation, dejection, wretchedness, gloom, dolefulness, melancholy, woe, heartache and grief. I don't know what many of these words mean but I definitely know what sadness, unhappiness and heartache are… I guess that's how I feel… sad… unhappy… I feel sorrow… My heart really is aching… I can feel it… I don't like feeling like this. It doesn't feel good.

I close the iPad and I lay my head down on the couch. Zola and Bailey are watching some cartoon but I'm not interested… I just want my daddy back. I wish he was here. I wonder if there is a way to rescue him from the sky people… I'll just ask Auntie Melia when she gets home. Whenever that will be… I grab my book from beside me and I continue reading where I left off.

I read until I wake up the next morning with the book on my lap and Bailey still asleep on the couch beside me. I don't know where Zola is. I guess she went to her room. I go upstairs to where my mommy is sleeping and I try to wake her. She smiles not fully awake yet and pulls me up onto the bed with her and holds me in her arms. For some reason this makes me sad and I start to cry… This wakes my mommy up and she sits up with me on her lap.

"See, I knew you weren't okay…" she sits me up so she can see my face, "What's the matter, baby boy?"

"I feel sorrow," I say and she smiles softly at me then chuckles a little. I frown, "It's not funny, Mommy."

"Oh, I know. I'm sorry sweetie," she pulls me close to her, "Did you just learn that word?"

"I looked it up," I say nodding against her chest, "It was in my book."

"Hum," she just nods, "Do you understand the sorrow, baby?"

"I think it's because I miss Daddy," I answer.

She nods against my head, "What you're feeling is grief… That's what happens when you lose someone, sweetie. I don't know how to actually fix it though because that's how I feel too. We'll have to learn together, right?"

I notice that there are tears in her eyes and it makes me want to cry more but she speaks up again, "I guess we just have to be brave. Stay hopeful that things will get better… that we'll feel better. We just can't give up."

"That's what my book said too," I answer with a small smile as I hold on tightly to her.

It's quiet for a moment before my aunt Melia walks into the room, "Guys! I'm getting married today!"


	3. Chapter Three

**Meredith**

"What's wrong? What's happening?" I say stepping into my bridesmaid gown, "What can I do?"

"What can you do? What can you do?" she chuckles like a maniac, "What… That… That is amazing. That is an amazing question. What can you do?"

"Amelia," I start.

She cuts me off, "Meredith, I am flipping out here. I'm wearing a wedding gown. There is a good and decent man in there who loves me and is expecting to marry me, and I can't tell if I am marrying him because I love him back or because I just ran here and picked up a scalpel and slipped into this Shepherd skin. And maybe it is right, and maybe it's not, but I don't know, and I am marrying Cristina's husband. I know what you think about that. And I don't know what I'm doing. And there is no one here with me. There is no one here to tell me to quit or get me down the aisle or j… help me. That is Derek's job, and Derek is dead. And Addison is out there handling all the last minute changes for the reception but it's not like she can help me anyway because she has a perfect life with a perfect husband and perfect kids. And all I have is Maggie, and Maggie is full of sunshine and candy and hope, and every time I try to tell her that the world is on fire, she hands me a marshmallow to roast, so that just leaves you. And you… you are rooting for the other guy. You told me to go and be with Owen, and then you turned on me, and now you are not on my side. And we both know you don't like me, but you are stuck with me. So here I am in a wedding gown on the happiest fricking day of my life in a room with no family and no help and no one on my side but you. So what can you do for me? What can you do for me, Meredith?"

 _Earlier this morning…_

"I'm getting married today!" a super elated Amelia runs through the house tripping over just about everything and banging on all the doors. I'm pretty sure she woke everybody in the house.

I sit up groggily with the same clothes I had on yesterday still on and a raging headache. I can't believe I even woke up considering how much liquor I drank last night… and here Amelia is, delighted, carefree and running through the house… I wish this day could be over already.

Once everyone was up, cleaned and dressed, we decide to go out for breakfast. I'm pretty sure I could eat just about everything on the menu but to be careful, I order anything that has to do with bread to help rid me of my hangover. I look over at Addison and she looks like she came straight out of a magazine… How could she have woke up like that? I'm pretty sure she had more to drink than I did because she kept losing the drinking game… And I know I don't look anywhere near as perfect as she does. I bet I even I look worse than I feel… I hate Addison.

"Mama," Ellis says bringing me out of my thoughts and I realize a whole conversation was going on around me.

I pick her up out of her highchair where there's literally a piece of everything she ate hanging off her dress, the highchair and all over the floor, "Yes, my baby?"

"Mama," she says as she runs her messy hands through my hair and I pout. I was going to have to wash it anyway…

The morning was going by swiftly. It wasn't until we got home from breakfast, that everything started to go downhill. It started to rain while we were out and Addison, being maid of honor, had to run over to the park where the reception was going to be held and have everything moved to another location indoors. I didn't think that could happen so last minute without already having a back-up place but I guess when you have enough money anything could happen.

I still haven't talked to her about overhearing Henry talk to Zola about his dad dying in the car yesterday but… I don't know if I'm even going to. It's not my place and she hasn't told anyone… not even Amelia so why would she want me out of all people to know? It's just… for some reason I can't get Addison out of my mind. Ugh, I just wish she would go back to L.A. already. She didn't even cross my mind for years until the other day when Amelia asked me if I could pick Addison and her family up from the airport because she had an emergency surgery. It was then, walking out of the airport still leggy and fabulous just like the first time I met her that all these thoughts started coming back…

And now she has these four amazing little kids… they're so freaking adorable and get along so well with Zola, Bailey and Ellis… And they're all pristine and educated… Little Henry loves to read… And Pa―

Before I could finish that thought, I hear Amelia yelling, "Mom. Mom! Mother! I know I was engaged before. I was there… No. I am sober."

"Because we love each other," she says after a pause. I can hear her voice is breaking, "Because we didn't see a reason to wait. Because people get hit by cars. We've been together for a year."

I walk up to the bathroom door where Maggie is standing outside and I see that Amelia's on the phone, "Yes, we broke up, and then we… So what if it has been off and on?"

"Oh, hey," I say once I reach Maggie.

She holds her finger up to her mouth, "Shh, shh. Shh."

"What?" I question.

Amelia's still talking, "I don't know, Mom…"

"Amelia's mom," Maggie finally answers, "No one in the family is coming to the wedding."

"...ex-daughter-in-law. What? …and ask her permission to live my life," she says crying, "Because I do. I'm alone. If you don't come, it is just me. Mom. Mommy, please, I am getting married."

"That's ridiculous," is all I get to say before I'm cut off by Amelia's screaming again.

"Fine. Yeah, no. Um… okay. I understand," she sighs, "Yeah, it's so good to know that all of the best people in this family are dead."

She hangs up the phone and Maggie tries to go in to make sure she's okay but she closes the door on her and locks it.

"Amelia," I call out through the closed door, "You don't have to go through this alone."

"We're here for you," Maggie chimes in. We get no answer from Amelia and Maggie turns to me, "What do we do?"

"Call Addison," I say after a short pause.

When Maggie returns from the phone call, she sits down beside me on the floor outside the bathroom hallway where I've been trying to talk Amelia out for the past ten minutes. She hasn't said a word back to me.

Maggie looks over to me, "I don't feel good about how quiet it is in there."

"She's fine. You have no idea how many people have locked themselves in that bathroom. They're always fine," I say remembering all the times where either Izzie, Cristina, George or even Alex would lock themselves in the bathroom. I still can't believe it's just me and Alex now.

Maggie shakes her head, "I am serious, Mer. I'm worried about her. This is her wedding day. It's supposed to be the happiest day of her life, the... the magic day, the love day," she says then shouts through the door, "Amelia, we're here for you, okay? As long as it takes."

"20 more minutes and I'm ripping the door off the hinges! Amelia, stuff your feelings in!" I shout in response then I look over to a stunned Maggie, "What? It's not my love day. I have things to do. Okay?"

About five minutes later, I hear footsteps belonging to none other than the redhead that I haven't been able to get out of my mind all morning. She strolls down the hallway and honestly, I just watch her long toned legs. She reaches us and asks, "Where is she?"

"Oh, thank God," Maggie says pointing to the door.

"Amelia, open the door. Amelia? It doesn't matter. If they don't want to be here, then... they shouldn't be. We don't want them here. They don't get it, and they don't have to. I do. I've only been here three days and I can clearly see how much love you two have for each other. And I'll be there. And I'm sure that Owen doesn't care if they show up. The only one he wants there is you," she says as the door cracks open and Addison steps inside, "Owen is deeply in love with you and I know you haven't been in a relationship like this before… you're usually with bad boys or guys that don't understand you but Owen is a good person and he's good for you. I haven't seen you smile like this in a long time… I'm grateful to Owen for that… And you're good for him too, Amelia. From what I've heard and witnessed is that you bring out the best in each other. If the rest of the family doesn't want to share this amazing day with you, then fuck them. Okay? Just get out there and marry Owen. He's waiting for you at the church."

It's quiet for a moment before the door opens again and both Addison and Amelia step out of the bathroom. Addison hugs Amelia one more time before she sends her on, "Okay now go get your things so we can head over to the chapel."

"You're so insightful and reliable… You just swooped in and saved the day. Thank God you were here in Seattle and not in L.A.," Maggie says as she goes to her room to, I guess, gather her things leaving me alone in the hallway with Addison.

I nervously look around for a second before speaking up, "I, uh, I have to go to the hospital and check on a few things then I'll be right there."

"Okay, I'll take the kids over," she smiles walking away in the same direction as Maggie.

Meanwhile, I grab my things and hop in my car making my way to the hospital. I don't know why she makes me so nervous. She's no longer Derek's wife… I'm not intimidated by her. I don't actually hate her… even though I'm pretty sure she hates me…

I can't help but go back to that night… eleven years ago, we threw a prom for Richard's niece… I slept with Derek although I knew he had a wife… I mean, she was there all tall, gorgeous, graceful and put-together as always, whereas you have me… And I look like, the complete opposite. I wasn't graceful… I didn't have my life together or even know who I really was… I was childish… Yet he couldn't keep his eyes off me… I knew it was wrong but I slept with him anyway and Addison found out because I lost my panties… Derek found them and put them in his coat pocket which she washed. She found them and pinned them to the news board at the hospital the next day… What makes it even worse is that she asked me a couple of days before, had I slept with him… I told her I hadn't since I found out he was married and it was true… Then I went back and screwed her over completely… She probably hasn't forgiven me for that… I wouldn't forgive me for that.

I pull up at the hospital, park and run inside. I need to make this a quick in and out so I can make it to the chapel in time. I round on my patients and I see that a couple of them are ready to be discharged. I fill out the necessary paperwork then I run upstairs to check on some labs. On my way out, my resident asks me to look at these scans for her so I step into the nearest viewing room to have a better look.

 _I wonder if Addison still remembers that? I'm sure she wouldn't just forget… You know, I'm just going to apologize. That's what I'll do._ I collect the scans off the board and find my resident to let her know of my thoughts before I head out for the church. I rush to the chapel and grab all of my things out of the car as I run inside. I'm late. I should've been here thirty minutes ago.

Walking into the chapel and into the back room, I come across Owen who's still getting into his tuxedo. I smile at him, "Hey."

He looks up from trying to get on his cufflinks, "Hey. Uh, Amelia's next door. You can go through there if you want."

"Here," I say stepping up to him and taking one of the cuff-links in my hand.

He smiles, "Thanks."

"Big day today," I say and he chuckles, "Big step."

"Mm-hmm. Really big step," he says as the thunder rumbles, "Meredith, why do you have a problem with me marrying your sister?"

"I don't, but I'm responsible. I mean, he left her to me, and she left you to me," I say as I finish buttoning the cuff-links. Okay, so maybe I am kind of iffy about he and Amelia marrying… I don't really know why… I know I said it was because she was trying to replace my husband and best friend but that was just too childish… I just… I don't know.

He sighs walking away, "I'm not a piece of property for Cristina to just hand over for safekeeping."

"I haven't told her. Does she know?" I ask him.

He shakes his head, "No."

"Don't you think you should call her and tell her before you do this?" I ask.

He scoffs, "Why would I do that?"

"She was the love of your life," I pause, "If it were me, I would've called Derek… I don't know… just to see if it came close to what we had."

"Well, I'm not you. I'm not calling her," he pauses as though he's lost in thought, "And what Amelia and I have… it's different. We both are in the same place in our careers and lives, we both want to settle down, we both want to have a bunch of little kids running around our house… I bought a freaking house… Cristina didn't want any of that. Yeah, I love her and I will always but not like I love Amelia."

"That's all I need to hear," I say looking up at him with a smile, "I really am happy for you, Owen."

I grab my things and I walk over to the other room where Amelia is standing in front of the long mirror alone. She's dressed, her make-up and hair are done but where's Addison and Maggie? I thought they both would be here with her.

"Hey. I'm here. Sorry I'm late," I say closing the door behind me, "I had two patients I had to discharge, and Owen just had cuff-link issues."

She doesn't respond. She just stares at her reflection and it makes me nervous, "Are you okay? Amelia?"

"You should probably go," she says simply.

I look at her confused then I ignore her and continue getting dressed, "Where's Maggie?"

"She's checking on the weather," she says then the thunder rumbles. She turns to me, "It's raining. Didn't you notice?"

"What's wrong? What's happening?" I say stepping into my bridesmaid gown, "What can I do?"

"What can you do? What can you do?" she chuckles like a maniac, "What... That... That is amazing. That is an amazing question. What can you do?"

"Amelia," I start.

She cuts me off, "Meredith, I am flipping out here. I'm wearing a wedding gown. There is a good and decent man in there who loves me and is expecting to marry me, and I can't tell if I am marrying because I love him back or because I just ran here and picked up a scalpel and slipped into this Shepherd skin. And maybe it is right, and maybe it's not, but I don't know, and I am marrying Cristina's husband. I know what you think about that. And I don't know what I'm doing. And there is no one here with me. There is no one here to tell me to quit or get me down the aisle or j... help me. That is Derek's job, and Derek is dead. And Addison is out there handling all the last minute changes for the reception but it's not like she can help me anyway because she has a perfect life with a perfect husband and perfect kids. And all I have is Maggie, and Maggie is full of sunshine and candy and hope, and every time I try to tell her that the world is on fire, she hands me a marshmallow to roast, so that just leaves you. And you... you are rooting for the other guy. You told me to go and be with Owen, and then you turned on me, and now you are not on my side. And we both know you don't like me, but you are stuck with me. So here I am in a wedding gown on the happiest fricking day of my life in a room with no family and no help and no one on my side but you. So what can you do for me? What can you do for me, Meredith?"

I sigh as all these thoughts start running through my head. I close my eyes. What really is my problem here? Why am I so against this? I think to myself and after a moment I finally speak up, "You're me."

"What?" she looks back at me furious.

I explain, "You're me before Derek. I can be here for you. I know how to do this. I can be a twisted sister for you. Just how do you want to play this? Do you need me to tell you you're a beautiful bride and kick your ass down that aisle? You're a beautiful bride. Turn around. I'll start kicking. Do you need me to call your mother and yell at her? I'm your girl. If you need a shoulder to cry on, I have two. If you want to freak out and call it off, if you want to run, I'll drive the getaway car. Just let me know what you need. I'm here for you. I am your family, Amelia. Today, I am your person. Just tell me what you want to do."

I wait… We just stand there looking at each other for a moment before she grabs my hand and we go running out of the room. We run all the way to the front of the chapel where I can hear the bells ringing and the thunder rumbling… We literally run into Maggie and Addison who were on the way back to the room.

Addison looks at us crazily, "What are you doing?"

"We're running," I answer simply. I don't know what else to call this.

She looks at me sideways before joining in, "Oh…"

"Where are we running?" Maggie asks as we run through the rain.

I feel like I saw Richard but we don't have time to stop, "Doesn't matter. Let's go!"

"Aah! Aah!" everyone's screaming as we run to the car getting drenched.

Maggie looks around, "Oh, God. So many people. All those people!"

"Okay, stop it," I say.

"And the food! Oh, my… All that food," Maggie exclaims.

I shake my head as we pull off, "Stop. Don't do that. The food doesn't matter. Amelia's what matters."

"Right. Okay," Maggie nods.

Addison leans forward from the backseat to look at Amelia, "What happened?"

"Nothing happened," Amelia finally speaks.

Maggie then questions, "What's wrong with Owen?"

"Nothing's wrong with Owen," she answers.

I cut in, "Well, he could use some sun."

I see Addison nod in agreeance and I smile a little to myself as Amelia proclaims, "There's nothing wrong with Owen."

"Then why are we doing this?" Addison asks.

Amelia doesn't answer… She points to this gas station off the side of the road. I pull into a parking space and we all get out following her inside. She walks over to the slushie machine and pours herself a huge cup. I grab one too as Maggie and Addison fall in line.

I see she's having a hard time getting it out the machine so I speak up, "Tap it and let it settle and then tap it some more. You get more that way."

"Why am I doing this?" Amelia turns to me, "Why did you make me do this? Why the hell would you make me run?"

"I didn't make you run. You wanted to run," I say in defense.

She shakes her head, "You dangled the carrot. You... You dangled it because you didn't want this wedding to happen, so you dangled."

"I didn't dangle anything," I say sipping my slushie, "You're not a victim here. I presented you with a menu of options. You chose to run. You wanted to run."

"You're right. You're right," she says pacing and breathing heavily, "Why am I marrying Owen? Is my family right? Is this just one more in a long line of ill-advised, impulsive decisions? I don't even know. Shouldn't I know? Shouldn't I know on my wedding day?"

"Probably," I shrug.

Maggie looks at me, "Mer."

"I mean, what if I'm just… What if Owen is my new drug and I'm just using him to ignore the fact that…" she trails off.

Addison looks at her skeptically, "That what?"

"That Mer's right, that Owen's had the love of his life and so have I, and once it's gone, everything else is just filler and you'll never, ever have that feeling again. I mean, who gets that twice?" Amelia poses.

Maggie shrugs saying mostly to herself, "Some of us would like to have it once."

"I like to think that I've had it twice… If I could find love again, you definitely can Amelia…" she pauses then sighs, "Ryan would want you to find love again… He wouldn't want you to grow old alone."

She nods… takes a breath then goes up to the counter to pay for the slushies. We all go back outside to the car and Amelia decides that we can go back to the chapel. I drive all the way there but she doesn't get out. We're just sitting outside in the car.

Maggie slurps down the rest of her drink then looks to me, "Are we going in?"

"Why are you looking at me?" I shrug… It's not my wedding.

Addison looks over at her sister, "Amelia?"

"I don't know," she looks to me, "If we don't go in, where would we go?"

"Why's everybody asking me?" I look around the car slightly annoyed. I see Addison smirk in the backseat.

Maggie sighs, "Come on, Mer."

"What do I know about getting married? And who am I to say we only get one great love in our life? Lots of people get two. Look at…" I pause thinking, "Look at… Well, I don't know. I can't think of any right now, but…"

"Richard Webber," Maggie adds for me.

I smile, "Yes! Exactly. Thank you. Richard Webber. Exactly. You see? Maybe we get two, maybe we get eleven, maybe we get thirty. Isn't that better, just to believe that?"

"Yeah," Amelia says mostly to herself.

I continue, "I mean, Owen believes it. I swear he does. And he loves you. And maybe this time is different for you. Maybe this time, you're right."

I guess my speech worked. Everyone seemed satisfied from it and Amelia nodded. She turned to me smiling for the first time today, "Okay. Let's go get married."

The rain has cleared up and we run back into the chapel then into Amelia's room where Addison has already called hair and make-up back. They take Amelia's dress to try to dry it off some while I go into the other room to let Owen know that we're here.

"Hey. Hey. We're back," I say walking into the room.

Owen nods and starts walking towards Amelia's dressing room, "Where is she?"

"No, she doesn't want to see you now," I stop him.

He looks at me startled, "What?"

"Before the ceremony…" I correct, "It's bad luck. Hurry up and get in there. I mean, she needs like ten minutes."

"Okay. All right. All right. Oh, April had the baby. It's a girl," he says.

I exclaim, "What?!"

"Yeah, Riggs just told me," he smiles as I rush him out of the door making my way back to the room.

Everyone's dressed, dried and makeup re-done. Maggie and I help get the flower girls and the ringbearer in line for the walk while Addison helps walk Amelia over. I watch her kiss her on the head before she joins me in line. She stands three inches taller than me even in heels… Well we're wearing the same heels so… Anyway, it's just that she's so close to me. My body is tingling… I don't understand why… It's not like I'm attracted to Addison… God, I hope I'm not attracted to Addison… I have always had a knack for falling for the wrong people. I just, I have to wait until it passes because I'm pretty sure she hates me… Plus she's got a lot to deal with right now… You know, the four kids and a dead husband thing.

"Wait," Addison's voice pulls me out of my thoughts, "where's Owen's best man?"

"Hospital, she had her baby. It's a girl," I say as Arizona walks up in her bridesmaids' dress.

All the woman just gush over this, "Awwwwww."

"Hey, Owen asked me to fill in for April," she says taking her new place beside Addison.

"Oh," Maggie says just realizing that the music for our walk is playing, "Is this when we go? Do we go? Did we miss it?"

"Just go whenever you want," Amelia says from the back of the line. Maggie nods then looks to Riggs as they decide to start the walk down the aisle.

I turn to Amelia jokily, "You sure you don't want to run? Now's your last chance."

"Please shut up," she rolls her eyes at me and smiles.

"You look beautiful… Congratulations," I smile before turning around and walking down the aisle with Dr. Warren.

When I get to my place at the altar, I turn around and I see Arizona and Addison walking down the aisle and for some reason, all I see is Addison. I have to say she looks breathtaking in maroon but I don't think there is a way for her not to look that way…

I really need to shake these thoughts of her because I'm almost certain she isn't thinking about me like that. For a moment though, it looked as though she caught my gaze and blushed but it could just be my eyes playing tricks on me. I watch as Addison's twins and Zola walk down the aisle throwing flowers that's when I notice Carolyn, Amelia and Derek's mom, in the front row.

When Addison reaches me, I try to ask under my breath, "Isn't that Carolyn?"

"Yeah," she nods and whispers, "I called her after I calmed Amelia down this morning. I kind of forced her to come… Had a car pick her up and a private jet bring her here. I was not about to have my baby sister upset on her wedding day."

This makes my feelings that I already have for her multiply by like a zillion… I hate that Addison is such a kind person… Why can't she just be Satan like we all thought once upon a time ago? Then I wouldn't be struggling with the fact that I actually like Addison… I think I've liked her from the moment she walked through the doors of Seattle Grace Hospital and introduced herself as 'Addison Shepherd' and I 'the intern that was screwing her husband'. She didn't take it out on me… She was kind to me… Right from the start… She even corrected this crazy patient of hers who didn't want me in her surgery because she thought I was a homewrecker. I can't believe I didn't recognize it then. I was too young and foolish… I wonder what would life be like if I actually knew my true feelings back then? Would it be any different?

The girls reach us and Addison commends them on doing such a great job as Henry finishes his walk and stands on the side with the men. I watch her give him a thumbs up and he smiles so brightly. God, I hate myself for having feelings. It's just that, Amelia was right… Addison is perfect, with her perfect family, perfect hair, perfect looks, and her freaking perfect body.

I grunt aloud, "Ugh."

"What?" Maggie whispers to me.

I shake my head. I really need to get her off my mind... I can't wait for the reception… Tequila always solves my problems.


	4. Chapter Four

**Addison**

I wake up rolling over and my bare back brushes against someone else's. I close my eyes pulling the covers over my face before I sigh whispering to myself, "Oh no, what did I do?"

I slowly pull the covers off and open my eyes to see who's in bed next to me when I hear a grunt. I think I woke him up… We both sit up and I turn around to see that not only is it not a man, it's Meredith Grey.

"Oh my god," she says covering her mouth.

I nod, "Oh my god is right."

We look at each other stunned for a moment before we burst out in laughter. When I finally catch my breath, I ask, "Do you remember anything?"

"I, uh—," she thinks to herself, "I remember the reception and you being at the bar after Amelia left with Owen for their honeymoon. I came over to get the full story about how you got Carolyn to the wedding but that's it."

"Wow, well, I don't know what to say," I shake my head.

She shrugs, "You don't have to say anything. We're just two friends who had a little too much to drink and ended up having sex."

"Yeah, nothing to stress about," I nod looking around the room, "by the looks of it, we had fun… wow, I haven't had sex with a woman since college. How'd we get into a hotel room? Where are the kids?"

We both grab our phones and Meredith speaks up first, "They're at home with Maggie."

My phones buzzes and buzzes again before I'm able to respond to the first one. It causes Meredith to look over, "Is everything okay?"

"It's Callie, I was supposed to be at her place an hour ago," I sigh getting up to get dressed.

Meredith does so too but looks over at me, "Go ahead to Callie's. I've got the kids."

"Really?" she nods, "Thanks Meredith."

After we both get dressed, I notice Meredith has gone a little quiet and it makes me nervous so I ask, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing… Well, it's something," she says then goes over to sit on the bed, "okay, well, I mean, we slept together so I guess there's no point in beating around the bush anymore. We might as well be open with each other."

"Meredith, you're freaking me out. Just say it already," I plead.

She nods then sighs running her hand through her hair, "It's just that… the other day on our way to the rehearsal dinner, Henry asked Zola about the sky people… He said you told him his dad wasn't coming home because he was in the sky now… Addison… Jake died?"

I knew this would happen sooner or later but I didn't think now and especially not with Meredith Grey. I wipe away the tears that have welled up in my eyes before they have a chance to fall. I refuse to cry now.

"I'm sorry. I can't… Meredith—" I force out.

She just nods, "I'm sorry for bringing it up… It's just… it seems as though Henry doesn't fully understand."

"I'll talk to him," I nod still wiping away unshed tears, "I, uh, I'm going to head over to Callie's now. Could you let my babies know I love them?"

"Of course… And Addison? I'm always here to talk if you need," she stands up from her spot on the bed.

I nod heading out the door and I force a smile, "Thanks, Meredith."

I basically run to my car and take off down the street… I don't know what I'm doing. My husband died and I take off, leaving our home for a place in my past… And once I get here, I screw everything up by sleeping with my dead ex-husband's wife. Am I insane? I have to be insane. I really need to get to Callie's before I actually lose my mind.

I can't believe she found out about Jake… I can't believe that I slept with her… Maybe there's some other explanation to this… I say thinking to myself as some memories of last night started to come back to me.

 _"Addison…" Meredith slurred out, "I'm so sorry for the stupid slutty prom sex. I know you probably still hate me for that. I'm sorry."_

 _"Me too," I laugh obviously drunk out of my mind, "I was starting to actually like you, well, I've always liked you… and I don't hate you… I just, I… what was I saying?"_

 _"You like me," Meredith beamed like a child and moved closer to me._

 _"Right," I say proudly, "I like you. You are what I like."_

 _"I like you too," she says hugging me then picking up the bottle in front of us, "More Tequila?"_

I shake away the memory as I pull into Callie's complex. I'm at her door and it only takes a few seconds for her to open it. She lets me inside closing it behind us before crossing her arms and saying, "You're late."

"I know, I'm sorry. I can explain," I say and she looks at me tapping her foot as if telling me to 'fess up. I swallow hard, "I, uh, I had a little too much to drink last night and I woke up in bed with Meredith Grey."

"What?! Oh my god," she says as her face drops then lights up again as she screams, "Oh my god! Addison! I thought you weren't into girls."

"I'm not. We were drunk, Callie. She doesn't even remember it," I shake my head at her as she smiles.

I watch a smirk grow upon her lips, "Do you remember any of it?"

"Eh," I shrug, "bits and pieces have started to come back to me."

"Was it good?" she grins.

I think to myself, "From what I can remember it was great but there's a bigger issue here."

"Okay, what's that?" she says sitting down next to me.

I look over to her, "She knows about Jake."

"You told her?" Callie looks shocked then looks at me with pity in her eyes, "Poor drunk Addie."

"No," I choke out trying to hold back tears as Callie holds onto me softly. I rest my head on her chest as I let my tears falls, "She overheard Henry talking to Zola about it in the car. It turns out that he doesn't really understand that—"

"That he isn't coming back," she finishes for me and I can't help but to burst into tears, "Oh, Addie…"

"I don't know how to do this, Callie," I cry out.

She shakes her head, "Neither do I. Sofia was just a baby when Mark died. Did you ask Meredith how she explained Derek's death to Zola?"

All of this talk of death makes me cry even more, "Every man that I've ever loved died… is it me?"

"No, honey, it isn't you. I know it feels as though the universe is out to get you but I swear it isn't. I just started to realize that myself," she says.

I shake my head, "No, God definitely hates me."

"God doesn't hate you, sweetie. You save babies for God's sake," she chuckles and it makes me laugh a little too.

I sit up wiping my eyes, "Thanks, Callie… I'm supposed to be comforting you."

"We've both had tragedies but that doesn't mean we can't still be each other's rock," she smiles.

I nod, "You're right."

"When am I not?" she giggles.

I shake my head looking around the room, "You don't have Sofia today?"

"Actually, she asked to go over to Meredith's house to play with her new friend, Henry. Apparently, she couldn't stop talking about him since the rehearsal dinner," she winks at me laughing then says, "so I'll get her tomorrow. It seems as though we need to make this a personal day for us anyway. We could go to the spa or shopping. I know how much you love to shop."

So that's what we do… We shop until we literally can't anymore… feet hurting, arms tired of carrying bags and just physically exhausted all together. We leave the mall and head over to the spa for mani/pedis, makeovers and hair. I'm getting mine cut a little shorter and Callie's getting highlights.

We're in the middle of our facials when Callie asks me about L.A. and if I actually liked it there. I know this isn't really what she wants to know so I sit up taking the cucumber off my eyes, "What are you getting at?"

"Oh, okay, fine, I just wanted to know what your plan was… are you going back to L.A.? Going home to Connecticut? Or staying in Seattle? You know I'd love it if you stayed in Seattle. I've missed my best friend," she confesses.

I sigh, "I don't know. L.A. doesn't feel right without Jake but I had a life there. I started my family there… but I have family here in Seattle too."

"Have you asked Henry? I realize now that before I plan to move to the other side of the country, I need to at least ask first. I didn't ask Sofia nor Arizona… I went about it all the wrong way," she sighs shaking her head.

I look over to her and I suddenly realize how much I suck, "No, I didn't ask Henry. God, I'm awful."

"You're not awful. You just panicked and left. There was a good reason behind it," she sighs, "Baby, you lost your husband."

"Please don't remind me… It's only been a week and I've screwed up so much… I haven't even planned the funeral. Angela, you know his step-daughter, is flying into L.A. this upcoming Wednesday to help plan his funeral which is supposed to be this Saturday," I sigh lying back down in my chair, "I can't do it."

"Yes, you can," she holds my hand, "and I'll be there every step of the way."

 _"We, uh," Meredith looks at me giggling as she grabs onto my side, "we need a room."_

 _"How many nights?" the man at the counter looks over us and forces a smile._

 _Meredith looks to me and I just shrug then she turns back to him, "Just one."_

 _"Okay," he says typing up some things as Meredith's hand slowly makes its way up my dress._

 _I moan then I gasp at myself shocked. I look at the man behind the counter, "Hurry."_

 _"Sorry, ma'am," he starts typing faster and then finally stands up, "How'd you like to pay for the room?"_

 _"Here," Meredith hands him her card with her free hand as the other moves down grazing my stomach down to my pantyline._

 _I try hard not to moan and I whisper out, "Meredith…"_

 _"Here you go," the man hands her back her card and the hotel key, "Room 304."_

 _"Thanks," Meredith says as I take her hand out of my dress and pull her down the hallway._

 _We stumble into the elevators and the moment the door closes, we're back at each other's mouths. We don't pull away from each other when the doors open again nor do we as we stumble down the hall to our room. She slams me against the door as she tries to get the key into the door. It opens up and we both fall onto the floor still not moving our lips from each other._

"Addison," Callie brings me out of my thoughts. They just finished with her makeup but I got done a few minutes ago so I was waiting on her in the lobby. She walks up to me, "So how do I look?"

"Flawless," I smile up at her as I stand up meeting her at her side as we walk out of the building. It's getting a little late in the evening.

She looks at the time, "Okay, so we look great. We have to at least go out to eat. I'm sure you don't want to go out for drinks after last night."

"Ha, very funny," I say sarcastically, "but you're right. I don't want anything to drink for awhile now… However, I am starving."

"Perfect, I know this amazing Italian place," she smiles as we hop into her car.

The drive to the Italian place wasn't long. We pull up outside of The Pink Door or what Callie deems 'the best place for Italian food in Seattle'. We sit outside where there's a view of the harbor. It's beautiful at sunset… The waiter comes out and I just order water.

Apparently, my mind is not here because Callie pulls me out of my thoughts, "What's up? You've been quiet."

"It's just that… the memories of last night… I'm so embarrassed… I remember telling Meredith that I liked her… at the bar… in the middle of the reception… I just pray that we weren't all over each at the bar," I say shaking my head, "but I have this god-awful feeling that we were. I'm sure all the guests saw us."

Callie just laughs, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to laugh… It's just, damn Addie. You were really getting it last night."

"I'm so ashamed," I shake my head laughing.

She clears her throat, "So you like Meredith?"

"No," I say, "well at least not like that… She thought I hated her and I told her that I didn't… That's all it meant. Nothing more."

"Obviously it was something more… you guys ended up sleeping together," she says as the waiter walks up with our drinks asking if we're ready to order.

I speak up first, "I'll take a small Insalata Misticanza and the Chicken Saltimbocca."

"Can I have the Lava Lake Lamb Ossobuco?" she says pointing to it on the menu.

He nods taking up our menus and letting us know he'd be back with our food. Callie looks to me and smirks… I already know what she's going to say…

"You know, there's no problem in liking Meredith Grey," she giggles.

I roll my eyes, "Oh shut up… You're not going to let me live this one down, are you?"

"Nope," she smiles shaking her head.

The rest of the dinner goes back pretty quickly… We mostly talked about the kids and what she should do about her ex-girlfriend, Penny. Apparently, they grew pretty close over the past year and Penny moved here to Seattle for Callie. When the time came for Callie to follow Penny, she was going to but then she lost Sofia… Then after that, things sort of started going downhill. She admitted that her resentment towards Penny was wrong but these few weeks without her, her feelings for Arizona have started to surface again and now she's conflicted. I didn't know what to tell her other than to talk to Arizona… Maybe she still has some underlying feelings too.

I'm driving back to Meredith's now but I'm dreading going. I know she just shrugged it off this morning and we agreed that it was nothing but it's been a whole day. What if she has started to remember things as well? Are things just going to be even more awkward between us now? Oh god, and I'm sure Maggie knows as well… I mean, how else would she have gotten hold of the kids… I'm just afraid that everyone knows and we won't be able to put it past us.

 _"Wow, I can't believe you actually got Carolyn on the plane," she laughs taking a sip of her drink._

 _I laugh to myself not actually believing it either. The conversation went dry after that… I try not to make it awkward by continuing to talk, "So what are you drinking?"_

 _"Tequila," she answers shrugging, "it's my go-to drink."_

 _"I've never tried it," I reply._

 _Her face drops, "What? You've never had Tequila before? Like ever?"_

 _"Nope," I say shaking my head, "my family are more of Gin type people."_

 _"Oh wow," she says laughing at me, "we're so taking your Tequila vcard tonight."_

 _"Oh what the heck… Why not?" I shrug._

 _Meredith waves the bartender down, "I've got a Tequila virgin right here so I'm going to need salt, a tray of limes, two shots of Tequila and keep them coming."_

 _"Coming right up," he says as he disappears behind the bar coming back with a tray of lime slices, a salt shaker and sitting two shot glasses down on the table before filling them up with Tequila._

 _Meredith arranges everything then she looks to me, "Okay first. You need to wet your hand."_

 _She licks her hand and after a little hesitation, I lick mine too. Then she grabs the salt pouring it into her hand, "Then you pour the salt and grab the lime with your salty hand."_

 _"Like this?" I say picking up the lime after I poured the salt._

 _She laughs a little, "You may want to hold it with your thumb and index finger or it'll be a little too hard to do it quickly."_

 _"Do what quickly?" I ask._

 _She giggles, "You'll see. Okay, now that your salt and lime are ready. Pick up your shot glass with your other hand."_

 _I do as she says and I look on waiting for the next instructions. She smirks, "Okay, so you're going to lick the salt, take the shot and then squeeze the lime into your mouth right after? Okay? Salt, shot, lime; in that order."_

 _"Salt, shot, lime, okay," I nod then I repeat it again in my head._

 _She looks at me smiling, "Okay, you ready?"_

 _"I guess it's now or never," I shrug._

 _She giggles, "Okay, let's take it together. After 3. Okay, one, two, three."_

 _"God, that burns," I exclaim after I finish my shot._

 _Meredith smirks up at me, "Exactly… Now it takes me at least seven shots to really get drunk so we can take it slow if you need, newbie."_

 _"Is that a challenge, Meredith Grey?" I smirk back._

I sigh stepping out of my car and going up to Meredith's door. After a few knocks, Maggie, with a crying Ellis on her hip, opens up the door. She forms this doofy grin on her face once she realizes it's me.

"I almost thought you left us here with the kids and wasn't ever coming back," she jokes as she closes the door behind us.

The twins run up to me in their pajamas and I take them both in a big hug, "Oh, you know I could never be away from my kids for too long… How were they?"

"They were perfect little angels… I swear, your kids are the sweetest," she beams.

I smile proudly as they take back off to the playroom, "Thanks and thank you so much for watching them."

"Oh no problem… You and Meredith really were in no-state-whatsoever to take care of kids last night," she smirks.

I shake my head embarrassed, "Just please, don't tell me we did anything inappropriate at the bar."

"My lips are sealed… Just know, I had to force you two away from the bar then Meredith got the bright idea to get a room," she looks to Ellis for a second, "so sorry about that."

"I'm just glad you got us away from doing any further damage in public," I say sighing, "Where is Meredith anyway?"

"She was called in for an emergency surgery about thirty minutes ago so you just missed her," she says walking towards the couch with Ellis, "Oh, I put Everett down about an hour ago. He's asleep upstairs in Ellis's crib."

"Thank you, Maggie, really. I appreciate everything you've done," I smile.

She doesn't take her eyes from the baby, "Really, no problem."

"Okay," I nod walking up the stairs and into Ellis's room where I find my baby sound asleep.

I kiss him on the head softly so I wouldn't wake him then I make my way down the hall to my bedroom. I change into something more comfortable and the thought of Henry not understanding the finality of Jake's death just popped into my brain. I sigh knowing that there's never going to be a good time to explain it to him so why not now.

I make my way downstairs to the playroom and I scoop up little Henry in my arms. He holds onto me tightly and I smile, "Hey, little guy. Me and you are going to talk for a second… Is that okay?"


	5. Chapter Five

**Henry**

Death is forever, Mommy says. There's no coming back from it… You can't be recused because there's nothing you can be rescued from… After you die, you can't breathe or talk or see or hear or taste or smell or feel anything ever again… I won't ever see my daddy again… but Mommy says that I will always remember him… She says that each of us, me and Parker and Peggy and Everett, all have a piece of Daddy in our hearts and that he's always with us… but he's not… He isn't here and he isn't ever going to be again and that just makes me… really mad. I don't understand how he can be here and not here at the same time… I just want my daddy.

Daddy was hurt by a bad man who wanted to take his things… he didn't have to hurt him though. I'm sure my daddy would've given him what he wanted because he's really good at sharing… He taught me and Peggy and Parker how to share so I know he has to be really good at it… well was good at it, I guess… He wasn't good enough at it since it didn't work and he died. He just left us all alone and Mommy hasn't been the same since. She's always sad and I hate him for making her sad… and me sad too…

Mommy says that if I want, I can go to the funeral… A funeral is what you have when someone dies and all of their loved ones come to celebrate their life, she said. I don't see why we're celebrating my daddy dying… That's not a good thing. I didn't really understand so she said that people do it so that can remember all the good times they had with him but I can't remember any good times… I'm too sad and mad. Why did he have to get hurt? Why couldn't he be better at sharing? Is it because I wasn't that good with sharing my G.I Joe men with my sisters? I would never let them play with him… Is this my fault? Am I gonna make my mommy die too?

I'd ask Mommy but the last time I saw her, she was crying and I don't want to make her more sad. I'd ask Bailey and Zola's aunt Maggie but she's asleep and so is everyone else. I'm supposed to be in bed too, but I can't sleep because I miss Daddy too much. I think I'm going to go downstairs for a glass of milk.

I grab one of my new books off the nightstand that my mommy gave me before heading down the steps. The name of this book is _Help Me Say Goodbye…_ Mommy says it'll help me feel better about losing Daddy but I don't think I'll ever feel better about losing Daddy.

I'm in the refrigerator when I hear the front door opening and it scares me so I hide under the counter. It's not until I hear Bailey's mom's voice that I know I'm okay.

"I know there has to be a little person in the kitchen because I can't see your head over the counter," she laughs and walks into the kitchen as I come out from under the counter. She smiles down at me and lifts me up from the floor, "Hey, Henry. What are you doing up? It's late."

"I couldn't sleep," I shrug and point to the refrigerator, "I was going to get some milk but I can't reach it."

"Here," she says grabbing the milk then sitting both me and the jug on the counter. She grabs two glasses out of the cabinet then pours the milk into them before putting the jug back in the fridge and handing me a glass. She sips from the other glass then smiles at me sitting down at the stool by the counter, "So what's up? What did you do today?"

"I played with Zola, Bailey and Sofia in the backyard. We played Dragons and Princesses. Bailey was the dragon and I was the knight who rescued the princesses from him," I say in between sipping my milk.

She smiles brightly, "Oh wow, that's neat."

"Yeah, it was a lot of fun…" I trail off then I look back over to her, "Did you have any good surgeries today?"

"Oh, wow. You've been hanging around your mom too much," she laughs and I smile a little. I think that was a good thing. She sips her milk then shrugs, "Yeah, I guess I did. It was an emergency surgery so it was fast-paced, quick and rigorous, uh, precise, careful."

"Why couldn't the doctors and surgeons save my daddy?" I ask her after a pause.

She looks at me sadly, "I don't know, kid. I'm not exactly sure how your daddy died…"

"He was shot… a bad man wanted his car and hurt him for it," I tell her.

She pouts then looks down at her feet, "Oh, well… every gunshot wound is different… I'm sure that the doctors tried their best… your daddy was probably just hurt too badly."

"Oh," I nod and then I speak up again, "when my daddy died, everything changed… We don't even live in our same house anymore… and my mommy cries all the time now… I'm scared that my mommy may die too…"

"Oh, Henry, your mom isn't going to die anytime soon," she says.

I shake my head, "That's what we thought about Daddy too… but now he died and he won't ever come back… What if that happens to my mommy too? What would happen to me, Parker, Peggy, and Everett?"

"Um," she pauses, "look, if something were to happen to your mommy too, I'm sure you'd feel more alone than you do even now but baby, you won't be alone… You're not alone. Your mom has people here which means you have people too. If something were to ever happen, you'd always have someone here for you, to love you and take care of you. Once you're family, you're always family and you'll never be alone but you have to try to not think about that. You have to stay hopeful."

"It's hard to stay hopeful when you're so sad," I reply as a tear falls into my milk. I didn't even notice I had started crying.

Bailey's mom wipes the tears off my face and scoops me up in a hug, "You'll be happy again, sweetie. It may take some time but I promise you'll be happy again. Your daddy would want you to be."

"I hate my daddy for leaving us," I say into her chest as my tears fall harder.

I think she holds me until I fall asleep because I wake up lying on top of her on the couch the next morning. I wake her up too because I smell breakfast being made and I wouldn't want her to miss it. She sits up holding her head then she sees me and smiles.

"Good morning, handsome," she moves to get off the couch, "I'm sorry. We must've fallen asleep here."

"It's okay," I shrug grabbing her hand and walking into the kitchen where I find my mommy and Bailey and Zola's aunt Maggie fixing breakfast.

My mommy sees me and smiles picking me up, "Good morning, Henry."

"Good morning Mommy," I hold onto her tightly. I don't want to ever let go.

Mommy looks at me funnily, "What's up with you, little guy?"

"He, uh, had a little trouble sleeping last night," Bailey and Zola's mom says, "I found him in the fridge when I got home from work. He's really good company."

"I saw… It was the most adorable sight seeing you two asleep on the couch this morning," their aunt Maggie says as she leaves out of the kitchen.

I wrap tighter around my mommy. If I hold onto her forever, I could never lose her right? Bailey and Zola's mom speaks up again but a little quieter, "He was afraid of losing you too, Addison."

I feel my mommy nod and walk out of the kitchen with me. I finally speak up, "If we leave, we'll miss breakfast."

"We'll be fast," she says as we head up the stairs and into the room I was supposed to be sleeping in. She picks up the other book she got me and sits me on the bed. She hands me the book then says, "Turn to page thirteen."

"I don't want to read this stupid book," I say with a pout. The name of this book is _Let's Talk About When a Parent Dies_ and I really don't want to talk about that anymore.

My mom pouts, "Henry… please… You won't believe anything unless it's in a book. I know you…"

"Fine," I say but I only do it because I don't want to see my mommy sad anymore. I turn to the page she asks and begin reading it out loud, "A Common Fear. You may be afraid that your other parent will die too. But it's very rare for children to lose both parents. In fact, it's so un, unusual that you should not try to worry about it. But remember that no matter what, there will always be other family members and friends who will make sure that you and your sisters and brothers are loved and taken care of."

I close the book then I look up at my mommy, "That's what Bailey and Zola's mommy said last night."

"Well she was right. Now that you heard it from her and read it in a book, how do you feel about it?" she asks.

I shrug, "I guess I feel a little better… Last night, I said that I hated Daddy for leaving us and now I feel really bad about it."

"Baby," she says picking me up again, "it hurts when someone you love dies. You feel angry, sad and scared all at the same time… It's okay to have these mixed feelings. It's called 'grieving.' One day, you'll wake up and realize that your grief has faded… you'll feel happy again but no matter how you feel, doesn't mean that you love your daddy any less than he loved you. And he loved you so much, Henry. I know he would've given anything to come home to us. It wasn't his fault that he died and it wasn't your fault either, okay?"

"Okay," I nod into her chest.

She nods too, "Okay. Ready to head back downstairs before our breakfast gets cold?"

"Yeah," I wipe my eyes as we head back down to the kitchen where all the adults are making plates.

Mommy sits me down at the table with Zola, Bailey, Parker and Peggy and I tell them good morning. Our mommies sit our plates down in front of us then they sit at the counter to eat their food. It's really quiet which is unusual… Usually all the grown ups are talk a lot.

Zola looks over to me and a big smile on her face, "What do you guys want to do today? I was going to ask my mom if we could go over to Sofia's!"

"Yeah! That sounds like fun," Bailey says and I notice I feel a little better by just the mentioning of her name.

I just shrug though… I have mixed feelings… My mommy says it's okay to feel this way. She says one day I'll feel better. I guess I just have to wait for that day…

After breakfast, Zola asks her mommy if we could go over to Sofia's and she said only if we help her make our lunches. We made sandwiches… Zola made a peanut butter and banana sandwich while Bailey made a turkey and cheese sandwich. I made a peanut butter and honey sandwich because that's my favorite. We also packed grapes, an apple and some crackers. Bailey let me use one of his old lunchboxes since we left mine at our old house. I don't think we're ever going back there.

When we're done, Zola Bailey and I go out to the car with their mommy. I say goodbye to my mommy, brother and sisters before I leave. Sofia only stays down the street. We park and we all race inside to the elevator. None of us knows what floor to press so we wait for their mom to catch up. She presses for the fourth floor and I try to remember that for next time. We come off the elevator when it opens on our floor and we walk down the hall until we stop in front of the door with the number '424' on it. Their mom knocks on the door and soon some comes to open the door.

When I realize who it is, I smile reaching up for her, "Auntie Callie!"

"Hi, baby!" she scoops me up into a hug before letting us inside.

I haven't see my auntie since we got here. The last time she came to visit was a long time ago too. Sofia comes around the corner with a big smile on her face and it makes me smile too.

"You guys wanna play in my room?" she asks and we all scream running with her to her room.

We're in the middle of a conversation when Bailey and Zola's mom peak in, "Hey guys, I'm about to leave so come give me a hug."

"Bye Mommy," both Zola and Bailey say when they hug their mom.

She waves as she walks away, "I'll be back later."

"Okay," Sofia says as everyone sits back down, "so what were you going to say Henry?"

"Nothing," I shake my head.

She shouts while smiling, "Come on! You know you want to say it!"

"I don't know," I shrug, "I just, I miss my daddy."

"What happened to him?" she asks.

I look down at my hands, "He died…"

"My dad died too… He was in a plane crash when I was a baby," she says nodding.

Zola speaks up, "Our daddy died too. He was in a car accident while trying to help someone. My mom says he would have survived if the doctors actually knew what they were doing. She said they made a stupid mistake."

"Your mommy told me that the doctors probably tried their best but just couldn't save my daddy because he was too hurt," I pout.

Zola speaks up again, "How'd he die?"

"He was shot," I shrug, "Somebody wanted his stuff and took it after he shot him. It makes me really sad."

"I used to be really sad too and so did my mommy but now I feel a lot better," Zola says. Maybe one day I'll feel better too but right now it doesn't seem like it.

Sofia finally speaks up again, "You know? All of us have dead daddies. We should make a club that only we know about. We can't tell anyone else unless their daddy is dead too."

"The Dead Daddies club?" Bailey asks.

Sofia nods, "Yeah and we can do cool stuff and talk about things but can't tell anybody else about them. It'll be a secret club."

"We can draw and play with action figures!" Bailey adds in.

Zola nods, "And we can have tea-parties!"

"We can! And we're going to need a code word to tell other members and we're going to need a secret headquarters," Sofia declares.

Everyone's quiet for a moment then I shout, "It can be in Zola and Bailey's playroom!"

"Yeah, and the code word can be mommy since we all have a mommy," Zola says.

Sofia smiles, "I have two mommies."

"I want two mommies too!" Bailey raises his hand.

Zola nods then looks at me, "Do you wanna share mommies? That way we can have two mommies too?"

"Yeah," I smile. I already like their mommy too, "but what if I call out 'mommy' and the wrong mommy comes?"

"It won't happen cause we call our mommy 'mama'," she say.

I just nod, "Okay."

"Okay, so who wants to be president of the club?" Sofia asks.

Zola shouts, "I think it should be Henry."

"Me? Why?" I ask.

She shrugs, "Cause you're the newest."

"Who wants to be Vice-President? And we need a Secretary and a Treasurer," Sofia announces.

Zola claps her hands, "I'm really good at math so I should be Treasurer and you're good at writing so you should be Secretary and Bailey can be Vice-President."

"Okay, I think we have everything covered. What's our first order of businesses President Henry, sir?" Sofia says and everyone looks at me.

I shrug, "How about we dress up as our favorite things then go to a fancy dinner?"

"Can there be tea?" Zola asks.

I nod, "Yeah."

"Yay," the girls shout and I smile as we all get up to get dressed.

* * *

When Momma comes to get us we're still dressed in our costumes from earlier. We played a lot of different games and even talked about our daddies some more. Zola said at her daddy's funeral, she drew a picture of them for him and gave him some flowers. It seemed like a nice idea so maybe I'll go with my mommy to Daddy's funeral to leave him something nice so he'll never forget me.

When we pull up at the house, it only takes a second for me to get out the car and inside to my mommy. I give her a big hug because I missed her and she smiles at me, "Did you have fun at Sofia's?"

"Yeah, we had a lot of fun," I say smiling back.

She picks up Everett from the high chair then looks back to me, "Oh yeah? What did you do?"

"I can't tell you. It's a secret… you have to be in the club to know," I say with a smile before turning to walk away, "Well, I gotta meet Momma in the playroom."

"Who?" she questions and I tell her to follow me.

She walks with me until I reach the playroom where Momma, Zola and Bailey are. I turn to face her, "Momma promised to help us build a fort."

"Hey, Mommy," Bailey smiles up at my mommy with a wave.

She looks over to Momma with a worried look and she looks at Zola, "Zola, what's going on?"

"Sofia has two moms and no dad. We don't have dads either but we only had one mom and we wanted to have two moms too," she says crossing her arms, "Is that wrong?"

I watch Momma look at Mommy like she's not sure and my mommy just shrugs so she does too. It's silent for a minute and nobody says anything until Mommy clears her throat, "Well, I'm going to go put Everett down to sleep then maybe I can help you guys build your fort."

"Okay," Momma says as Mommy walks away, "let's get started."

By the time were finished, we have ten chairs and fifteen blankets all up covering the whole room. Zola turned on the TV and put on _101 Dalmatians_. It's Momma and Zola's favorite movie. Mommy joins all of us in the fort with popcorn and we lay inside together until the movie's over. Both of our mommies fell asleep so we quietly tiptoe out of the room and go into the living to play the bowling game on TV.

The door unlocks soon after and Auntie Maggie lets herself into the house. She smiles at us taking us all in a huge hug, "Hi, my babies. Where are your mommies?"

"They're asleep in the playroom," Bailey says.

Auntie Maggie looks at us sideways and we laugh as she walks down the hall. Zola tries to explain, "We were watching a movie in our fort."

"Well isn't that adorable?" Auntie Maggie says peering into the playroom. She turns back to us with a smile on her face, "Okay… well, bedtime kiddos."

Today wasn't that bad of a day after all.


	6. Chapter Six

**Meredith**

 _"Addison…" I slurred out, "I'm so sorry for the stupid slutty prom sex. I know you probably still hate me for that. I'm sorry."_

 _"Me too," she laughs obviously drunk out of her mind, "I was starting to actually like you, well, I've always liked you… and I don't hate you… I just, I… what was I saying?"_

 _"You like me," I beam like a child moving closer to her._

 _"Right," she says proudly, "I like you. You are what I like."_

 _"I like you too," I say hugging her then picking up the bottle in front of us, "More Tequila?"_

Shaking the memory from my head, I realize now that I actually took advantage of Addison that night. Earlier that day at the wedding, I was struggling with denying the fact that I was attracted to her… I should've known to avoid alcohol because it only makes things worse… I got drunk, got Addison drunk and jumped at the fact that she liked me. A part of me knew it was only as a friend but a part of me was hoping that it was more… that part of me made it into more. I made the first move. I put the lime in my mouth and made her take it from me causing our lips to touch… then I kissed her. I took advantage… I knew she didn't like me like that but I just ran with it and now, now things are even more awkward between us than before. I screwed everything up like always.

I get up from my bed realizing that the house is surprisingly quiet. My kids are usually up destroying the house by now. Walking into Bailey's nearly empty room, I'm reminded that Addison and her kids left for L.A. earlier this morning. Jake's funeral is this weekend and she went to help their step-daughter plan the funeral. Callie and Sofia went with them but I'm more concerned about Amelia. When she finds out that Addison's husband died it's not going to be good… From the stories I heard about L.A. from her, she and Jake were really close. I still can't believe Addison hasn't told her yet. She's going to come home from her honeymoon to some horrible news.

My thoughts are interrupted by the sound of Bailey turning over in his bed. He lets out a long groan as one of his arms flops over the side of the bed. My little man is so not a morning person but he's been trying to keep up with Henry, Zola and Sofia every day which meant hopping out of bed at six a.m. playing. They really have to break that habit. I step out the room quietly closing the door behind me careful not to wake him. I'm going to let him get his sleep in today. It's only eight-thirty. I turn around running into my Zola-bear, literally.

She smiles up at me reaching for me to pick her up. I gladly comply. With a smile I say, "Good morning, sleepyhead. What are you doing up so early?"

"I miss Henry. We were going to play Rescue Princess today," she pouts laying her head down onto my chest.

I rub her back in soothing circles, "I'm sorry sweetie, Henry went out of town. I'm sure they'll be back soon. Then you can play all the Rescue Princesses that you want."

"But Mommy isn't here… who's going to make breakfast?" she asks me.

I laugh to myself… They really have to stop with this whole Momma and Mommy thing. It was a cute idea… I get it. Sofia has two moms and no dad so they wanted two moms since they had no dad and decided it would be easier to just share us. Maybe our kids have gotten a little too comfortable around each other… I mean, if Addison was even considering dating, I'm sure now the kids have her running towards the hills. I try not to think about it. We probably just aren't meant to be.

"Just so you know, Zola, I can cook," I say with a smirk as we head downstairs.

She shrugs, "Yeah but I like it better when Mommy cooks breakfast. You're really good at lunch and dinner though."

"Really? Okay, just for that, I'm giving you dinner for breakfast!" I joke and she laughs. I continue on, "Yup, I'm going to cook chicken and mashed potatoes and green beans…"

"Noooo," she giggles out.

I sit her down on the counter, "No? But I thought that's what you wanted!"

"No, Momma, you're really good at making pancakes! I like them crunchy," she jokes covering her face as she laughs.

I give her a 'fake' evil look, "Oh? You're trying to be funny? Okay, just for that I'm making dinner along with burnt pancakes for you. How about I put the potatoes on top?"

"Nooooo," she giggles as I pull out the ingredients for pancakes, "I was just kidding, Mama. I love your breakfast."

"Uhn hun," I say with a smirk as I grab the grits out of the cabinet and eggs out of the fridge, "so I'm assuming you're going to help me cook so I won't make the pancakes too crunchy."

"Yeah," she says as she just throws her head back in laughter… Okay, so maybe I'm not the best cook and it's sad that my six year old knows it.

By the time we're finished cooking, there's flour all over the kitchen but at least the pancakes aren't that burnt… Some of them still are brown rather than blackened. Maggie comes downstairs with Ellis on her hip and Bailey at her heels. She yawns but stops suddenly when she sees the mess in the kitchen then she looks to Ellis shaking her head.

"You see? This is why we don't let your mama cook anything. She's always making messes," Maggie says to Ellis which sends Zola into another fit of giggles.

I playfully slap Maggie on the shoulder, "You don't have to say that in front of the kids. Zola already thinks I'm incapable of making breakfast."

"Well…" Maggie hints towards me before I cut her off.

I smirk at her shaking my head, "Oh, shush up."

"I'm just saying," she says putting Ellis down into her highchair while Bailey joins Zola at the table.

We eat in a comfortable silence until both Maggie's and my pager goes off. Maggie gets to hers first. She picks it up before looking back up at me, "It's a 911 page. ER."

"Alright, kids," I say standing up from the counter, "You know the drill."

"Come on, Bailey," Zola say grabbing her brother's hand as she stands up from their table, "Let's go get dressed."

I grab Ellis and I follow the little ones up the stairs. We all go our separate ways into our rooms, quickly changing into our clothes for the day and I brush my and Ellis' teeth before getting her dressed. By the time, Maggie and I are coming out the room, Bailey and Zola are already waiting at the door for us.

"You guys are slow," Bailey says as we all head out the door together.

Maggie just smiles and I shake my head, "Did you guys brush your teeth?"

"Yup," they both nod their heads as they hop into the car. I strap Ellis in then I hop into the passenger side. Once the kids are both buckled in, we head off towards the hospital.

* * *

To outsiders, Maggie, the kids and I probably look like a lesbian couple… It doesn't help that my style of dress resembles that of a teenage boy's. I wonder how I look standing next to Addison… She's all put together and poised. Plus, she stands three inches taller than me. I'll probably have to step up the way I dress. I don't know about dresses though. I'm pretty sure I couldn't just wear a dress casually.

Walking into the hospital, I can already sense the chaos before getting through the doors. Luckily, we run into one of my interns. I wave him over, "What's going on?"

"Train crashed" he replies.

I see Maggie get pulled away before a voice calls out to me, "Dr. Grey, we have a 32 year old female with a slight concussion and impalement injuries "

"Get my kids to daycare please," I half-ask half-demand as I hand Ellis over to him along with her diaper bag. I ruffle Zola and Bailey's hair before kissing them quick on the forehead and running off in the direction of the voice.

When I get into the trauma room, Dr. Riggs already seems to have the situation under control. Other than the fact that there's a pole going through her arm, she's seems as though she'll be okay. I get in where I fit in and I start with my initial check up.

"She's going to need surgery. Someone book an OR and someone page Neuro," I say when I'm finish. The woman is going in and out of consciousness. They probably should've paged Neuro first.

I see interns and nurses scramble around the room before one of them looks over and shouts, "OR 2 is ready for us."

"Alright everyone, you heard 'em," Riggs says as they get the woman prepped and we head out towards the OR. He stops and waits for me to catch up before bumping into my shoulder, "So, who's that hot red-head you took to Owen's wedding?"

"I didn't take her to the wedding," I roll my eyes. I knew that no matter how many times I told myself that no one saw us, someone did and someone would say something. That someone: Riggs.

He smirks, "Oh? You didn't?"

"She's just a good friend of mine," I shrug.

He chuckles, "Yeah… a really good friend. So are you two exclusive or…?"

"Knock it off, Riggs," I say rolling my eyes again as we come to a stop in front of the elevator. It dings open a second later and we all fall in. Those who couldn't fit opted to take the stairs.

Nathan turns around to me and smirks opening his mouth to say something but I cut him off before he even gets a chance to speak, "Don't."

"But you do―"

"Yeah, I do know what you're going to say. Cut it out. Why can't two people go out and have a good time without everyone all up in their business?" I roll my eyes.

He laughs to himself, "Fine, fine. I'll back off… just wanted to know her name."

"Addison Montgomery," I say quietly as the elevator opens up and lets us out onto the OR floor.

Nathan stops suddenly, "Wait, the Addison Montgomery?"

I roll my eyes ignoring him as we continue down the hall and into the scrub room as the team gets the OR set up. I don't say anything else to Dr. Riggs until we're in the OR and that's only to talk about our course of action.

Ready to start, I hold out my hand, "Ten-blade."

* * *

In the Attendings' lounge after the surgery, it seems as though all the commotion of the train crash earlier has calmed down some. No one else has paged me at least… I'm not on-call so after I've changed back into my street clothes, I head out to the daycare to pick up my kids. On the way out the door, I literally run into Arizona.

She smiles up bubbly at me, "Oh, hey Dr. Grey."

"Hey," I smile back. I want to hate her I do. The whole custody battle thing left Callie in pieces but I don't know. She tried to make Arizona out to be a monster… Maybe if Callie would've gone about it in a respectful way, she would've actually won.

All she does is smirk and I know where she's going with this, "So, you and Addison really hit it off at Owen and Amelia's wedding… I didn't know you were into girls."

"I'm not… I mean, there was this one time in college but that was college," I shrug.

She gives me side-eye, "I don't know, Mer, you two seemed really into each other."

"We were drunk plus Addison Montgomery? She's so not gay," I sigh.

Arizona shakes her head, "I beg to differ. I mean, I haven't slept with her or anything but I do know that she has impeccable gaydar and the only people with really good gaydar are gays."

"Robbins…" I try to look serious but I can feel a slight smile creep onto my lips.

Arizona smiles bouncing up and down while clapping, "See, I knew you were into her. I saw you guys leave the reception together… Where'd you go?"

"We, um…" I trail off.

 _"Okay, you two, break it up," Maggie says standing over us at the bar. I didn't even see her walk over here, "There are other people than you two here and they're watching."_

 _"I don't care. Let them watch," I say shrugging her off._

 _She sighs, "Mer…"_

 _"Fine, come on Addison," I say grabbing her hand and we make our way out of the reception area._

 _Addison turns to me giggling as we step onto the elevator, "Where are we going?"_

 _"Upstairs," I say as we somehow get off on the right floor._

 _We walk down the hall to the lobby and she giggles, "Oooooh."_

 _"You're so friggin' cute when you giggle," I say to her as we approach the man at the counter._

 _She blushes then takes my face gently into her hands as she kisses me. I almost get lost in it but I remember that I had a goal. I pull apart turning around towards the check-in counter._

 _"We, uh," I look at her giggling as I latch onto her side, "we need a room."_

 _"How many nights?" the man at the counter looks over us and forces a smile._

 _I look to Addison and she just shrugs so I turn back to him, "Just one."_

 _"Okay," he says typing up some things as my hand slowly makes its way up Addison's dress._

 _She moans then she gasps before looking over at the man behind the counter, "Hurry."_

 _"Sorry, ma'am," he starts typing faster and then finally stands up, "How'd you like to pay for the room?"_

 _"Here," I hand him my card with my free hand as my other moves down, grazing her stomach, down to her pantyline._

 _She tries hard not to moan and whispers into my ear, "Meredith…"_

 _"Here you go," the man hands me back my card and the hotel key, "Room 304."_

 _"Thanks," I say taking my hand out of her dress as Addison pulls me down the hallway._

 _We stumble into the elevators and the moment the door closes, we're back at each other's mouths. We don't pull away from each other when the doors open again nor do we as we stumble down the hall to our room. I slam her against the door as I try to get the key into the lock. It opens up and we both fall onto the floor still not moving our lips from each other._

Arizona shakes her head, "Mer… So I'm just going to go out on a ladder here and say that you slept together."

"Arizona…" I sigh.

She smiles brightly, "I was right! Wow. So was it good? What did Addison say? Does she like you too?"

"She doesn't remember any of it… Plus, I don't think I should be trying to pursue her anyway," I shrug.

Arizona pouts, "Oh, yeah… I keep forgetting that Callie and Sofia didn't just go to L.A. for fun. Addison's husband died…"

"Yeah and I've probably gone and screwed more things up for her by sleeping with her," I sigh.

She shakes her head, "It takes two, Meredith."

"No, you don't understand… I got her drunk and took advantage. I've been having these weird feelings since she came back to Seattle. I was trying to drown them in Tequila but Tequila me just wanted to sleep with her even more. I got her drunk and jumped at the fact that she said she liked me even though I knew it was just as a friend. I'm a terrible person, Arizona," I say making my way back to the couch.

Arizona just looks at me stunned, "Wow, um, well…"

"Yeah, you see my problem now? And I know I've probably just made things even more confusing and complicated for her right now. I'm sure I lost my chance at even trying to have an actual relationship with her… that is if I wanted to," I finish by running my fingers through my hair; nervous habit.

Arizona sits down next to me and after a short pause she speaks up again, "Have you talked to Callie about this?"

"No," I sigh.

Arizona puts her hand on my leg trying to comfort me, "It's okay, Meredith. Everything will be fine. You should probably talk to Callie about this though… She's Addison's friend. I'm sure they've talked about it, and who knows? She could actually like you too."

"Just… not now, Arizona. The kids have already made it weird… Henry, Zola and Bailey came up with this bright idea to call me, Momma and Addison, Mommy. You wanna know why?" I ask looking up to her.

She chuckles to herself, "Why?"

"In Zola's words: 'Sofia has two moms and no dad. We don't have dads either but we only had one mom and we wanted to have two moms too. Is that so wrong?' Oh, and don't forget the sass… she crosses her arms and everything," I chuckle.

Arizona's laughing too, "I had a feeling this had something to do with Sofia."

"I'm screwed…" I trail off resting my head in my hands.

She just chuckles shaking her head, "It's probably not even as bad as you think."

"Yeah, hopefully… Anyway, I was headed to pick up my kids from daycare… I'm not really here. I was just called in for a patient," I shrug.

She nods, "Go, be with your family. I'm working a double shift… an old patient of mine came in and I want him to get the best of care."

I simply nod as I get up from the couch, "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Yeah, I'll be here," she smiles.

I smile back and I head out the door. Before grabbing the kids, I decide to head up to Maggie's office to see if she's done for the day or if we need to come up with some sort of plan. When I reach her office it's empty. I head even further up to the OR wing but I don't see her name on the board. She's probably down in the ER, I assume as for that is where I'm headed.

It's just when I don't find her there I give up on looking. Instead, I send her a text as I head downstairs to the daycare where I find Zola up playing with dolls while Bailey and Ellis are both asleep. Maggie texts me back saying she'll be home late so I continue to head out.

"Are you ready to head home, baby girl?" I ask scooping her into a big hug when I pick her up off the floor.

She nods then sleepily wipes her eyes, "Is Henry gonna be back?"

"Not yet…" I say shaking my head, "They'll be back in a couple of days."

"That's way too long," she says as I put her down on the floor.

I wake up Bailey before picking up Ellis and I wave to the nurse watching them before turning back to Zola, "I'm sorry, sweetheart. They'll be back soon."

We walk out of the hospital and out to the car in silence. The only reason for this is because they're tired. It's proven when they all fall asleep during the car-ride on the way home. When I pull into the driveway, I see Amelia's car parked out front.

"Oh crap," I say to myself. I wasn't prepared for this at all. I was hoping she'd be on her honeymoon until after the funeral was over but with my luck, she comes home while Addison is away and I'm the only one left here to explain.

I slowly wake the kids; really I'm just contemplating going inside. I knew how this will play out. We will walk in. Amelia will get all excited about seeing us and tell me all about Bali. She'll ask about Addison then I'd have to explain that Jake died. Amelia would probably be upset that I knew and she didn't, then probably like storm off to L.A. I'm really not prepared for this.

I get out the car anyway. After getting the kids out, I let us into the house. Amelia's standing there smiling in the living room as she runs up picking up the kids and hugging them.

"Auntie missed her babies so much. Oh, Meredith, Indonesia was amazing! I can't wait to tell you all about it. I should probably wait until Maggie and Addison get here though so I don't have to tell the stories a billion times. Where are they anyway?" she says walking away with Ellis in her hands and the other to littlies on her trail.

I take off my shoes by the door then I follow, "Well, Maggie is at work and well, Addison, she and the kids… um…"


	7. Chapter Seven

**Addison**

"Addison, what the fuck?" she says staring at me with bloodshot eyes, "How could you not tell me? It's bad enough that Meredith did this to me when we lost Derek then you go and do it too?"

I look at Meredith standing farther back away from us in a corner. It's as if she's trying to disappear. She looks back at me with guilty eyes. I know this isn't her fault. It's mine. I should've been the one to tell Amelia and I ran away leaving it on Meredith's shoulders. I silently tell her that I'm sorry and it's like she understood. It almost seems as though her face lit up a little.

I turn my attention back to Amelia but still, I have no words at all. I don't have anything to say but excuses. I should've told her the minute it happened. She shifts on her feet waiting on me to reply. When I don't, she starts pacing around the room. I know she hates me right now; I hate me too but I didn't wanna ruin her wedding. I mean, the wedding was almost ruined without her even knowing about Jake's death. If she knew, she would've called it off and I didn't want to be the reason for that. I couldn't ruin her happiness because I was sad. It wasn't fair.

"You were going to have the funeral without me?" Amelia stops looking at me adamantly.

I have to answer now. She deserves an answer... but just trying to speak makes the tears I didn't even know I was holding back fall, "Amelia, no. I wasn't going to have the funeral without you. I'm sorry I wasn't the one who told you. I should've called you the moment the cops pulled up outside my door, Amelia, but I couldn't. I didn't and there's nothing I can do to change that. I am hurting, but the biggest day of your life was happening. I didn't want to ruin that for you. I know it's no excuse but you were so happy. I didn't want to be the reason for your pain… Amelia, you know now; you're here and I need you but needing you requires you not hating me so please… I'm sorry."

"Addison," she says but she doesn't continue. I can see the tears swelling up in her eyes as she rushes to me taking me into her arms.

I don't know how long we stood there crying but when we do pull away I can see Meredith is in tears too. I'm so tired of crying. Usually when I'm upset, I cuddle one, most of the time all, of the kids but when Meredith and Amelia flew over to L.A. this morning she brought her three so Callie took Sofia and the rest of the gang out to some indoor inflatable playground for the day.

On that note, I excuse myself from the living room making my way out to the deck to sit on one of my beach chairs enjoying the soothing sounds of the water. I've missed this. I just, I can't stay in L.A. Jake grew up in this city. He knew everything about it and we went just about everywhere in it. Just being back in this house right now has my emotions all over the place.

I hear the screen door open and close then Meredith appears at my side with two glasses of wine. I gladly take one and she has a seat next to me. We drink in silence. I close my eyes letting the sounds of the waves overcome me. I hear the door open and close again then again about thirty seconds later. When I open my eyes to look over I see Meredith but this time with the bottle.

"Just in case you needed a refill because I know I do," she says pouring herself another glass.

I close my eyes looking away from her. I sigh before speaking up quietly, "I'm sorry."

"Huh? For what?" she sounds confused.

I sit up turning around to face her, "For putting you in… in this. I should've been the one to tell Amelia and I left that on you so I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I've done this before," she says with a shrug and a hint of a smirk on her lips.

I squint my eyes at her picking up the bottle and my empty glass, "Was that supposed to be a joke, Meredith Grey?"

"You know? Death is such a weird subject… and you'd think witnessing it everyday would sort of make you immune but it doesn't. I don't know exactly how it makes me feel… Did you know that when Izzie is uncomfortable she laughs? Like in tears, rolling on the floor laughter…" she says and this makes me smile a little then she continues, "She laughed at George's funeral… It made all of us laugh. I mean, it was bad but it also felt kind of good. I guess it sort of helped us get in tune with how we really felt. I'm sure other people just thought we were losing it."

"Wow," I say concerned but I can feel a smile creeping onto my face, "that's… wow."

"Yeah… I wonder how she is nowadays… She kind of disappeared on us," she shrugs.

I frown a little sipping my wine, "Is Amelia mad at me still?"

"I don't think so,' she shakes her head, "She just said that she was exhausted and went upstairs to take a nap."

"I remember Amelia living here… that was a blast," I joke. Meredith just looks at me concerned but I just continue speaking, "One night I came home to her and some guy in their birthday suits, drunk as I don't know what, right here on the deck."

"Oh my," she says.

I just nod, "Yeah, I mean, you wonder why we call her Hurricane Amelia. She was always wild; even as a little girl… And I know, she tries to act tough but she's as soft as it gets… The girl is so strong though… I admire that about her."

"You're the same way," Meredith says after a short silence, "I mean, you act tough but you're really not. And even when you're dying inside, on the outside you're as strong as… as Hercules… Sorry, it's all of the kids movies plus the wine."

"I understand," I laugh, "I feel like I watch more kids shows now than I did when I was actually a kid."

"Right?" she looks up at me smiling, "But I'm serious, you should also admire yourself. All of my emotions show on my face… but you… you are incredulously strong. I wish I had your strength… When Derek died, I ran away with the kids for a year without contacting anyone and on top of that had a baby. Imagine how much better that whole situation could've gone if I had your strength."

"Oh, shush. You lost your husband… You're allowed to be irrational and crazy. And at least you came back, right?" I say looking deeply into her eyes. I reach over trying to console her by squeezing her thigh, "You're entitled to go a little crazy when you lose someone you love. He was there and it was any other regular day and you kiss goodbye like you do everyday. He gets in his car driving away and you don't even know that it's the last time you'll ever see each other again. It's crazy. So yeah, you're entitled to go a little insane. So don't look back with regret… just try to consume yourself with all the positive memories."

"Thanks," she says looking down to the glass in her hand before looking back up to me.

We stare at each other for a moment not saying anything yet saying everything… I never knew how much the two of us had in common until now. I mean, aside the dead husband thing… we were both were raised by doctors, both of our families are WASPs… both of our parents were absent growing up… we were both raised by nannies, both of our mothers were cheaters… both of our fathers are drunks… we both have some kind of fatherly connection with Richard… I mean… the list could go on. The only real difference between us is that Meredith is Tequila and I'm Gin.

The sliding door whooshes open again. I look up to see a baffled Callie standing in the doorway. Callie's eyes immediately goes to my hand which I now realize is still on Meredith's thigh. I pull it back quickly looking up to her with a nervous smile.

She smirks at me, "I didn't mean to interrupt."

"You didn't," I laugh then I give her an 'evil' look.

She playfully rolls her eyes at me before looking between the both of us, "I was just letting you two know that I was back with the kids."

"Great, thanks Callie," Meredith says sipping her wine.

Callie steps further onto the porch looking to me, "When are Naomi and Sam getting here?"

"Oh, I almost forgot," I say looking down at my watch, "their flight was scheduled to touch down about thirty minutes ago. I wonder where they are."

I get up from my seat making my way back into the house when Henry walks up to me with arms stretched up and I scoop him up into my arms like always, "Hey, baby, did you have fun today at the inflatable park?"

He just nods and lays his head on my chest. I know immediately something's up. I reach the counter where my phone is and I see I have three missed calls. Two from Naomi and one from Sam. I text them apologizing for missing their calls then I turn back to the little boy in my arms, "What's wrong baby?"

"It's just… at first I was sad that we left but now that we're back at home I'm even sadder. I keep seeing Daddy and it makes me sad because I know he's not really here," he admits letting his tears fall and I just hold onto him tight wiping his eyes and mine.

It takes me a minute to get my words together before I speak up again, "I know what you mean. Every time someone comes through the door, I'm expecting to see your dad… I know it sucks but I also know that it won't always. It just takes time… Until then, we will do whatever it takes to help us feel better even if it requires moving or driving all around the world to try all the different flavors of ice cream."

"That sounds like a good idea," he says through his tears and I smile faintly.

I'd do whatever it takes to put a smile on this little boy's face. I know what losing someone you love is like. I know how it feels to have your heart ripped out of your chest. Now he feels it too but it's worse because he doesn't understand why it hurts so much. Losing a parent is hard… It took me weeks to even speak after losing Bizzy and she wasn't anywhere near as great of a parent as Jake was… and I was an adult.

I hold on tightly to the little boy in my arms as I make my way back across the room towards the porch. I stop in my tracks when I hear a car pull up out front and I make a u-turn back towards the door. Opening the door, I watch Naomi, Sam and the rest of their family pile out the truck.

"Oh my god," I say to myself when my goddaughter, her husband and child get out of the car. She's going to be twenty-four on the first and when I see her, I still imagine that little baby girl that I birthed, "Maya!"

"Aunty Addison!" she says enveloping me in a hug then kissing Henry on the forehead, "I've missed you guys so much."

"How's Columbia?" I beam proudly.

Maya smiles hard, "One more year and then maybe you'll see me at Seattle Grace."

"Oh, wow. Congrats," I smile hugging her tightly.

Naomi interrupts, "You know she only went to Columbia because you graduated from there."

"Well I can't help it if I'm the favorite mom," I joke as she hugs me.

Then she looks to Henry and pouts, "Oh, my baby boy, come here."

"Auntie Omi," he whimpers as I transfer him from me to her. He latches on to her like he wasn't even with me a few seconds ago and she sticks out her tongue at me as she walks away.

Maya's husband walks up next and we hug, "Hey, Aunt Addison."

"Dink," I say as we pull away, "how have you been?"

"I actually like to go by Fillmore now… You know, since I'm older," he laughs at himself along with me, "But I'm good. I can't believe Olivia is seven. I still remember the day she was born, thanks to you."

"I know, it's crazy how fast kids grow up," I say to him as someone else walks up to the door.

I turn around to see Sam walking up to me holding little Grayson, "Hey, Addison, it's been a long time."

"Yeah, I hate that the first time we've all been together in years had to be for a funeral," I frown then I look over to the little man on his hip, "Hey, Grayson, buddy. Gosh, you've gotten so big! How old are you now?"

"Twree!" he shouts holding up his fingers.

I smile widely, "Gosh, I remember when you were this small," I say gesturing with my fingers until I'm literally crash into with a huge hug.

I look down and I see little Olivia wrapped around my legs, "Hey, Livy!"

"Hi, Auntie Addie!" she lets go of me and runs into the house, "Where's Henry?"

"He's with your grandma!" I shout then I look over to Sam laughing.

He puts Grayson down on the ground and he takes off down the hall, "You know Naomi is going to kill you if she hears you calling her that."

"She likes to be called Gigi," a young girl's voice calls out from behind us.

I turn around in the doorway to see Betsey who is literally almost my height, "Whoa, squirt! I'm going to have to come up with a new nickname for you. When'd you get so tall?"

"Over the school year I guess," she says as she takes me into a hug.

I pull her back looking at her, "And you have breasts!"

"I'm almost fourteen," she says playfully rolling her eyes as she walks away, "Gosh, you're so embarrassing!"

"Well, I try," I smile as she makes her way into the house. That looks like it's everyone. I close the door behind us and make my way deeper into the house.

With everyone being here, I thought it would seem less foreign… less cold… less lonely. I'm not the only one who feels it. Henry feels it so I'm sure the twins and Everett feel it too. Watching everyone chat over wine and cheese in the living room is making me feel really isolated. I mean, I know it doesn't help that I'm got myself basically stuffed into a corner but I thought that having people around would make me feel better. It doesn't. I feel more alone than ever.

The doorbell rings. Cooper, Charlotte, Mason and the triplets walk in. I wonder who answered the door… I wonder who invited them over. They probably heard that Naomi and Sam were in town and invited themselves over. If they are here then that means Violet isn't far behind.

It's confirmed when about ten minutes later, the doorbell rings again this time letting in Violet and Lucas. I know Henry will be happy to see one of his favorite friends. They seem to just slip right into the crowd of people in my house. I don't even think anyone realizes that I've slipped away. They all seem to be enjoying themselves… I'm glad they're all happy meanwhile I'm in misery. At least the kids seem to be happier than they were when we arrived a few days ago.

They were happy to see their big sister but they weren't happen as to why they were seeing her. It was a sad moment really… Angela was halfway across the world studying abroad when I called her to tell her about her father. She finished up her work and took an twenty-one hour flight from South Africa to get here Wednesday morning to help plan the funeral.

She's staying in a hotel until the funeral tomorrow. Staying here at the house was too much for her… and she didn't live here nor did she grow up here so I know it's probably a million times harder for the kids right now. Gosh, I'd kill to be young enough to not understand death at this moment. I envy Everett and the twins right now. Being old enough to know something's missing but still young enough to not fully understand the depths of it…

"Addison," someone whispers and I look over to see Meredith Grey walking up to me with two glasses of wine. She passes one over to me and then just stands here.

I sip on my glass then I eye Meredith, "Why are you whispering?"

"You're hiding in the corner…"

"No, I'm not," I say siping from my glass then I sigh, "Okay, so yeah… I'm hiding."

"You feel even more alone than you felt before everyone got here?" she asks. I look at her surprised then my face drops when I remember why she would know this. She just nods, "Yeah, I thought having friends around would help too… They do; just not at first. Right now they're annoying… with their annoyingly happy faces and lives and kids and you wanna just smack them because although they're trying to help they really don't know how to help… They're just making things worse."

"No one but you even noticed that I wasn't really here… I mean, I can't really blame them for not understanding how I'm feeling… I just, I don't know," I shrug after looking around at all the people then back to her.

She nods then scoops out the living room. I watch as her eyes rest on the bottle of wine in the kitchen. She starts to walk away, "Come sit with me on the porch… I'll refill your glass."

Watching her walk away, I realized I rather have a drink with her than hide out in a corner all night. I slip away and out to the porch where Meredith already claimed a chair. I sit down next to her holding up my empty glass. She refills it and I sip it smiling, "You've been really good to me, Meredith Grey. Thank you."


	8. Chapter Eight

**Henry**

 _"Daddy? Is that you?" I reach out in the darkness. I hear screams coming from all directions but I know I heard my Daddy's voice out there._

 _I cautiously take a step forward into the unknown. That's when I hear him again, "Henry!"_

 _"Daddy!" I call out running towards the sound of his voice._

 _It feels like there's no end… I just keep running through the darkness listening out for his voice but I don't hear him anymore. I stop in my tracks hoping that it was just the sound of my footsteps overpowering the sound of his voice._

 _It's quiet now and I still don't hear him… I call out again, "Daddy?"_

 _I start to hear a low growl… It sounds like it's getting louder… maybe even closer. I start taking a few steps back in the other direction before I realize that I have no idea where I am. The growling is getting louder and louder with every step I take._

 _That's when I hear him again, "Run, Henry!"_

 _I take off running with no direction in sight. It doesn't seem to help. It sounds like the growling is only getting closer. I have to run faster… I scream out in fear, "Daddy!"_

 _"Henry! Henry…"_

"Henry! Henry," a voice calls out while I'm being shook awake. I open my eyes to Sofia and Zola staring down at me. I'm scared at first but then I smile after realizing it was them.

I sit up looking around the room and I see it's mostly empty, "Where's everybody else?"

"Everyone's downstairs," Zola says.

Sofia nods, "Um hum, my mama's cooking breakfast."

"Oh," I say with a yawn. I stretch then I get up from the bed following them downstairs and outside to the back where all of my friends are playing.

Last night, I had friends from two different states all in my house. It was so cool cause I really missed them. I asked Mommy and she said they could all stay the night so we had a sleepover. We stayed up late, watched movies and inducted my friend Lucas into the Dead Dad's Club. His daddy died a long time ago from a heart attack when he fell off a cliff… The doctors weren't able to save his daddy either… Why even have doctors if they're just going to let all of our daddies die? I don't understand.

Today is not going to be a good day. I just woke up and although the sun is shining brightly in the sky, I can tell already that something is off about today.

Today is my daddy's funeral.

"Henry!" I hear a voice call out. I turn around to see one of Auntie Lottie's daughters… There's three of them and they all have the same face! My mommy says that they're triplets which are like my twin sisters but instead there's three of them instead of two. Sometimes, when I hang around the triplets long enough, I can tell them apart but it's been awhile since we last saw each other.

I smile and wave back, "Hi, um, Georgia?"

"Nooo," she giggles as I walk up closer to her.

She smiles up at me, "You get one more guess!"

"Uh," I think. She's either Caroline or Rachel. It can't be this hard… "you're Rachel?"

"No, silly," she laughs again.

I smile slightly embarrassed. I should know this. Caroline is wearing blue… I won't forget again, "Caroline."

"Henry," she smiles, "do you wanna play catch with me? Rachel and Georgia is playing with Lucas and your new brother, Bailey."

"Who told you Bailey was my brother?" I ask as I extend my arms open.

She throws the ball to me, "Zola told me while we were playing dolls last night. She said that you guys are sharing moms. That would make you guys brothers and sisters, right?"

"Oh, I guess so," I smile slightly while catching the ball.

Grayson, my Auntie Omi's son, walks up to us, "Could I play catch with you guys?"

"Yeah, sure," I say while nodding and tossing the ball to him.

He throws the ball to Caroline and she throws it back it me. We continue like this for awhile until I hear my name being called from the inside. On my walk back inside, I pass Lucas, Bailey, Georgia and Rachel racing across the sand. I see Mason and Betsey playing in the water and Sofia, Zola and Olivia are building a sandcastle. I want to have fun too but I'm too sad. I miss my daddy.

I walk inside and I see Parker and Peggy on the couch watching TV and all the adults are in the kitchen. Auntie Melia comes up to me and scoops me up from the floor, "Hey, little guy. Your mommy says it's time to start getting ready."

"Okay," I say laying my head down on her chest.

She lifts my chin up so she can look me in the eyes, "What's wrong, baby boy?"

"I had a bad dream," I shrug looking down to the floor.

She carries me up the stairs, "What was your dream about?"

"Daddy was in it. He was in a really dark place and I could hear him but I couldn't see him. I tried to get to him and then a monster started chasing me," I sigh.

Auntie Melia walks into my old room and sits me down on the bed. The bed is the only thing left of mine here so it doesn't really feel like my room anymore. Mommy packed up all of our things during the move.

"My dad died too… Actually, I was your age. I was five and I saw my dad get shot because some really bad guys wanted his stuff. Does that story sound familiar?" she asks me.

I nod, "Yeah… My daddy was shot because some bad guys wanted his stuff too…"

"Yeah, well," she says as she opens my suitcase taking out one of my special suits, "Sweetie, I wish I could tell you that the pain will go away… Still to this day, it hurts… As time goes by, yeah, you'll start to feel a little better… You'll have less nightmares… You won't be sad everyday… You'll learn how to carry that pain and use it for good. For instance, I became a doctor so I can save people and honor my dad's death."

"But the doctors… they didn't save my daddy… They didn't save Lucas's or Sofia's or Zola's either…" I pout.

She bends down so we are at eye level, "Then you grow up and be a better doctor so you can save someone else from feeling the way you and I do now."

"Okay," I nod as she goes into the ensuite bathroom and starts my bath water, "Auntie Melia?"

"Yes, baby?" she calls out from the bathroom.

I stand up and walk towards her, "What's the funeral going to be like?"

"Oh, um," she says kneeling down in front of me, "I'm not going to lie to you…"

"Okay," I say knowing that she wouldn't. That's why I ask her things… Mommy says she has no filter so she says whatever is on her mind. She says at least that makes her honest.

She runs her hands through her hair and sighs, just like my mommy does, "Well, Henry… It's going to be a little scary at first. It'll be a bunch of people that you don't know and they'll all be crying. You may even hear some laughter that turns into crying… It's just going to be a lot of crying. In the beginning, they're going to bring your dad inside in his casket… Do you know what that is?"

"I read about it in a book," I shrug.

She nods, "Well, yeah… they're going to place him in the front of the church and I know it's going to be extremely weird for you… Try not to freak out, okay?"

"Okay," I say but I'm already freaking out.

She continues, "People will be getting up and making speeches about how great your dad is and it may make people cry even more. In the end, they're going to carry him out to the cemetery and that's when the burial service starts. That's when they're going to put your dad into the ground and it's going to hurt like crazy because that's when you realize that you'll never actually see him again."

"Auntie…" I call out to her as tears well up in my eyes. She picks me up and I wrap my arms around her neck laying on her shoulder.

She rubs circles on my back as she stands up from the floor with me in her arms, "I'm so sorry, little guy. I'm so sorry. It isn't fair that you have to go through something like this so young. You still need your daddy and it doesn't matter who comes into your life now. They'll never replace your dad."

We walk into the bathroom and she turns off the bath water. I guess it's time for me to get in. She puts me down on the floor and I begin to undress. I step into the tub and I emerge myself within the warm water. I frown but I turn to Auntie Melia curiously and ask, "What happens after the burial service?"

"After that," she says picking up my washcloth and handing to me while she grabs the shampoo, "everyone goes back to the church to eat. Even after eating at the church, everyone will probably come back to your house and eat and drink because that's how a lot of people deal with grief."

"Oh… and that's it?" I say as I start washing my arms and legs.

Auntie Melia rubs the shampoo into my hair then she nods, "Yeah, baby. That's about it."

"Thanks for telling me," I say as I go back to washing.

When were all finished, Auntie Melia gives me a towel to dry off then she helps me get dressed. I look at myself in the mirror. Auntie says I look like a handsome little man. Mommy always calls me her little man… but right now I don't feel like it. I feel… I feel sad because I'm never going to see my daddy again.

"Are you ready?" Auntie Melia asks me as she reaches out her hand to me. I take it in mine and I let her lead me down the stairs.

When I get downstairs, I notice all the adults are wearing black. I look up at Auntie and I notice she's wearing all black too. I don't see my mommy anywhere so I stretch up towards my auntie. She lifts me up into her arms and I lay my head on her chest. I whisper into her ear, "Why is everybody wearing black?"

"It's just something people do when they're grieving," she says rubbing circles on my back.

The front door opens and I see my sister, Angela. I don't see her often because she travels a lot but she always brings us back gifts from all the countries she visits. I can see on her face that she isn't here today to bring presents. She's here because our daddy died… She's sad and I'm sad too. I reach out for her and she takes me in her arms. She keeps whispering in my ear that everything will be okay. It doesn't feel like it though.

I see my mom come down the stairs wearing black as well. The twins are walking behind her but they have on white dresses… My mommy doesn't stop and say anything to anybody. She just walks out the front door and everyone follows. When we get outside, I see two black limos and two policemen on motorcycles. My mom, Auntie Melia, Angela, the twins, Everett and I get into one. I watch as everyone else gets into their own cars then we take off down the street.

It's silent and Mommy stares out the window the entire ride to the church. Auntie Melia held her hand the whole way but I don't even know if she noticed. When we got out of the limo, there are even more people here than there was at our house these past couple of days. My daddy was a doctor so a lot of his patients came. It kind of made me feel a little better knowing how many people cared about my dad… It also made me kind of even more sad knowing that I couldn't tell my daddy how proud of him I was.

It's super quiet when we walk into the church. We sit in the front row and it scares me a little knowing my daddy is in the casket right in front of us. The cover is closed but still I know he's right there yet he isn't at all. I'm glad Auntie Melia told me what it was going to be like before we came. It made the ceremony a little easier to get through.

I'm not really sure what happened next because I was crying the whole time. In the end, we walked back to the limo and we rode in silence again to the cemetery. Not everyone from earlier came to the burial service but there was still A LOT of people. Mommy, Angela, the twins and I all put white roses on my daddy's casket and I cried even harder when they lowered him into the ground because I knew this would be the last time I'd be this close to him. At the end, we all used a special shovel and one at a time, we got some dirt and threw it unto the casket. By then, I was all out of tears and I felt kind of sick.

Auntie Melia carried me back to the limo and once again, we rode in silence back to the church. This time we went downstairs to the kitchen area and there was a huge buffet. I didn't feel like eating but Auntie said I had to if I wanted to feel better.

At least it's not quiet anymore… Everyone's eating and talking… some people are laughing, some are crying but at least they're not silent. I haven't heard my mommy speak since yesterday… She made a plate but she isn't eating. She's just swishing it around on her plate. Why do I have to eat but she doesn't?

I can tell she doesn't want to be here just as much as I don't. I pull on her dress to get her attention then I whisper in her ear asking if we can leave. She just nods and we get up walking outside to the parking lot. Everyone's inside now so it's quiet outside. I could tell my mommy needed to get away from everyone. She didn't look like herself.

We don't go back to the house immediately but when we do, a bunch of people come over with a whole bunch of food. I wouldn't understand because we just ate. Luckily, Auntie Melia explained to me that people eat a lot when they're sad. My mommy doesn't eat though. As soon as we got home, she changed clothes and threw the dress she was wearing into the trash. I want to do the same but I don't know why. I just feel like I should. Maybe my mommy seeing me in this after today would make her too sad. I run up to my room quickly and I try changing out of my suit but there's too many pieces. I just give up and I lay down on my bed while tears start to form in my eyes again.

I thought I was done crying. I'm crying so hard I don't even hear my door open. I hear my mommy's voice, "Oh, Henry."

"Mommy," I cry. She helps me get out of my suit and then lays down with me on the bed.

She strokes my hair until I fall asleep. She whispers, "I love you Henry."


	9. Chapter Nine

**Meredith**

No one has seen or heard from Addison and her kids since the funeral… That night, the kids and I went up to say goodbye to them before we got on the plane back to Seattle but Addison didn't say a word. Amelia stayed another night with them but then she returned without them the next day. I was told that Addison wanted a few days alone with the kids… that was exactly five weeks ago.

I mark my calendar for today, July 9th before peering back to a sleeping Zola in my bed. She's been sleeping with me since we came back from L.A. and she asks about Addison and Henry everyday. I don't know what to tell her… Honesty, I'm afraid that was the last time we would see them. I know what a wreck I was after Derek's death… and I disappeared for a year then had a baby… There's no telling what Addison is doing right now. I should just stop thinking about her… I'm almost positive she's not coming back to Seattle so I might as move on and start getting ready for work. I'm hoping today will be slow because I'm not in the mood to deal with the craziness of the hospital right now.

I step out of the shower feeling a little refreshed but not enough to be in a better mood… Lucky me, a crying Ellis doesn't give me the chance to be grumpy. I use all the extra time I have this morning to get the Ellis ready for daycare and Zola and Bailey ready for camp. I registered them at the same one Sofia goes too when we got home from Los Angeles. I thought maybe Addison would be back and we'd have the kids all there together but obviously that didn't happen…

On my way downstairs with the kids, I can already smell the bacon cooking in the stove. Thank God for Maggie because I don't think I could raise three kids on my own… I get the kids seated at the table before fixing their plates and Ellis a bottle. We all sit down to eat as a family and I'm reminded of just how much I love sitting around and eating with my kids. Suddenly, I feel so much better about today.

* * *

We pull up outside of the summer camp and I get out to walk Zola and Bailey in while Maggie waits in the car with Ellis. On our way in, we just happen to run into Callie and Sofia.

"Zola!" my little girl whips her head towards the sound of her best friend's voice.

"Sofia!" she squeals running up to her and taking her in a hug.

Callie and I look up from the girls at the same time. We lock eyes and I wave. She waves back and they wait for Bailey and I to catch up to them before we start walking again.

"Good morning," I say shifting my weight.

Callie looks at me nervously, "What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing," I look down at the floor feeling insecure, "I was just wondering if you'd heard from Addison."

I can tell by the look on her face that she hasn't… She just shakes her head sadly and I nod as Zola wraps her arms tightly around my legs.

"See you later, Mama," Zola says before running off towards the rest of the kids. Bailey gives me a hug then waves running off behind his sister.

"Veo mas tarde, Mamá," Sofia says running off a second behind Zola.

Callie turns towards me with a smirk on her face… I can tell this won't be good. I turn around walking back out of the building and Callie's right beside me with that same smirk on her face.

"Spit it out already," I say finally getting annoyed.

She just shrugs and smiles, "You're really into Addison aren't you?"

"What?"

"Oh, come on. She's my best friend so let's not pretend that I don't pay attention to what's going on with her," she says stopping and crossing her arms, "I've seen the way you watch her… you practically drool."

"You're crazy," I say with a laugh… I'll just laugh it off and she'll stop, "I don't even like girls. I'm straight."

"You're Meredith," she says with a smirk.

I turn around to her with a look of annoyance, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"The only preference you have is Tequila…"

I roll my eyes and I turn back around trying to hide my blush as we head out of the building. I walk up to the truck and Maggie rolls down the window to wave at Callie. She waves back then looks at me grinning.

"See, you didn't deny it," she whispers and my cheeks only get redder. She turns back to Maggie as we both get into our cars, "See you guys at the hospital!"

* * *

Maggie, Callie, Ellis and I walk into the hospital together. We were making our way over to daycare when Maggie got paged away. Dropping off Ellis was surprisingly easy today, the hardest part was listening to Callie rub in my face how interested I am in the infamous redhead ㅡyeah, I decided to no longer speak her name. Thankfully, we're interrupted by our pagers.

"Multiple MVCs coming into the E.R.," Callie says looking up from her pager.

A second later, Arizona walks up to us, "There's a seven-car pile-up in the pit. Someone ran into a funeral procession just before it reached the cemetery. A funeral procession! Limos hitting limos hitting limos. And then all the limos smashed into the hearse. Doors cracked open, casket went airborne. A flying corpse. Alright, this… this is all one family."

With that news, we all run down to the ER. There's about a hundred people in here and luckily, most of their wounds are surface. I make my way over to the ambulance bay where Maggie and Amelia are walking in with their own patients.

"I can't…" the patient says gasping, "I can't get air."

"I know, but you have to put the oxygen mask on so it will actually help," Maggie explains.

The woman is clearly in shock and isn't listening, "Where's my… Where's my brother? Where's Julian?"

"Um, I don't know, but I can find out for you," Maggie answers calmly.

The guy, I'm assuming is Julian, says, "I'm right here, Morgan, just like I was two minutes ago."

"Follow the light," Amelia instructs him, "Again."

"Can you give her something that'll calm her down?" Julian tries to ask Maggie but Amelia pulls him away.

She continues to exam him, "Sir, I really need you to look this way."

"My sister gets panic attacks," he explains, "It's not even her first one today."

"Well, I'd like to rule out any injury to her heart and lungs, but thank you for the heads-up," Maggie replies.

Morgan speaks up again, "It was just out of nowhere."

"We were almost to the cemetery when this jerk just came speeding out of nowhere," the brother jumps in, "The car just plowed into us!"

"And there was like a chain reaction like dominoes."

"Was it a drunk driver, or…?" I finally speak up.

Julian shrugs, "I don't know. When I figure it out, I will sue his ass. It's what Dad would want."

"Julian, that's the last thing Dad would want!"

"This funeral wasn't cheap. I ordered orchids for the grave site."

"Okay, tell me if this feels dull or sharp," Amelia says getting Julian's attention again.

Dr. Edwards walks up to Amelia putting x-rays up on the board in the hallway we were walking through, "Films are back, Dr. Shepherd. And your scans are up."

"Thanks," Amelia says pausing to look at the scans.

Julian looks on then asks, "Is my arm broken? It's broken, isn't it"

"In two places," Amelia answers simply.

Julian lets out a moan of frustration, "Ohh! I'm making a list of everyone in the family's injuries. We're not paying for any of this!"

I walk back towards the nurses' station to see if anyone could use my help when an older looking lady dressed in all black walks up to me. She must have been apart of the funeral. Forcing a smile she finally speaks, "Excuse me. I need to find out where Barb is. Do you know if she's okay?"

"Well, actually…" I start.

She keeps talking anyway, "Barb is my sister. She's dressed in black. Oh, that's no help. She's a little shorter than I am. Blonde hair. Barbara Davis."

"Okay, um…" I say as I look through my tablet to find her chart, "She is in a procedure room. She's getting a few stitches on her forearm. Looks fine otherwise."

"Oh, thank goodness. Thank you. And those two over there, they're my children," she says pointing towards Amelia and Maggie's patients, "Are they okay? Morgan and Julian Fisher."

"Morgan…" I say looking for her chart, "they are making sure that her heart and lungs are okay. Julian has a broken arm and a cut on his forehead, but someone is making sure he's okay, so…"

"And Carl ruptured his spleen. Gene broke some ribs. Michelle mostly has broken glass in her hair. Lynne has whiplash. Only Pete came through unscathed," she pauses, "Pete is… Pete is my husband. He's dead. This was Pete's funeral."

"Oh, God, ma'am."

"Georgia."

"Georgia, I'm so sorry. You shouldn't…" I pause trying to find the right words, "Someone should be taking care of you. We have a waiting area…"

"You know, right now, I really feel like I need to be doing something," she starts to pace but stops to look at me, "But if you could find out where they took him…"

"You got it, yeah," I nod running off.

I ask the nurse but she doesn't know so I go around asking everyone. I'm coming up dry when I spot Owen in a patient room. Maybe he'll know where they put the dead guy. I walk into the room and I see that he's patient and I immediately think of the woman who shall not be named. Arizona is in here too and they both look up to me.

"Hey, uh, do we know where the deceased guy was put?"

"Um… What?" Owen says looking at my confused.

The woman in the patient bed starts to sob, "Who else is hurt? Is everyone hurt? Did I kill anyone?"

"Oh, you were the driver?," I say regretting what I said.

She sobs, "I was late for the funeral. I came around the corner, and there they were, the whole procession. I ran right into them. It was me."

"Kara, it was an accident. I'm sure they'll understand," Owen tries to console her.

I feel like I've only made things worse so I excuse myself from the room. I'm walking back down to Georgia to tell her the bad news when I run into Dr. Edwards again. Luckily, she knows where the dead guy is and I send her on her way to Georgia.

* * *

It's lunch time and as I walk through the cafeteria with my tray, I pass by Arizona and Callie sitting together. I'm surprised. I thought they hated each other… this is the first time I've actually seen them together when they weren't with Sofia or bringing Sofia over to each other's houses.

Sitting down at our table with Amelia, Alex and Maggie, I can't help but state the elephant in the room, "So Callie and Arizona are talking again?"

"They've been at it for awhile…" Alex says taking a huge bite from his burger, "I've seen giggles."

"Whoa," I respond as I start eating my food.

Amelia, of course, talks with her mouth full, "I don't see what's the big deal. They have a child together."

"Yeah, but Callie basically called Arizona a workaholic, alcoholic whore…" Maggie explains.

I shake my head trying to hold back a laugh, "She regrets letting her lawyer say those things… Plus Arizona forgives her. That's all that matters."

"Yeah, that's because Arizona won," Alex chuckles.

I shake my head at him and I continue to eat. We go through conversations about our residents, our patients all the way up to what we're planning on eating for dinner before we all get up to dispose of our trays. By the time we head out of the cafeteria, Amelia, Alex, Maggie, Callie, Arizona and I are walking out together. We all go on our separate ways, I heading to the Chief's office... That is until I see her…

"Addison…" I accidentally let her name slip from my lips.

I try my hardest not to eavesdrop but I can't help myself. I've gotten pretty good at reading lips and reading people… and by the look on Bailey's face and the way they shook hands just then seems as though Addison is staying in Seattle. I feel a smile creeping onto my lips but as soon as those doors went flying open, I quickly try to make it seem as though I wasn't listening by continuing my walk across the catwalk.

Addison walks up to me with a slight smile on her face that turns into a smirk, "You wouldn't be a very good spy, y'know."

"Huh?"

"I know you were eavesdropping…" she says giving me that look of hers; the one I couldn't resist from the moment she introduced herself to me almost twelve years ago…

 _Derek looks out towards the lobby doors before turning back to me, "Meredith, I am so sorry."_

 _I look past him towards the doors confused until I see the most beautiful woman. She has long, lean legs, luscious, full, shiny red hair, looks to die for and she was walking right up to us. It took a moment for me to register that Derek knew her… Even after she spoke._

 _"Addison," he pauses, "What are you doing here"_

 _"Well you'd know if you'd bothered to return any one of my phone calls," she says with a smirk._

 _I stand here confused looking from him to the gorgeous redhead in front of me. That's when she looks at me… There's a glimpse of attraction in her eyes before the look of disgust, "Hi, I'm Addison Shepherd."_

 _"Shepherd?"_

 _"And you must be the woman who's been screwing my husband."_

I blush embarrassed, "Sorry… I couldn't help myself. I've just… I was worried about you but now you're here and… well, where have you been?"

"I uh, I took the kids to Copenhagen."

"You went to Denmark? For a month?" I say amazed.

She shakes her head, "We were only in Copenhagen for two weeks. I took the kids out there to the Tivoli amusement park that I loved to go to as a kid… We'd go every year… it was one of the only times we were actually together as a family and honestly? I hated every moment of it except, when we would go to the amusement park."

"Well, I bet the kids had fun," I say softly thinking about how I use to wish Bizzy was around more but when she was around, I remember why I was happy that she wasn't, so I'm pretty sure I understand what Addison means… I also realize she didn't actually say where they were for the other three weeks of their disappearance, "So, where we you before Denmark?"

"Connecticut," she admits shyly, "Before I remembered why I hated Connecticut, I thought that being at home with the only men that were alive in my life would help but then I freaked out when I started to have Gin for breakfast, lunch and dinner… Not wanting to turn into my alcoholic father, I fled and took the kids to Denmark."

"Amelia's pretty pissed that you haven't been answering your phone calls," she starts to speak but I interrupt, "and Zola's been so worried about you all that she's been sleeping with me since we got home from L.A."

"I… I have no excuse for that… I'm sorry," she looks sadly to the floor.

I smile letting her know that I'm not upset, "Oh, don't apologize to me, apologize to the grumpy six year old."

"I'll make sure to do that."

She giggles and it makes my heart melt. I need to get over her fast… We are never going to happen. Addison just lost her husband and I'm the horny freak that can't stop my mind from imagining her naked. She rocks on her feet and I realize that I haven't said anything, "So, um, you're staying in Seattle?"

"Yes…" she says uneasily.

I laugh explaining, "Sorry, I've gotten really good at reading lips."

"Henry confessed that even though he loved his friends, staying in L.A. was too much for him and I agreed. It was too much for him as it was for me. We agreed that we'd give it a fresh start in Seattle then voila! We're here."

"That's great," I say with a huge grin then I take it away quickly, "Um, so, where are you guys staying?"

"Actually, I bought a house. It's about ten minutes away from here; over by Volunteer Park. You and the kids should come over for dinner… I mean, we're not completely moved in yet but I know how much the kids miss each other."

My pager goes off but I look up to Addison with a soft smile, "Uh, yeah, for sure. We'll be there."

"Is seven okay?"

"Seven is perfect," I say as I begin to walk away, "I gotta run."

I head over to the surgical floor and I find out that Amelia paged me. Walking around the corner, I walk up to her, Stephanie and Georgia as they speak; the rest of the family is standing off in the hallway listening. I wonder what's going on.

"Your husband has been moved to a private room, and the funeral home has been notified," Amelia explains.

Georgia nods, "Okay. Okay, thank you."

"I'm afraid I have some bad news."

"What's wrong?"

"Your daughter was injured," she pauses but before I could intervene she continues, "She is okay, and the baby is okay. 35 weeks, almost time."

"What?"

Georgia looks at Amelia confused but Amelia is too dumb to catch on, "But I'm afraid, uh, your daughter was the one who caused the accident."

"No, I think you're confused. Morgan was in the car with me when we got hit," Georgia explains.

Amelia looks at me confused, "Huh?"

"Uh, your other daughter, Kara," I explain.

Amelia turns back to Georgia, "Oh, I'm sorry."

"Kara?"

"Like I said, she and the baby are both stable."

"Kara's here? Kara's having a baby?"

"Kara?" her daughter, Morgan, butts in from afar.

Of course Julian had to follow, "What?"

"She… is," Amelia says finally realizing what she's done, "She… fractured her pelvis."

"Kara's here?," he continues, "Wait. Kara was driving the car?"

"She's pregnant?" Morgan emphasizes.

Julian exclaims, "You have got to be kidding me! She had the nerve to show up! Kara did this to us?!"

"She said it was an accident," I explain.

Julian scoffs, "Of course she did. Classic."

"Julian…"

Georgia fusses but that doesn't stop him, "Drugs again, right? Has to be."

"I hope not," some random family member says.

Julian shakes her head and turns to them, "They said she's knocked up. Good Lord, what's next?"

"What Pete and Georgia did to be saddled with that mess!" someone shouts from the crowd.

Georgia shakes her head and turns back to us, "You said my husband was here. Can I see him, please?"

"Sure," Amelia nods and we follow Stephanie to Pete's room.

Stephanie opens the door to a patient room at the end of the hall, "I'm sorry. This was the best place we could find for him. The morgue guys were supposed to come and get him, but they said he was dead when he got here, so he's not their problem. He's the funeral home's problem. And it's just become this whole big thing…"

"Edwards," Amelia finally shuts her up.

I move them out of the way and let Georgia in, "Take all the time you need."

"Always thought I'd go first," she chuckles sitting down next to him in the chair next to the bed, "Actually, no. If I pictured it, I thought we'd go together… holding each other's hands. Honey… Kara's back. It's a miracle. Kara came home. Our baby came home."

I make my way down the hall, up the stairs and over to CT. I find Owen in here as well as Jo and Arizona. I walk in making my way over to Owen's side, "Shepherd just paged. The mom's okay."

"Oh, good," he says to me then presses the intercom so Kara can hear us, "Kara, we just got word that your mom is fine. She wasn't hurt."

"Okay, thanks," she pauses, "Does she know I'm here?"

"Yeah, I, um, think that they told her," I admit.

Kara sobs. "Oh, God. Then she knows. She knows that it was me."

"Um... Kara, I'm…" Arizona stutters, "I'm so sorry, but the machine cannot get a clear read unless you're very, very still."

"Okay," Kara says trying to stifle her sobbing, "Okay, sorry."

"It's okay. It's okay. Take your time," Arizona says to her and the just continues to sob.

I can't take it anymore... I leave the room and head back downstairs to find Georgia. I'm going to convince her to come talk to Kara; to let her know everything is okay because I'm pretty sure she's not planning on listening to us right now.

I get to Pete's room and I expect to see Georgia still sitting at his bed, instead the room is filled with doctors. I spot Stephanie out in the hallway, "Edwards, what's going on in there?"

"They're running a code," she replies and my eyes go wide as I make my way into the room.

The paddles whine and I hear Amelia scream, "Charge to 270! Clear."

She shocks her and nothing changes, "Charge again."

The paddles whine, "Clear."

 _Thump._ Flatline...

* * *

Arizona comes running into the room breathing heavily. She taps me on my shoulder and whispers, "Hey, is this Georgia?"

"Uh, yeah, sudden cardiac arrest."

"No," Amelia says cutting in, "We're getting her back. We have to."

"Well, how long has it been?" Arizona asks.

Amelia glances at the clock, "42 minutes."

"Shit."

Arizona leaves then I realize that I probably should stop Amelia because I know she won't stop herself. She's in too deep and sadly, it's too late. I signal the code team to stop and Amelia turns around looking at me like I'm crazy.

"What are you doing?" she practically yells.

I keep my voice level, "We have to call it."

"No, she's not…" she trails off, "They can't have another funeral."

"Amelia, she's gone," I say as we hear Georgia flatlining again.

Amelia sighs ripping off her stethoscope, "Damn it. Time of death, 14:02."

"Amel–," I start but I'm cut off by Amelia leaving the room.

"I'm going to go tell the family," she says as I make my out the room.

I head upstairs to inform Owen if Arizona hasn't already… When I get to the room, Owen isn't there anymore just Jo and Arizona.

I clear my throat walking into the room, "Um, Kara, I have some bad news."

"What? What is it?" she says sitting up to look at me.

Before I'm able to say anything, Julian runs in behind me, "Why did you come back?"

"No," Kara shakes her head, "Julian?"

"Mom's dead."

"No… Dead?! No, No, they said she was fine," she says looking from Julian to me, "You told me she was…"

"Shh, it's okay," Arizona tries to calm her down.

I speak up again, "She… She had a heart attack…"

"From all the stress you caused," Julian interrupts.

Arizona turns to him, "Sir, I understand that you're upset, but need your sister to keep calm right now, okay?"

"Mom's dead?"

"What the hell, Kara?!" Julian yells again.

Kara's monitors start beeping and Arizona motions to Jo, "Wilson."

"Why did you even come here?!"

"Okay! You need to go. All right! Leave," Jo orders as she takes Julian out the room.

The monitor starts beeping rapidly, "I am so sorry. She can't be. SㅡShe can't. Oh… Oh, God. I killed her."

"Baby's heartbeat is down. He's been having decels, but never this long," Arizona comments looking at the monitor.

Kara looks over at her, "What's wrong? What's going on?"

"I'm sorry, Kara, but we're gonna have to take your baby out right now," she says then looks to Jo, "Book an O.R., and let's page Hunt."

"No, no, no, no," Kara exclaims but she's already being pushed out of them room.

I head back downstairs to find Stephanie and Amelia. I search the entire floor but I can't find them anywhere. Giving in, I head to the nearest Nurse's Station and she points me in the direction of where she last saw them. They found a room to put Georgia in as they wait for the morgue to come. Making my way over there, I run into Maggie and we both make our way over to the room. We walk into the room to find the other daughter, Morgan, sitting in the room crying over her Mom's dead body. I clear my throat which grabs Amelia and Stephanie's attention then we all step out into the hallway.

Maggie starts, "If Dr. Webber finds out about this, we're gonna be in trouble."

"It's fine. Nobody needs the room," Amelia comments.

Stephanie shakes her head, "This family was primed for a funeral. Not hers."

"I wish I was as good as you at forgetting things," Maggie says looking at me, "My life would be a lot easier if I was."

"Okay, she does not forget things," Amelia butts in, "She buries them. She thinks they're gone, but trust me… they are not gone. They're gonna come back. They always come back."

"I… am right here."

"See, this is the problem with me moving out. With three, there was balance. Now it's chaos," Amelia smirks.

We hear screaming coming from inside the room so we all run in as Morgan gasps, "She squeezed my hand. She squeezed my hand."

"What?" I say looking at her confused.

Morgan shakes her head, "No, she squeezed it. I was holding her hand, and she squeezed it. I'm telling you."

"Morgan, I am sure that you did feel something…"

"No, no, no, IㅡI don't think she's dead," she cuts Amelia off.

Stephanie adds, "The body can experience residual reflexes."

"Yes, muscles can spasm, and then they stiffen," Amelia explains, "There are a lot of reasons for slight movements."

"This wasn't slight."

This time Maggie tries, "Okay, I promise you it does not mean that she is actually…"

Georgia shoots up quickly from the hospital bed and we all scream. I look at Amelia as I watch a smile growing on her face. She turns to Maggie, "No, that woman is alive."

"I love my job," Stephanie comments.

Amelia, Maggie and I start Georgia's work up and have Stephanie page the Chief. When he gets here, he calls us out into the hallway. We explain to him all that has happened and he looks at us confused. I'm sure his face isn't comparable to how we feel. We all witnessed her die and come back to life. It was... shocking.

Richard looks at us in disbelief, "She was dead?"

"Yes," Amelia answers simply.

He scrunches up his eyes, "And now she's no longer dead."

"Also yes."

"We saw her flatline, and she's not dead."

"Lazarus syndrome…" Maggie explains, "spontaneous return of circulation after failed attempts at resuscitation."

"Or a miracle. You can't rule it out," he says.

I shake my head, "Well, when we tell a family a patient is dead, I prefer we be correct!"

"It's a low, low bar for a physician," Dr. Edwards says under her breath.

Richard scoffs, "How is she, besides undead?"

"We won't know about neuro deficits until after the cardiac workup," Amelia states.

Maggie takes over, "I did detect a slight murmur. I'm going to run a T.E.E. to make sure there aren't any abnormalities. Edwards, will you check on that?"

"Hell yeah," she exclaims before correcting herself, "Yeah. Yeah, yes. Yes, Dr. Pierce."

"We got her back. Don't blow it. Do not lose this woman a second time. Understood," Richard pauses as we all nod our heads.

Amelia speaks up, "Got it."

"Lazarus syndrome has only been reported 38 times since 1982. All this woman wanted to do was die holding her husband's hand, and she did that. She got to die holding his hand. And then she came back to life," Stephanie continues to rant as she walks away, "Sorry if I'm too amazed."

* * *

Finally it's the end of the day… I rush out of my office and downstairs to daycare to pick up Ellis. I texted Maggie letting her know I was ready to go and she told me that she was working late so she'd get a ride. With that, I make my way over to the kids' camp. Zola and Bailey look exhausted and I make a mental note to thank their camp counselors in the morning. They're going to sleep well tonight.

I get them home and into the house then Bailey, Zola and I start to get ready for dinner. I haven't told them that we're having dinner at Addie's yet because I wanted it to be a surprise. By the time we're done getting dressed, I notice that we're already running a little late. She might've lived ten minutes from the hospital but it's about thirty minutes from me… especially during rush hour.

We pull out the driveway minutes later and we're on the highway two seconds later. Next thing I know, we're pulling up to this big beautiful mansion that almost looks like a castle. I didn't even need to know that this was Addison's house to know that it was Addison's house.

Parking the car, I get all of the kids out and we make our way up to the door. Seconds later the door flies open and the kids start to scream, "Henry!"


	10. Chapter Ten

**Addison**

"I know Everett's only one and won't remember but I'm glad you decided to throw him a birthday party anyway. I haven't been back here since the housewarming and your place is amazing."

"Oh, so you don't like my house Maggie?"

"Your house versus Addison's…? I'm going to have to go with the ladder," she grins, "I mean, have you seen the views of this place?"

"Yeah, you can see Lake Union over there, the Olympic Mountains over there and the freaking Puget Sound!" Amelia exclaims.

Meredith shakes her head at her, "You're lucky you've moved out already because I'd kick you out. As for you Maggie, you better start looking for somewhere to live."

"Addison, you heard that right?" she looks at me with a slight grin.

I shake my head at them, "Fine, if Meredith actually kicks you, which I doubt, you can move in here."

"Thank you," Maggie looks from me to Meredith, "Alright, Mer, I'm moving out."

Everyone erupts in laughter before Maggie speaks up again, "I mean, come on, who could resist a rooftop terrace."

"And there's a hot tub… on the roof," Amelia exclaims, "How much did you pay for this? You know what, if I have to ask it means I can't afford it so nevermind."

"You guys are hilarious," I laugh but she's right. She can't afford it… The property sold at fifteen million.

I shake my head at the younger woman before speaking up again, "I only bought it because it reminds me of my old brownstone in Manhattan…"

"Now that I think about it, this is very New York of you Addison," Amelia smirks.

I roll my eyes at her but before I can come back at her with something witty, Dr. Riggs walks out onto the terrace and over to Maggie giving her a long, deep kiss. It falls silent for a second as he whispers something in her ear and walks away. By the time Maggie turns back to us, we're all staring up at her confused.

"What the hell was that?" Amelia, the only one bold enough to say anything, asks.

Maggie just giggles, "Well, I wanted to be able to actually tell you guys but… as you can see… Nathan and I are dating."

"Wow, congrats. I didn't even know you were interested in him," I say.

Meredith rolls her eyes, "Oh, he's all she's had to talk about all summer."

"Mer…"

"What? It took all the way until the end of September for you to ask him out," she says shaking her head.

Amelia scoffs, "Nobody tells me these things anymore… I shouldn't have moved out."

"Guys!" Callie exclaims walking out on the terrace, "Okay, so, the guys are down in the theater and they have a special presentation for us…"

"Um… Er?" Amelia says confused.

Callie laughs, "Just know there were a lot of drinking involved and Double Trouble dared them to perform for everyone."

"Oh, gosh…" Meredith grins, "If Zola and Sofia are making them do this… I'm pretty sure there's going to be lots of glitter, tutus and tiaras."

We make our way into the house and downstairs to the theater where Miranda and Arizona are sitting with the kids. I notice Tuck sitting in the back row on his phone and that Sofia and Zola are missing. I'm assuming they're helping the guys get ready 'backstage'. Once we're all seated, Everett waddles up to me. I still can't fathom the fact that my little boy is walking… These kids are growing up way too fast for me… The lights dim and Callie obnoxiously clears her throat to get everyone's attention as Zola and Sofia walk out to the front of the room.

"Thank you all for coming out," Sofia starts.

Zola laughs, "They were already here…"

"Yeah, but they didn't have to come to the performance…"

"Yeah, I guess…"

"Okay, well, um, this is the story of The Dragon Princess," Sofia says.

Zola nods, "Our story begins a long time ago in a castle in this wonderful place called ZoSoLand."

Bob Seger's _Old Time Rock and Roll_ starts playing quietly through the speakers as Callie and Arizona walk out with a huge blanket to the middle of the room. Once revealed, we see Owen dressed up as a Princess… make up, tutu, tiara and all. Amelia immediately pulls out her phone to get pictures as the music fades to a silence.

Sofia starts the narration, "This is the story of Millie. She is a magical princess who happens to keep turning into a… dragon!"

Owen opens up his arms and reveals his dragon wings then starts to flap around the room. Camera flashes go off around the room and I notice just about everyone is filming or taking pictures. I can't even keep my laughter together as the story continues on.

Zola speaks up this time, "Millie just wanted to be a regular princess and struggled with the fact that she is a dragon… so she tries in every way possible to rid herself of the curse."

"When Millie can't seem to get rid of her curse with her own magic, she and three friends…" Sofia pauses as Nathan, dressed as what I'm assuming is a troll with little green ears and hairs, Ben, dressed as maybe a vampire wrapped in a black sheet and face caked in baby powder, and Alex, dressed as a prince with a crown on his head and a sword in his sleeve, walk into the room, "one vampire, one troll and her cousin, the prince, set off for Pointe North to seek out the Blue Witch for help."

"During their journey to Pointe North, the group of friends battle some really scary bears and one-eyed monsters," Zola continues on as the men start to act out her words, "They had to fight their way through dungeons and save imprisoned dragons… And the biggest threat of all happened right outside the gates of Pointe North."

"There was a giant gremlin guarding the gates! But together as a group, they were able to sneak past the gremlin guard and make their way into the kingdom of Pointe North where, finally, they meet the Blue Witch!" Sofia exclaims as Richard runs into the room.

It makes all the kids and adults giggle but I think we were laughing more at the fact that Richard Webber was dressed as basically a blue fairy… He had on a blue tutu, a witch's hat and blue fairy wings that I'm pretty sure was Peggy's halloween costume last year…

"The Blue Witch, despite all of her magic powers, couldn't rid the princess of her curse," Zola says sadly, "instead she told Millie this: think of your powers not as a curse but as a gift."

"With that, Millie realized that she loved herself just the way she was," says Sofia.

Zola nods, "And having gained control of her dragon magic, Millie flew her friends home and they all lived happily ever after."

"The End," they both say together as the audience stands up in applause.

By the end of the night my kids were so wiped out, which I should probably thank Sofia and Zola for keeping them entertained the entire night, that they went to bed easy. Everyone had already left except Meredith and her kids… they would've been gone thirty minutes ago if Zola hadn't insisted that she'd stay and help me get the girls and Everett tucked into bed.

The two of us make our way back downstairs after saying goodnight to Henry and we meet Meredith at the door. I smile and hug the little girl, "Thanks for all your help tonight, ZoZo. You were amazing, as always."

"I don't want to go…" she pouts reaching up to me, "Can I stay here with you, Mommy?"

"Zola…" Meredith starts but I cave and pick her up anyway.

I smile softly over to Meredith letting her know it's okay before turning back to the little girl in my arms, "Zo… sweetie, you don't have any clean clothes for tomorrow nor do you have any pjs…"

"But you promised that we'd have a tea party…" she pouts crossing her arms.

I smile shaking my head at how adamant the little girl is before speaking up again, "Okay, how about this? You go home with your momma tonight and then maybe tomorrow morning, we can have tea and biscuits, you know like the Queen of England… I'll even let you do my make-up."

"Okay!" she says as her eyes light up in excitement, "Can we dress up like princesses? And maybe we can invite Sofia and the twins?"

"Well, you have to ask your and Sofia's mommies first but that doesn't sound like a bad idea to me," I smile.

She claps then hugs me before I let her down on the floor, "Thanks, Mommy. See you at the Royal Tea!"

"See you tomorrow, ZoZo," I say then I look up to Meredith who's holding a sleeping Ellis and I smile, "Well, uh, I guess I'll see you in the morning."

"So sorry about that, Addison…"

"No, it's fine… I mean, I did promise her a tea party for all the help today," I shrug.

Meredith grins for a second then it quickly disappears, "Well, um, see you guys in the morning."

"Yeah," I nod as they finally make their way out the door.

* * *

Saturday morning came a little too fast for me… By the time I woke up, it was already nine a.m. and Everett was fussy. I knew it would be another hour before we made it out of the house and that was without breakfast… Scooping up Everett and making my way downstairs to the kitchen, I pull out my cell phone dialing Meredith's number.

"Hello," her voice calls out from the other end of the phone.

I clear my throat, "Hey, Meredith… It's Addison… I was calling because, well, we are having a late start to the morning and uh… okay, I can't even lie. I woke up late and I haven't even made the kids breakfast and…"

"Addison," she cuts me off, "Breathe…"

"Sorry," I sigh as I grab a bottle out of the fridge and stick it into the microwave.

Meredith laughs, "Look, I'm making breakfast right now. If it'll make your life any easier, I could cook for everyone."

"But Mommy makes better breakfast!" I hear Zola scream in the background.

I laugh and Meredith laughs too, "Okay, never mind…"

"That would be great, Meredith," I smile relieved grabbing his bottle from the microwave, "Well, um, we'll be there hopefully within the hour."

"No rush, Sofia is already here so she'll keep Zola entertained," she says.

In the background I can hear Zola protest and I just smile to myself. Quickly, I thank Meredith and hang up the phone before heading back upstairs to the wake the kids. When I walk into Henry's room, I see that he's already awake. He's sitting in his bed reading yet another _Magic Treehouse_ book. He's been reading them all summer. So far there are fifty-five books and he is on number twenty-six.

I put Everett down on the ground and he runs off out of the room as I make my way over to Henry, "Hey, sweetie. What are Jack and Annie up to this time?"

"Good morning, Mommy. Jack and Annie are in Africa and they met some giant gorillas! They're trying to teach Jack some special magic," he says with a huge grin.

I hope he never loses his love for reading. I give him a kiss on the forehead before getting up again, "That sounds awesome. You have to let me know how it ends… but in the meantime, baby, do you think you could give yourself a bath this morning while I help your brother and sisters get ready?"

"Yeah!" he says closing his book and jumping up from the bed, "Where are we going?"

"To Meredith's for breakfast," I say as he walks into the joint bathroom, "Do you need help running the bath water?"

"Nah, I got it Mommy."

"Okay, big guy. Thank you for helping me out this morning."

"No problem," he grins and I walk out of the room content.

I sigh before entering the twins bedroom because if I know one thing for sure is that my girls are not morning people… Much to my surprise, they woke up easily this morning without any fuss. I'm not sure if it was because they were excited to go to the tea party or what but somehow we ended up out of the house and on the way to Meredith's still within the hour.

"Rabbit, rabbit, rabbit!" Zola yells as we walk through the door.

Henry grins, "Rabbit, rabbit, rabbit!"

"What's rabbit, rabbit, rabbit?" I ask confused looking up to an equally confused Meredith.

She shrugs as Zola laughs and starts to explain, "It means 'good luck'! You're supposed to say it on the first of every month!"

"Oh, well, rabbit, rabbit, rabbit to you too," I say with a small smile before looking over to Meredith in the kitchen, "Can you believe it's October already? This year just flew by."

"Right?" she agrees as she pulls some biscuits out of the oven, "Zola's already picked out her Halloween costume. Apparently, she and Sofia want to be the pink and yellow power rangers this year. I didn't even know they knew what the power rangers were! They came out when I was nineteen!"

"There's a bunch of remakes… Henry used to watch it all the time," I say walking into the kitchen.

Henry comes running in after me, "Mommy, I wanna be the red ranger for Halloween! Zola is going to be the pink ranger, Sofia's gonna be the yellow one and Bailey said he wanted to be the black one!"

"Oh wow! That's just about the whole team!" I smile down at him ruffling his hair before he makes his way back to the kids. I turn to Meredith with a shrug, "So I guess Henry is going to be a power ranger this year too."

"You know, I could've probably told you that was going to happen… Zola has this super power of persuasion… A couple of times, she got Derek to dress up in a tutu," she chuckles.

I just smile and nod. I know Derek has been gone for a while but still the dead husbands thing is still quite fresh for me. I guess Meredith noticed my uncomfortableness because she quickly changes the subject.

"So, breakfast is ready. I'll start setting the table. Could you get the kids washed up?"

"Yeah, no problem," I say making my way out of the kitchen.

Within a couple of minutes, we're all seated at Meredith's kitchen table eating breakfast. It only took a few minutes after we finished eating for Zola and Sofia to set up for the tea party. I didn't even see it happen but by the time the twins and I sat down, we were all dressed up in boas, tiaras and tutus. Zola and Sofia both did our makeup and I don't even look in the mirror but I'm almost positive I look like a clown. It's cute when kids do it but not grown women…

Meredith insisted that we take a photo and she couldn't hold back her laughter the whole time taking it. She lucked out by offering to play _Dungeons and Dragons_ with the boys. Some kids at Henry's school played it with him once and he asked me to get it for him. I'm not into all that stuff but I tried to play along with him however he said I was boring… Meredith seemed a lot more enthusiastic about it so maybe she'll have better luck.

About an hour later, the twins are asleep upstairs in Bailey's room along with Ellis and Everett. The doorbell rings and Meredith asks if I can get it. It's her move in the game. Making my way to the door, I almost forgot how ridiculous I looked until I see my best friend staring back at me clearly amused.

"I take it you let Zola and Sofia do your make-up today," she grins at me.

I start to take off my tiara when I realized I didn't really care. I just shrug, "I'm a sucker for tea parties…"

"Don't let me interrupt," she chuckles making her way through the door.

I close the door behind her and follow her into the living room, "Actually, our royal tea has has come to an end and now we're watching _The Princess Diaries_."

"Nice…" she says with a shake of her head, "I actually came by because a friend of mine is taking her kids to Enchanted Village and I wanted to know if the little ones wanted to go."

"Did you say Enchanted Village?" Zola squeals.

Sofia starts to jump up and down with Zola and I turn back to Callie shaking my head, "Well, that looks like a yes to me. I'll go see if Henry and Bailey want to go. I'm sure it'll be okay with Meredith."

"You guys might want to go change. You're overdressed for an amusement park. Other kids will be jealous of how fancy you look," Callie tells the girls.

Zola nods to Sofia, "She's right! Come on, let's go to my room!"

"Hey, Meredith," I say walking into the kitchen. It's quiet and the air is intense, "Oh, sorry."

"The two of you begin to move north slowly, the mud sucking at your boots from below the waterline. The water is about one to two feet deep; Bailey, you try to determine the quality of the house from where you are. Make a perception check," Meredith says before turning to me, "Hey, what's up?"

"Um, well, Callie's here and she was wondering if the boys wanted to go the Enchanted Village."

"Yeah, for sure," Bailey says.

Henry nods, "Yeah, we can go. We'll finish the campaign later."

"Okay," Meredith nods, "Go get on your shoes, Bailey."

"Okay," he says running off with Henry following closely behind.

Meredith turns around to me with an awkward smile, "Sorry for that."

"For what?" I ask confused and she pulls out her phone showing me a picture of how ridiculous I look. I can't help but laugh then I shrug, "You know, it's okay. Henry doesn't really care for tea parties and the twins aren't really old enough to be into that stuff. So I don't really get to do this… and I love it. I mean, I'm happy to be invited over for imaginary tea… anytime, really."

"Zola would love that… she loves spending time with you Addison," she smiles but it disappears as quickly as it came.

The boys come running down the stairs and Bailey shouts, "We're ready!"

"Awesome, let's go see if the girls are ready," I say as they follow me back into the foyer where the girls are waiting with Callie.

Meredith and Callie exchange greetings before she heads out with the kids. I turn back to Meredith and I feel an awkward silence coming on. We always have our kids as a buffer between us and except for the sleeping kids upstairs, we were pretty much alone.

Breaking the silence, Meredith speaks up, "Well, uh, did you want to wait here for the kids to get back? Or at least until the little ones wake up? I know how grumpy Ellis gets when I wake her prematurely… And I could make mimosas?"

"You had me at mimosas," I say in response.

We're about four mimosas and forty minutes deep into _The Princess Diaries 2_ when Meredith looks over to me, "Addison, I just wanted to apologize…"

"You do a lot of apologizing, Meredith Grey."

"I'm serious this time…"

"Okay," I say sitting up a little and looking towards her, "What's up?"

"That night… at Amelia's wedding," she says hesitantly, "I'm sorry. My recollection of that night has very vivid images of me getting you drunk and taking advantage of you."

"Oh," I start to chuckle, "Wow."

"This is so not funny. I'm serious," she says losing her straight face as she starts to giggle.

I shake my head, "I remember that night too and… you didn't take advantage of me. We were both drunk and if anyone is to blame, it's the bartender."

This makes her laugh as she finally starts to relax a little. I shake my head turning back to the movie… When I first met Meredith eleven years ago, I would've laughed in their face if anyone told me that Meredith and I would become anything more than coworkers… but today, I would even go as far as sort of calling Meredith my friend. I don't know when it happened or how but it did. And you know what? I'm not mad it did.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Henry**

"Sometime in the not too distant future, the Earth starts on a quest to save the galaxy. They send their five bravest heroes… The Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers! Bailey, the mighty black ranger," I announce as Bailey runs out and strikes a tough pose after I call his name. Everyone follows suit until I get to Everett… I have to lead him out when I call his name, "The mighty blue ranger Everett and last but not least, I, the mighty red ranger."

I start to laugh when Zola yells, "Go! Go! Power Rangers!"

I pick up Everett and we all start running towards the babies playing in the living room. They don't know it but they're the bad guys in our story. We were just about to save the universe when our parents walk into the room.

"Arrgh mateys, ready to go?" Momma asks before showing off her eyepatch and her hook. She dressed up as a pirate. Zola told the grown ups that Halloween would be more fun if they dressed up too. Because the twins are princesses, Mommy decided to dress up as a queen and Auntie Callie is dressed up as a witch. Auntie Callie picks up Everett and gets him into his stroller while Momma does the same with Ellis, who's dressed as a ladybug, and we all head to the door. We're just about to walk out when the doorbell rings. Auntie Callie opens it and it's Aunt Arizona dressed as a fairy. She and Auntie Callie kiss and I nudge Sofia.

She giggles knowingly and whispers to me, "We're going to be a family again."

"That's awesome, Sofia," I grin, "I'm happy for you."

"Thanks, Henry," she nudges me back and her cheeks turn a little red when she smiles. It makes my tummy tingle a little but in a good way.

We make our way out of Momma's house and onto the street. There's so many people out here already. I know this night is going to be fun. Momma stops us all at the mailbox and gathers us up in a circle, "Okay, ZoZo, what are the rules?"

"Stay on the route! We do this every year so I can lead. I know where we're going," she says crossing her arms.

Momma nods, "And?"

"And, don't get more than three feet ahead of the grown-ups…" she frowns, "and no eating candy unless it's checked by the grown ups. And most importantly, always always say trick-or-treat at the door!"

"And I brought glow sticks!" Aunt Arizona squeals before passing them out to us… Now that I that I think about it, Auntie Callie and Aunt Arizona were getting kind of close at my mommy's birthday party a couple of weeks ago.

It was my first time really seeing them together since we came to Seattle. Sofia said that they were mad at each other because Sofia lived with Aunt Arizona instead of Auntie Callie now but by the looks of it, they might actually be a family again. I haven't seen Auntie Callie smile this much in a long time.

We take off down the street and the first house we go to is Momma's neighbors. They have a huge gigantic spider on their roof and webbings hanging on the front of the house. I know it isn't real so I'm not scared but I don't want the twins to be so I hold their hands on the walk up to the door. Zola rings the doorbell and we they open it we all yell, "Trick or Treat!"

"Happy Halloween, kids!" Mr. Morgan says as he takes a handful of candy and dumps it into each of our bags, "Your costumes are great! I love the power rangers and you two little ones are the most adorable princesses!"

Parker and Peggy give him a toothy grin as we make our way back to the sidewalk where our parents stand waiting. We continued through the neighborhood walking in front of our parents. They stood at the end of the driveways and in front of the yards while we went from door to door. They seemed as though they were having fun, although they didn't get any candy… I'll share mine with them so they won't feel left out.

By the time we head back home, the babies had already fallen asleep and Peggy had climbed up into Aunt Arizona's arms. She was asleep by the time we made it back to the house. Momma and Aunt Arizona went upstairs to put the little ones and Peggy to bed. Not ready to go to bed, Zola asks Mommy if we can stay up and watch scary movies. Lucky us, she didn't say no but she did say we can only watch one since we all have to go to school tomorrow. So, we all flop down on the couch in front of the TV and Auntie Callie puts in Goosebumps while Mommy goes to make popcorn.

Before you know it, we're all in front of the TV eating popcorn and candy. I had a lot of fun tonight and I wasn't sad at all until I realized that this Halloween and every one after, my daddy wouldn't be there. Every year we'd dress up together… last year, he was Batman and I was Robin. The year before that, he was Darth Vader and I was Luke… The year before that, we went as Mario and Luigi… the year before that, I was Mike and he was Sully… I've even seen pictures of our first Halloween together… we both went as lions. It's hard knowing that I'll never have that again… my daddy is gone.

"Henry, what's wrong?" Sofia whispers over to me as she wipes a tear off my face, "You're crying."

"Oh," I reply with a shrug. I didn't even notice I had started crying. I wipe my face off quickly before my mommy could notice… I don't want to make her sad too. "It's just that… Halloween was my dad's favorite holiday… We would always dress up together… like last year, we were Batman and Robin…"

"And now it's never going to be the same again?" Sofia asks. I just shake my head 'no' as another tear falls from my eyes. Sofia reaches for my hand and holds on to it when she speaks, "I'm sorry, Henry… and I know it's not much but I'll always be here for you."

I think Sofia actually helped last night because I woke up this morning feeling a lot better than I did when I went to bed. It's Tuesday and at my new school, we have to wear uniforms everyday except Friday. Fridays are our dress down days… I didn't think I would like my new school at first. I thought I'd be scared because I didn't know anybody but when I walked into my classroom the first day, I saw Zola and Sofia. My mommy hadn't told me that we'd all be in the same class. She wanted it to be a surprise and although, Sofia and Zola are a year older than me, we're all in the same grade because I skipped preschool and kindergarten and went straight to first grade last year.

I took my bath and was dressed before Mommy, like usual. I make my way downstairs to make myself some cereal. Mommy always leaves the box on the counter so I can reach it while she gets the twins and Everett ready for daycare. By the time, they come downstairs, I'm already down with my cereal and ready to head out for school. We all climb into Mommy's new truck and take off towards my school.

Everyday, Sofia, Zola and I get to school at the same time. Today, we're only seconds behind because when we pull up, Momma had already started walking the girls in. I kiss Mommy goodbye then run out the car after them.

"Zola! Sofia!" I yell out waving. The turn around waving back as I join them.

Momma smiles at me, "Good morning, Henry."

"Morning, Momma," I smile back giving her a hug.

She leaves us at the door and we all head inside towards Mrs. Ruth's class. When we get in the classroom, we hang up our coats in the cubbies then head over to our table that we share with our friend, Max. It doesn't look like Max is here yet but we go ahead and start on our morning work anyway. We usually do it all together but by the time the announcements came on and he still wasn't here, we figured he must not be coming in today.

After the announcements, we start with Language Arts. I'm pretty good in this subject but Sofia is better. She's the best writer and speller in our grade and she reads on a fourth-grade level! Sofia is the smartest person I know! Mommy says Sofia learns easily than most because she's bi-lingual… It means she speaks two languages. I don't know how that makes it easier to learn but I try to pay extra attention in French so I can learn easier too.

After French, it's lunch time. Most of my friends say it's their favorite time of the day because during lunch we get to hang out with all the second graders in the school and right after is recess. I usually play basketball with Max but since he isn't here today, I find myself in the sandbox with the girls.

"Hey, you three," a voice calls from outside the sandbox.

We all turn towards the voice and Zola immediately crosses her arms, "We have names, Joey."

"Fine… Zola… Sofia… and um, you're new to the school right?" he looks to me.

I nod, "Yeah, I'm Henry."

"I'm Joey. I'm in Mr. Tavier's class. Sofia and Zola were in my class last year," he explains and I nod, "Anyway, we need three more people for our kickball game. If you come play, I promise I'll pick you guys for my team."

"Guys?" Zola looks to the both of us and we look at each other then shrug. She turns back to Joey, "Fine, we'll play with you."

"Run, Henry, run!" someone shouts from the sidelines. I kicked the ball so hard that everyone on the other team had to run after it. All the bases were full before I kicked and now it's clear, we've scored three more points and I'm coming into home with the fourth. I see the kickball flying through the air towards home base and I have to run at my fullest speed to get to base on time. I slide into home before the ball reaches and my team has won the game. We all start shouting and jumping up and down.

The bell rings and everyone heads back inside. It's reading time. Some days, Mrs. Ruth reads to us but today is silent reading time. We get thirty minutes to read our favorite book everyday in class. I'm on the last book of the first group of the _Magic Treehouse series_ , number twenty-eight, _High Tide in Hawaii_. Jack and Annie travel back in time to Hawaii and almost get caught in a tsunami. I wonder what it would be like if I had a magic treehouse.

 _"What kind of special magic will we look for this time?" said Sofia as we glanced around the treehouse. We saw the scrolls we'd brought back from Shakespeare's theater, the twig from the mountain gorillas and the pouch of corn seeds from the first Thanksgiving. Sofia pointed to a book in there corner, "There!"_

 _A piece of paper was sticking out of it. I picked up the book then pulled out the paper and read:_

 _Dear Henry and Sofia,_  
 _Good luck on your fourth journey to find a special magic. This secret rhyme will guide you:_  
 _To find a special magic,_  
 _build a special kind of ship,_  
 _that rides the waves,_  
 _both high and low,_  
 _on every kind of trip._

 _Thank you,_  
 _Zola._

 _I looked at Sofia and questioned, "A ship?"_

 _"Yep. I guess we have to build a ship. Where do we go to build it?" she asked._

 _We both looked at the book's cover. It showed palm trees, a beach, and a beautiful ocean. The title was: A VISIT TO OLD HAWAII._

 _"Oh, wow!" said Sofia, "I love Hawaii!"_

 _"How do you know you love it?" I asked, "We've never been to Hawaii."_

 _"Well, we're going now!" said Sofia then she pointed at the cover, "We wish we could go there!"_

 _The wind started to blow._

 _The treehouse started to spin._

 _It spun faster and faster._

 _Then everything was still._

 _Absolutely still._

"Alright class," Mrs. Ruth says catching my attention away from the book, "silent reading time is over. Time for math."

After math class, my favorite block of the day starts. It's our special class time but everyday it's different. On Mondays, we have class in the library with Mr. Wright. Tuesdays we have technology in the lab with Ms. Spencer. We have art class with Mrs. Temperance on Wednesdays. Thursdays we have Music with Ms. Davenport. Fridays we have P.E. with Mr. Smith.

Today is Tuesday, so we're headed to the lab. This week we're working on coding. Ms. Spencer says that every week we're going to learn something that is going to help us make our robots at the end of the year. I'm so excited for making robots so I think Tuesdays are my favorite now. My favorite day used to be Saturday because that's when all my favorite shows would come on TV but building robots is so much better.

After our special block, it's time for Science and Social Studies. Auntie Melia says I need to pay a lot of attention in Science if I'm going to become a surgeon and help save other people's dads. Luckily, I'm really good in science class. Mommy says it's because when I was a baby, Auntie Melia used to teach me all about her surgeries and the human anatomy.

It's the end of the day now and Zola, Sofia and I make our way to the front of the school to wait on our parents. Joey from recess runs up to us and hands us some invitations, "Here.. I had fun at recess and wanted to invite you to my birthday party."

"Thanks, Joey," Zola smiles and he runs off.

Momma pulls up in her truck a few minutes later. She rolls down the window, "Hey, guys. Your moms got pulled into surgery so I'm picking you all up today."

"Cool," I smile climbing into the truck behind the girls. Momma already picked up Bailey from pre-school so I wave to him, "Hey, Bailey. You have a good day at school?"

"Yeah! I know how to read!" he shouts then pulls out his book reading the cover, "The. Cat. In. The. Hat."

"That's awesome, man," I smile and Sofia claps.

Zola joins in, "Great job, Bailey."

"Oh, no," Sofia says looking at Joey's invitation. Zola and I turn around to her and she shows us the invitation, "Isn't the 12th your sisters' birthday?"

"Yeah, they were born on 11/12/13," I say finally looking at the date on the invitation, "Oh."

"We can't go," Sofia says.

I shake my head, "You guys can go. I just can't."

"It's Parker's and Peggy's birthday, Henry," Zola says this time, "We can't miss it."

"Maybe there would be a way to go to both?" I suggest.

Sofia nods, "Joey's birthday party doesn't start until seven anyway."

"Yeah, I'm sure we could go to both," Zola agrees.

 _Suddenly I heard a rumbling from under the sand. The ground started to shake. It shook so hard, the book flew out of my hands! I bounced up and down on the beach. Shells were jumping up and down, too. Rocks tumbled down from the cliff. It's an earthquake, I thought immediately. The rumbling stopped._

 _The shaking stopped. I looked around and everything was normal again, except some rocks rolled around at the bottom of the cliff. I look out to sea. Sofia and our new friends, Kama and Boka, were past the breakers. They were sitting on their surfboards, laughing and talking. Everything seemed okay but I felt sure that something was wrong. I grabbed the Hawaii book from the sand. I looked up "earthquake" and read:_

 _Earthquakes in Hawaii have been known to cause tsunamis (soo-NAH-meez), which used to be called "tidal waves." An earthquake can cause water out at sea to be set in motion. The water grows higher and higher as it moves toward land. Just before the tsunami strikes, water may pull away from the shore. Then it returns in a gigantic wave that crashes over the land and washes everything away._

 _Oh, man! I thought. A tsunami might be coming! I had to find out more about tsunamis quickly. I read as fast as I could:_

 _A tsunami can strike a few hours―or a few minutes!―after an earthquake. It depends on the strength of the earthquake and where it took place. After earthquakes, it is safest for islanders to seek higher ground._

 _We have to get to higher ground now! I thought, dropping the book. I ran down to the edge of the ocean. Boka, Kama and Sofia were still paddling out beyond the waves._

 _"Hey, you guys!" I yelled but they didn't hear me._

 _I went into the shallow water. "Hey, you guys!" I yelled, "Come back!"_

 _They still didn't hear me. I ran to my surfboard, grabbed it, and ran into_ _the ocean. I fought the breaking waves. Once I was past them, I threw myself on my board and paddled wildly. The wave swells grew as I paddled. I could hardly see Sofia, Boka, or Kama over them. I paddled faster and faster, trying to reach them._

 _"Hey!" I yelled, "Hey!"_

 _Boka looked back at me. He gave me a friendly wave, then turned away again. I have to get them to come to me! I thought frantically._

 _"HELP! HELP!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. The three kids jerked around. They paddled quickly toward me with worried faces._

 _"What's wrong?" Sofia cried when they got closer, "Are you in trouble?"_

 _"We all are!" I said, "A tsunami might be coming! There was an earthquake when I was on the beach!"_

 _"We'd better ride in fast!" said Boka._

 _"Stay on your bellies!" said Kama, "It's safer!"_

 _"Here comes a wave!" cried Boka._

 _We all started paddling. The swell of the wave picked us up. We were all swept forward! I gripped the sides of my board as I zoomed along with the others. Suddenly I dropped down as the wave curled under. It felt like a roller coaster! But I stayed on my board as the wave carried me to shore. I rolled off into the shallow water. I snatched up my board and ran onto the sand where Boka and Kama were waiting._

 _"Good riding, Henry!" said Boka._

 _"Where's Sofia?" I asked then Boka pointed. Sofia was in the shallow water, pulling her board in. As we watched, something very weird began to happen to the ocean._

 _The water around Sofia started to pull away…_

 _"Run, Sofia!" I screamed._

 _"Henry! Henry!"_

"Henry! Wake up!" I open my eyes to Peggy smiling at me, "I'm three now!"


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Meredith**

"Have you seen Alex?" I ask rushing past the elevator as Nathan steps off.

He shakes his head, "What's the rush?"

"I'm late to pick up Zola from ballet and I haven't even started cooking for tomorrow," I say as I continue my descent out of the building.

Dr. Riggs follows behind me, "Grey, you know you were supposed to start cooking Thanksgiving dinner like days ago."

"Oh, shut up, Riggs. I don't see you at home in my kitchen cooking so you can't comment," I say making my way out the lobby doors before turning around to him, "Where's Maggie anyway?"

"Oh, I almost forgot. She said her surgery was running late and she'd be home to help cook right after."

"I'm never going to get this done. Who volunteered me to host Thanksgiving anyway?" I sigh heading out towards my car. I hear Nathan laughing as he heads back inside the hospital.

Apologizing profusely to her instructor I pick up Zola from class and we rush home. It's a miracle I even got the shopping done this past week balancing the kids and work… I miss Izzie… I knew if I had no one, Izzie would be home in the kitchen cooking. She was the one person that could actually get the whole family together… I'm not meant for this… Where is Izzie when I need her?

I make my way upstairs to my room and I flop down on my bed on top of something rough, "Aah! Alex?!"

"What the hell, Mer?"

"Alex? Oh!" I chuckle, "Wait, I've been looking for you all day."

"I've been here," he says sitting up, "I've been sleeping."

"All day?"

"All day," he nods.

There's something he isn't telling me. I look at him skeptically, "What's going on?"

"Jo and I broke up."

"She still wouldn't accept your proposal?" I say as my pager goes off, "Holy fuck, I'm never going to get this meal cooked."

"I'll get started on it."

"Really?" I ask sarcastically, "the only thing I've ever seen you ever cook was a grilled cheese… and you burnt it."

"Oh, shut up," he shoves me.

I laugh making my way out there door, "Thanks, Alex."

Turns out, an old patient of mine came into the hospital with a ruptured appendix. The surgery didn't take long at all and by the time I walk out, I run into Maggie. It looks as though she's just coming out of surgery as well.

"Hey, Mer, I thought you'd be at home cooking?"

"I was but I got paged back in for an emergency appendectomy," I shrug as we walk down the hall together, "Alex volunteered to help out so he's at home getting started."

"Oh okay, well, I'm done for the night so I'm about to head home too," she says and as we round the corner, I spot Callie and Addison over at the Nurses' Station.

I nod heading towards them, "Okay, I'll, uh, see you at home."

"Oh, hey, Mer," Callie smiles once I make my way over to them, "Addison was just telling me that she's spending Thanksgiving alone with the kids."

"Oh, no, you can't do that… It's Thanksgiving and plus, I'm hosting this year so you guys should come over."

"Oh, no, I wouldn't want to intrude."

"I insist… If I have to be at this dinner tomorrow, so do you," I joke.

She laughs, "Fine. I know the kids would love it and the only thing I've made so far is the green bean casserole."

"That settles it then," Callie smiles grabbing her chart and walking away, "See you guys tomorrow."

"You do realize that was a setup, right?" Addison shakes her head, "Callie so has ulterior motives."

"Even so, she's right. You can't spend Thanksgiving alone… you're supposed to spend it with your loved ones… and trust me, they'll be so many people at my house tomorrow… there's ought to be someone you love there," I laugh, "Plus, if you bring the green bean casserole, that's one less dish I have to make."

"What time is dinner?"

"Six."

"Okay, we will see you guys tomorrow… at six," she smiles grabbing her chart and finally walking away.

I smile to myself as I put away my chart and make my way up to my office. I change out of my scrubs into my street clothes, grab my bag and head out of the building. By the time I make it home, Alex just finished peeling the potatoes and Maggie is just putting the candied yams into the oven. Alex made three things of cornbread, one is for the dressing that we'll make in the morning. It's getting late so I just help Maggie peel the sweet potatoes for her casserole before I head to bed. I asked the people who volunteered to help cook to come over tomorrow morning at nine a.m. so I have to be up early tomorrow to get everything ready.

"Gratitude, appreciation, giving thanks. No matter what words you use, it all means the same thing. Happy," I say to baby Ellis who's playing with her breakfast in her highchair as I fill the sink up with hot water, "We're supposed to be happy. Grateful for friends, family, happy just to be alive…"

I drop the turkey down into it then I grab all the recipes I printed out and the two books I'm going to use. I'm so not in the mood for this right now. I hear footsteps coming down the stairs and I look up to see Alex sneaking past the kitchen.

"Hey!" I call out and he turns around to me, "What do you think you're doing?"

"Uh…" he thinks as the doorbell rings, "answering the door."

"You're going to the hospital?" I ask noticing his work bag on his shoulder.

He nods, "Yes but afterㄧ"

"Alex, everyone is supposed to be in the kitchen by nine a.m. to help me make dinner. It's Thanksgiving."

"I'm really not in the mood plus I made the mashed potatoes and cornbread last night."

"But it's like a family… oh who am i kidding…" I finish as the doorbell rings again.

Alex points, "Doorbell."

Alex disappears out of my sight and then I hear Nathan's voice, "Hey, guys!"

"Hey, I'm just…" is all Alex get out before he runs out the door.

I shake my head, "Alex, I'm serious! You need to back here for dinner at six! I mean it!"

"Hey, Nathan," Maggie says coming down the stairs dressed in her coat.

I look at her quizzically, "Where are you going?"

"I'm just running out… Nathan and I are going to get some booze…" she says walking past the kitchen, "Do you need anything else from the store?"

"Okay, wait, wait!" I call after her, "I can't make dinner by myself. Who's going to help me?"

"Promise we'll be right back," she says as she runs out behind him.

Sighing, I go ahead and get started on the greens… luckily, there isn't much to them but boiling water and seasoning. While I'm still ahead, I start on my marinade for the turkey while it's still defrosting. I didn't notice how much time had passed before the doorbell rang again. It's probably Owen and Amelia… if it were Maggie or Alex, they would've let themselves in. Either way, they should've been here an hour and a half ago…

"It's half past 10! You're late! I've had to try to do allㄧ" I stop instantly when I realize that it's not Amelia and Owen, it's Addison and the kids. I smile awkwardly, "Addison! Sorry, I thought you were Amelia."

"No problem, it's fine. We didn't have anything to do this morning and figured I'd come by and help cook while the kids play," she smiles offering up her green bean casserole.

The kids run in past her and Henry hugs my legs, "Hey, Momma!"

"Hi, baby boy. Zola and Bailey are upstairs," I say as he and the twins go running off upstairs.

Addison walks in behind them, "Why is it so quiet in here?"

"Uh, Alex went to the hospital and Maggie and Nathan are out getting alcohol," I say closing the door behind us.

She walks into the kitchen with Everett on her heels, "So it's just me and you?"

"And Amelia and Owen, if they ever show up."

"Is something burning?"

"Oh god yes!" I run into the kitchen and grab the burning pan out the stove just as doorbell rings again, "Shit."

"Oh," Addison asks taking the smoking pan away from me as I run to the door, "What is that?"

"It was supposed to be my marinade," I call out as I open the door. It's actually Owen and Amelia this time. I frown letting them in, "Hey guys. You're late."

"You've never made a Thanksgiving dinner before," Addison says from the kitchen.

I whisper to myself closing the door behind them, "I really miss Izzie."

"Meredith can't cook. She's worse than me and I can't boil water," Amelia says walking into the kitchen. She sits down at the counter and asks, "Where is everyone?"

"Alex went to the hospital," I say walking into the kitchen, "Nathan came and took Maggie; they said they'd be right back…"

"I can be of some assistance," Owen offers up.

Addison throws away the burnt marinade, "We surely need it."

"You can get started on the squash," I tell Owen and he nods heading over to the sink to wash his hands.

Amelia jokes, "Okay that's it. If there's gonna be no food, I'm going home."

"Amelia, I have this," Addison says then turns to me, "What are you using as a reference text?"

"'The joy of cooking'," I motion over to the recipe book on the counter as I make my way over to the sink, "I also printed up some recipes from the internet but they all seem to contradict one another and I can't figure out which side of the turkey is up and which is the bottom."

"Okay… Okay, um, I'm gonna need the basing brush, a bowl, uh, a clove of garlic and ah, do you have any fennel?" Addison lists as Owen and I start looking madly for the ingredients.

I grab the fennel bringing it over to the sink, "Uh, yeah, right here."

"Ah, okay, well let's get this turkey up and running," she says holding out her hand, "Garlic."

"Garlic," I say while slapping the garlic into her hand.

The doorbell rings and I go to answer it. It's Callie, Arizona and Sofia. Callie smiles, "We brought the mac & cheese and a couple of pies."

"Great. The kids are upstairs and we're all in the kitchen. Maggie is…" I pause as a car pulls up in the driveway. Joe and his husband get out the car and I smile waving before I turn back to Callie, "supposed to be on her way back in with the booze."

"Sounds like a party to me," Arizona smiles as they make their way in.

Joe and Walter walk up to the door only seconds later, "Happy Thanksgiving!"

"Joe, thank god! Tell me you brought liquor," I smile over to his husband, "Hey, Walter."

"I brought pie; Pumpkin," he smiles holding out the pie, "And your favorite…"

"Tequila!" Walter smiles pulling out the bottle from behind him.

I happily take the tequila, "Everyone's in the kitchen."

A few shots and a margarita later, I'm in the kitchen chopping celery with a large knife on the kitchen island. Arizona, Owen and Walter are drunk entertaining the kids while Joe, Callie and Amelia sit at the counter watching us cook… They were supposed to be helping. Addison is standing over my shoulder and I feel as though I'm in the OR. It makes me laugh a little.

Addison sips on her margarita, "Hmm. You have to cut the celery into finer pieces, Grey."

"Uh huh," I nod cutting a few more pieces then I hold one up to her, "Like that?"

"That'll do. Put them in with the onions," she instructs as I grab the chopped pieces and place them in a bowl of chopped onions, "Now, what should you be concerned about?"

"Um…"

"The turkey, Grey. I expect you to know that."

"Right. I need to check the turkey to see if it's cooking at the correct temperature," I nod as we head over to the oven.

Addison nods, "And how do we do that?"

"Meat thermometer," I say holding it up in the air.

Joe whispers loudly, "Ten bucks says she dries out the turkey."

"Twenty says she pulls it off," Callie says sipping her drink.

Amelia laughs, "Seventy-five says they'll totally make out."

"I'm with you on that one," Callie scoffs and I roll my eyes.

Addie opens the oven and pulls out the turkey a bit. I think aloud, "Hmm."

"Okay Grey, let's see what you can do." I start to insert the meat thermometer and Addison nods along, "Alright. More pressure. Turkey has a tough shell. Dig in."

I push the thermometer in further, "I'm in."

"Damn, she got it in," Joe sighs.

Callie laughs, "Told you she was going to pull it off."

"Good, not bad," she nods, "Now all you have to do is get the thermometer deep enough to get a temp. But be careful not too…"

"Oh!" we both shout at the same time.

She shakes her head at me, "You hit the bone! The pan is filling with juice and you're losing moisture. What do you do?"

"Uh…" I say panicking, "um…"

"Think!"

"This is ridiculous," Amelia laughs as I pace around the kitchen.

Addison shakes her head, "Suction, Grey! Use the baster for suction!"

"Oh, right," I say grabbing the baster as Maggie and Nathan walk into the kitchen.

Maggie smiles waving two bottles of liquor in her hands, "I brought Tequila!"

Everyone in the house starts to clap and they all make their way into the living room leaving Addison and I alone in the kitchen. We're getting started on the dressing since just about everything else is done. Dr. Bailey and Ben are bringing some chicken just in case my turkey isn't big enough for everyone then we'd have our entire Thanksgiving feast. Thank God for Addison or none of this would've been ready in time.

I start tossing some onions around in a pan as Addison puts the corn into the boiling water. She looks over my shoulder to the pan in my hands and says, "You want the butter to melt, not to boil."

"Oh, okay," I stop with the onions, pick up a wooden spoon and start mixing the butter in another pan before looking over to her, "Addison, how did you learn to cook like this?"

"Honestly?" she says picking up the pan of onions and starts mixing them, "I lot of time and patience. I was terrible… One Thanksgiving, Carolyn broke her wrist the day before and Derek invited all thirty-four of his family members over to our house… Let's just say Carolyn wouldn't let me step foot in the kitchen after that and blamed me for Kathleen getting salmonella… She says I tried to poison them… But, I guess, Henry changed things. At first, it was just me and him so, I had to learn how to cook… watched a bunch of cooking shows while I sipped my wine and eventually, after years of practice…"

"Seriously?"

"Seriously," she nods.

I sigh, "How do I still suck?"

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Grey. You were spoiled with people who could actually cook."

"Was that an insult, Dr. Montgomery?" I ask.

She grins sipping her drink, "No, no, not at all."

"Momma!" tiny voices come yelling into the kitchen.

I smile down at the kids, "Yes, little ones?"

"Look at the turkey hat I made with Aunt Arizona!" Bailey says as he holds up his creation to me.

The twins smile holding up their hats, "We made hats too!"

"Sofia and I made turkey glasses!" Zola shouts.

I smile down at them, "Wow, that's so neat! You guys did an awesome job!"

"I made a centerpiece," Henry holds up his work and smiles, "Aunt Arizona said that we could put it on the table when we eat."

"That's a great idea," I nod, "You guys wanna help me set the table?"

"Yeah!" the all bounce up and down.

I turn to Addison and she nods, "I'll finish up in here."

"Thanks," I say heading to the cabinets.

I hand Bailey a big cup of silverware, and the older ones get to help with the plates. I didn't want a huge accident to happen so I only give them three plates each as we make our way into the living room. We have a long table seating sixteen but I'm assuming Jo isn't coming anymore so we have two extra seats… and we have the kids table right next to ours. We set up their table with the same silverware and plates so they'll feel 'fancy like us' as Zola would say it.

When we're done, I head back into the kitchen where Addison is checking on the turkey in the oven, "The kids and I have just about got the table set up in the living room. How's our bird?"

"He needs about another hour," she says and I sigh grabbing a few more plates from the cupboard, "Why did you plan this big dinner if you knew you couldn't cook?"

"I just like Thanksgiving," I shrug.

She looks at me knowingly, "You just like Thanksgiving?"

"Doctor-patient confidentiality?"

"Doctor-patient confidentiality."

"Okay… it was Izzie. She said to me once back during intern year: 'We work eighteen hours a day, six days a week, fifty weeks a year… We don't really have any time for our families. We don't have friends that aren't doctors, but we have this one day, where we don't have to cut anyone open… one day, where we get to be like everybody else… one day to be normal; a day where nobody lives and nobody dies on our watch. It's like a gift.' So I just thought we should appreciate it. That's all," I shrug closing the cabinet, "Gotta finish setting the table."

"Okay," Addie slowly nods and smiles, "A day without surgery."


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Addison**

"5… 4… 3… 2… 1… Happy New Year!"

"Come here, little man!" I pick up Henry tickling him before placing a long kiss on his cheek, "I had to get my New Year's kiss."

"I can't believe Ellis is turning two on the fourth," Meredith says putting Ellis back on the ground after kissing her.

A tipsy Maggie giggles walking away from Dr. Riggs and over to us near the champagne fountain, "Can you believe Zola is turning seven at the end of the month?"

"Oh, don't remind me," she rolls her eyes, "I'm already planning her princess party. She wants to invite her entire grade level to some Royal Ball… I was never into that kind of stuff so you can imagine I have no idea what I'm doing."

"Ooh, I'm really good with the girly stuff," I offer up, "I'd be happy to help."

"Addison, you know, you are really amazing," Meredith says sipping on her drink.

I smirk, "Oh, you don't have to tell me. I already know."

"Addie!" a drunk Callie screams making her way over to us, "Guess what, guess what, guess what!"

"What?" the three of us ask at the same time.

Callie squeals, "Arizona and I are getting remarried! And we're even thinking about having another baby!"

"Wow, that's wow… I'm so happy for you, Callie. Congrats," I smile hugging her tightly.

She pulls back, "You know you're my Maid of Honor, right?"

"Well, duh," I say and we both giggle. There's a tug on my dress and I look down to see Peggy sucking her thumb… that means she's upset about something. I reach down to pick her up and she rests her head on my shoulder. I rock her in my arms and I whisper, "Everything okay, baby girl?"

"I wanna go home," she whines, "Parker stepped on my finger while I was playing with Sofia's dollies."

"Aww, Peggy, baby, I'm sure she didn't mean it," Meredith rubs circles on Peggy's back, "Did she say sorry?"

"Yes," she nods then holds out her finger to her, "but it still hurts."

"Here," Meredith takes her hand and kisses her finger, "Does it feel better now?"

"Yeah!" Peggy smiles taking her thumb out of her mouth and my heart melts just a little, "Okay, Mommy, I'm ready to go play now."

"Okay, baby," I say putting her on the floor and she runs off down the hall to Sofia's room. I turn to Meredith and smile awkwardly, "Uh, thanks."

"Sorry, I just couldn't resist the pout on that face," she laughs.

I laugh shaking my head, "Imagine what it's like to have two of those faces pouting at you."

"Oh, I'd just die from all the cuteness," Maggie exclaims.

As things start to wind down, I go to get the little ones from Sofia's room. By now, the twins have fallen asleep on Sofia's bed both of them with dolls in their hands and Henry is happily playing video games with Bailey. I hate to end their fun but it's getting late and I want to get home before too much traffic.

"Henry, sweetheart, it's time to go."

"Can I spend the night, pleaseee?" he asks with the cutest little smile on his face. How can I say no to that?

I cave, "Fine, but when I come to get you in the morning you have to set the table for dinner."

"Okay," he smiles bigger nodding his head and running towards me.

I hug onto him, "Have a good night, love and don't stay up too late."

"Goodnight, mommy," he says before running off to play with his toys.

I'm able to wake up Parker but Peggy didn't budge. Meredith offered to carry her out to the car while I grabbed Everett from Callie's room. Getting everybody strapped into the car, I say goodbye to Meredith and make my way home. I can't believe it's 2017 already. I can't believe it's been seven months, one week and four days since Jake died… I can't believe how much it still hurts. It's been two hundred and twenty-five days yet it's still so fresh in my mind. It's almost as if it was yesterday…

 _I basically crawl out of the bed and slip into my house shoes then I throw on one of Jake's t-shirts before making my way to the bathroom. It's a Saturday… I have the day off unless one of my patients unexpectedly goes into labor. Seeing that we both had the day off, Jake and I planned to take the kids to the park later when everyone wakes up. Henry's always loved the swings and the twins wanted to play in the sandbox. It's perfect out. I don't see any reason not to go._

 _After a quick shower, I follow my nose downstairs to the kitchen where my amazing husband is preparing breakfast. I smile sitting down at the island, "Good morning."_

 _"Good morning, beautiful," he smiles kissing me then sits a hot cup of cocoa in front of me._

 _I grin taking a sip, "You really know the way to my heart… The kids aren't up yet?"_

 _"Surprisingly, you beat them out of bed this morning," he winks at me taking the last pancake off the pan, "I just have to make the eggs then breakfast is ready."_

 _"I'll go check on the little ones," I smile kissing him softly, "I love you."_

 _"I love you more," he calls out after I walk away._

 _I shake my head as I make my way upstairs, "I love you most."_

 _"Not possible!"_

 _"Good morning," I say as I open the door to Henry's bedroom._

 _He looks up from his book smiling at me, "Good morning."_

 _"Hey, handsome, you're just waking up?" I ask and he nods, "You hungry?"_

 _"Yeah," he nods reaching up for me and I take him in my arms._

 _We make our way out the room and down the hall towards the twins room, "Let's check on your sisters to see if they're up too."_

 _"Okay," he says softly resting his head on my shoulder._

 _I peak open the door to the twins' room and they're knocked out; one twin holding onto a toy and the other holding onto her sister. They amaze me… In an attempt not to wake them, I slowly close the door behind us and make my way down the stairs. I know Everett's still asleep or we would've heard him on the baby monitor._

 _Making our way back to the kitchen I say to Henry, "I guess it's just going to be the three of us this morning."_

 _"Ca-calm down. I'll be right there," Jake says hanging up the phone when I walk into the kitchen holding Henry._

 _He has that look on his face and I frown, "Another house call?"_

 _"You know how my patients get," he shrugs._

 _I attempt to sound upset, "You spend too much time with your patients."_

 _"Oh, you're just jealous," he jokes back kissing me softly on the lips, "Hopefully, I'll be back in time for the park and if not, I'll just have to meet you guys there."_

 _"Okay," I smile up to him as he ruffles Henry's hair._

 _He kisses me softly then heads out the door, "See you in a bit."_

 _"Okay, little guy," I sit him down as I get up to make our plates, "I guess it's just you and me for now."_

 _I get the kids fed, dressed and into the car without much of a struggle. The girls were easy to dress for; they like anything they can twirl around in so I slipped dresses on them with shorts underneath so if they want, which I doubt, they can run around and jump off the swings. Henry's such a good boy that he dressed himself… and I have to admit, he's never tacky. My good taste must've rubbed off on him. I just put a onesie on Everett because it's pretty hot out today… almost eighty degrees and I don't want him to overheat._

 _We pull up to the park and Henry helps the twins out while I get Everett into a stroller. We make our way over to the playground and of course, Parker and Peggy head straight for the sandbox. I walk circles around the playground with Everett so he can enjoy himself a little too and I can look out for Jake if he makes it back in time to meet us here. It also helps me keep an eye on the sandbox where the twins are building a castle and Henry over at the swings._

 _About an hour later, I start to get worried as to why Jake never called and as I reach into my jacket pocket, I realize why. I don't have my phone on me. I must've left it at home. I hope Jake isn't too worried. He's probably been trying to reach us. I decide that I'd give the kids about thirty more minutes before we head back to the house._

 _It's when I pull up to the house and don't see Jake's car in the driveway that I really start getting worried. I rush the kids inside and I get them set up in the living room watching some old Disney movie before I go looking for my cell phone. It turns out that I left it inside Everett's changing station this morning. Going through it, I have no missed calls and not even a text from Jake. I figured maybe he just got pulled into an emergency surgery or something at the hospital. I call him anyway… even if he doesn't pick up, I could leave a voice message._

 _"Hey, um, it's me," I say into the phone when he doesn't answer, "Missed you today. I figured that you probably got pulled into a surgery… well, we're back at home and I'll get started on dinner. Could you stop by the store and get extra pasta? I love you. I'll see you soon."_

 _What I didn't expect was for the doorbell to ring right after…_

 _Henry calls from downstairs, "I got it!"_

 _"Henry," I remind him coming down the stairs, "what did I say about answering the door?"_

 _"Don't do it unless I ask who is it first and only when you and Daddy are home," he answers swinging open the door._

 _My heart stops when I see the red and blue lights in the background… when I see the two cops standing outside my door… I can't breathe._

After getting the kids into bed, I find myself dragging through the house on the way to my bedroom. I don't know what's wrong with me. Today should be a good day; this year started off with hope and love. As soon as the year turned over, Callie tells me that she is getting remarried to her soulmate and even trying for a new baby. That's a good sign; and I should be overjoyed but I'm not. I'm not and it makes me feel selfish; even a little jealous. I want what she has… I want that everlasting love and the big happy family. I want that. I had that. With Jake. Lying here alone, thinking about the end, I can only think about the beginning...

 _I just left from my therapy session that evening and my therapist tried to deem me clinically depressed. I'm not depressed. I have a great life, a great job… I love my job, I do, I can't imagine doing anything else. The rest of my life is fine… it's fine… I just… I feel like I'm missing my life… I'm disconnected from my life… like it's a really a boring movie I don't want to watch. I mean, I spend all day long helping other people have a life. And I can deal with that. I can, if I just knew… that something was gonna change. Something has to change, right? When is my life going to change?_

 _'When you make it change.' That was all my therapist had to say. When I make it change. I want to make it change. I decide to go to the grocery store and get some fruit… make some smoothies to kickstart the change I'm going to make. When I get there, I head straight for the fruit section. I start going through the fruit and when I look up, the guy on the other side of the stand looks up at the same time and we lock eyes. He's gorgeous… he walks away and my eyes can't help but follow him. This is the change. This is it. I'm going to go over there and say something to him. I'm going to flirt and I'm going to do it well._

 _I walk over to where he's picking over oranges and he doesn't even notice I walked over. Looking for something to say, I pick up the pineapples in front of me and I sort of shout, "Hey."_

 _"Hi," I say again smiling awkwardly when he finally looks up._

 _He smiles, "Hi."_

 _"Uh, I was just wondering…" I look down nervously at the pineapples in my hands, "Uh, how do you tell when these things are ripe?"_

 _"Well…" he says staring into my eyes as he walks around the fruit stand towards me. He comes extremely close to my face and he bends down to smell the pineapples, "They smell sweet. That's how you know if it's ripe."_

 _"Thank you," I say trying not to blush as I take in his sweet smell._

 _He smiles that smile again, "No problem."_

 _I throw the pineapples down into my cart and I walk away smiling. I whisper to myself, "Make it change."_

 _When I get home that night, I realize I forgot to get yogurt because I was too concerned with flirting with some guy… and my flirting was terrible. I didn't realize how stupid I sounded. I tried to pick up a guy and all I could come up with is 'how can I tell these pineapples are ripe?' I'll have to go back to the grocery store tomorrow because I'm not leaving my house again tonight._

 _The next night, I run into him at the grocery store again, I laugh, "Do you come here every night?"_

 _"I couldn't get the idea of fresh pineapple out of my mind," he laughs awkwardly, "What about you? Do you―do you come here every night?"_

 _"No."_

 _"I lied," he says after a pause and laughs awkwardly, "I hate pineapples… Would you like to, uh, grab a drink?"_

 _"Sure," I smile._

 _We ditch our carts and make our way across the street to this bar/lounge thing and we get seated at a table over on the side of the lounge. He lets me order for him and when the waiter brings out our drinks, he sips his and smiles, "So… tell me about yourself."_

 _"Well, I―" I shake my head changing the subject, "Let's not."_

 _"Oh?" he nods, "Okay."_

 _"No. I mean―" I correct myself, "Look, I-I could tell you about my ex-boyfriend, my dating history, what's going on at work… I could tell you all of that, but―let's make a change."_

 _"You want to make a change?"_

 _"Yeah. I don't want to do any of the things that I usually do―no drama, no games, no history… just you and me in the present. Start clean," I shrug, "Is that weird?"_

 _"No. Not at all," he pauses with a chuckle, "Okay. No histories, no names, just here and now…"_

 _"What?" I say when he just stares at me and I check my teeth, "Is there―do I have some―"_

 _"I'm just wondering what it might be like to kiss those lips."_

 _"Oh," I chuckle softly, "Oh, no. We can't do that. I-I don't even know your name."_

 _"Hey, you set the rules," he shrugs._

 _I smile hard, "Yeah, but we're in public."_

 _"We're in the present," he says and we both start to slowly lean into the longest kiss I've ever had. He pulls back after a while and smiles to himself, "Best date ever, so far… Wanna do this again, tomorrow night?"_

 _Tomorrow night came around a little too fast for me. I'm still struggling with what I'm going to wear by the time it's time to leave the house. I meet him at the same lounge from last night and this time, we sit on the couch right outside of the dance floor. Our drinks come and we chat a little about our day before he starts his guessing game again._

 _"So, I'm guessing lawyer," he says this time._

 _I shake my head, "I'm not a lawyer."_

 _"Anthropologist?" he questions._

 _I laugh, "That would be fun, but no… and stop with the twenty questions. I thought we both agreed."_

 _"We're gonna have to tell each other who we are sooner or later," he smiles that smile._

 _I melt a little, "On our next date, I promise."_

 _"I don't know if I can wait two whole weeks," he says sipping his drink._

 _I'm taken aback a little, "Two―what―two weeks? We have to wait two weeks for our next date?"_

 _"I am taking a much-deserved vacation… 14 days in Fiji," he says and I gasp, "White sand, blue water…"_

 _"Oh, I'm jealous."_

 _"Well, you should be… but hey, I'll bring you back a gift," we both chuckle and then he shrugs, "Or you could come with me."_

 _"Oh, right," I say sarcastically._

 _He looks at me seriously, "We could spend our days telling each other our life stories. We could spend our nights having―having hot sex in this amazing hut out over the water."_

 _"I can't go with you to Fiji."_

 _"Why not? Why not? What do you have holding you here? You're tempted," he stares deeply into my eyes, "I know you're tempted."_

I should've gone to Fiji.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Henry**

"School's out!" Zola shouts as we run through the halls, "I think Momma is picking us up today!"

"When do we leave for Disneyland?" Sofia asks grinning.

I spin in a circle while I run then I sing, "Tomorrow, tomorrow!"

"I'll love ya, tomorrow!" the girls both sing.

I join in as we run through the doors of the school, "It's only a day away!"

"Hi, guys!" Momma waves to us from her truck and the three of us run up to her, "How was school today?"

"It was awesome!" Zola exclaims, "We didn't have to do any work since it was the last day before spring break."

"We're so excited about Disney!" Sofia squeals.

I nod, "Our friend, Jasper, said that he and his family are going to Disneyland too!"

"Oh, wow!" Momma exclaims as we climb into the truck.

I wave to baby Ellis in her carseat then I sit down in the back next to Bailey, "Hey, dude."

"Hey, dude," he smiles handing me his handheld, "help me beat this level."

"Sure, thing," I nod.

Momma smiles helping us in, "Maybe we'll run into them there and you guys will be able to hang out."

"That's the plan!" Zola smiles handing Momma a piece of paper with Jasper's mom's number on it before she closes the doors behind us.

She walks around the car then hops into the driver's seat, "Oh, you got his parent's number?"

"He gave it to me," she grins.

Sofia giggles, "I think she likes him!"

"Nuh uhn," Zola giggles as her cheeks turn a little red.

Momma smiles through the rearview mirror as she begins to pull out of the parking lot, "You like a boy at school, Zozo?"

"I don't know," she shrugs then she giggles, "he's really smart."

"Yeah, and he has long curly hair and he wears glasses," Sofia goes on and on about him. It makes my stomach hurt a little… I don't want Sofia to like Jasper.

Momma grins again then she asks, "So… does he know you like him?"

"I don't know," Zola shrugs.

Momma smiles, "We don't have to talk about it right now, Zo… Do you like anybody at school, Sof?"

"No, not at school," Sofia shakes her head.

That probably means that she doesn't like me… but I really like her. I know that she likes horses and that her favorite color is blue and that when she grows up she wants to be an astronaut. Her birthday is in May and I want to get her an Astronaut Barbie because she said that was her favorite barbie but she doesn't have one yet. I know everything there is to know about Sofia so I really don't know why she doesn't like me.

"What about you Henry?" Momma asks and I turn to look up at her, "Do you like anybody at school?"

"No," I say quietly then I turn back to the game.

The girls quietly chat and I help Bailey with his game until we make it to the house. When we get there, the girls hop out immediately but Bailey and I take our time. I'm trying to help him defeat this level. He wants to finish before we leave for Disney tomorrow so he can work on beating the rest of the game on the ride there.

We're spending the night at Momma's then we'll head out all together in the morning. Sofia's and my mom are working late but Momma got off early to pick us up. The twins and Everett are still at the hospital daycare so they're coming home with Mommy and Auntie Callie.

We play for a couple of hours outside until the streetlights come on then we head inside for dinner. We have baked chicken, green beans and macaroni and cheese. I'm a little surprised the food is so yummy. Zola makes it seem like Momma is a bad cook. Speaking of Momma, I'm surprised my mommy hasn't stopped by yet. She must be working on a tough case. Daddy would say Mommy stayed up all night with her patients because she was dedicated. Mommy would say Daddy would always be making house calls for the same reason… I say, his dedication is the reason he didn't come home that day. I watched him walk out the door one morning and the cops at my door that night… my mommy falling to the ground in tears and my daddy never walking through those doors again. I want so much to forget that.

Luckily, after dinner, it's time for bed. We all make our way upstairs to the bathroom to brush our teeth before I head off with Bailey to his room. Right before I close my eyes, Momma walks into the room talking on into her phone, "Hold on, here he is."

"Hello?" I speak into the phone as it's handed to me.

My mommy's voice speaks quietly from the other end, "Hi, sweetheart."

"Hi, Mommy," I smile through the phone, "Are you on the way to me?"

"No, I'm sorry. I'm still at the hospital," she pauses then says something far away from the phone, "I'm actually in a surgery right now."

"Go save lives," I whisper into the phone.

She sighs, "I will. I just wanted to hear your voice before you went to sleep."

"I'm okay, Mommy," I chuckle, "I'm going to bed. See you in the morning."

"I love you," she says softly into the phone.

I smile softly closing my eyes, "I love you too."

"Good night, Henry."

"Good night, Mommy," I smile handing the phone back to Momma and as she leaves the room I say, "Good night, Momma."

"Good night, Henry," she says softly as she closes the door behind her.

The next morning, we're all up in Zola's room helping her pack for the trip. Momma packed Bailey's things and Zola was supposed to pack up two days ago but she couldn't find her bathing suit so she unpacked everything looking for it. Now Momma is rushing her to finish before everyone gets here so we're helping her. Mommy, the twins, Everett, Auntie Callie, Auntie Zona, Auntie Melia and Uncle Owen are coming! And while we're in L.A. we're going to see Mason, Georgia, Caroline, Rachel, Auntie Lotte, Uncle Coop, Auntie Vi and Lucas! Mommy says they may even come to Disneyland with us! I can't wait to get there. I miss them all so much.

We ate breakfast before we packed so now that we're finished it's time to get dressed! Sofia and Zola have matching outfits that they picked out at the store last weekend and Bailey and I are going to match too! We have red shirts and baseball caps to go with our khaki shorts and sneakers. Our moms picked them out for us but it's okay because they're Power Ranger shirts.

We finish getting dressed before the girls and when we walk into Zola's room, Sofia and Zola are arguing over whether or not to wear tights with their dresses. Sofia loves dresses but not tights but I know Zola loves dresses and tights. She has all sorts of tights with different designs and colors. They go back and forth for a little until they finally decide not to wear them. They came to the conclusion that it's going to be hot in L.A. so tights aren't really needed.

The doorbell rings. That means it's time to go. We race down the stairs to the door but Momma beat us to it. When the door opens revealing the rest of my family I squeal, "Mommy!"

"Hi, love," she bends down to hug me as the twins run past waving, "I missed you."

"I missed you too!" I grin as I pull away, "But I had a lot of fun and we're all ready to go."

"We are too," Auntie Callie says walking up to us while holding my baby brother, "Hi, Henry."

"Hi, Auntie Callie," I smile hugging her then Auntie Zona as she walks up, "Hi, Auntie Zona."

"Now we're just waiting on―" Momma trails off as a trunk pulls into the driveway, "Well, there's Amelia and Owen."

"Time to go?" Zola asks as she walks up.

Momma nods, "Go grab your suitcase."

* * *

"Are we there yet?" Bailey asks as we walk through the terminal.

Mommy shakes her head, "Not quite."

"We still have to get on the plane, Bailey," Zola laughs, "Then we have to fly there. It's going to be three more hours, right Mommy?"

"Right," she nods.

* * *

"Are we there yet?" we hear Bailey asks from behind us and we all snicker.

Momma shakes her head, "Almost."

"Ugh," Bailey sighs.

I stare out the window in my seat until Sofia taps me on my shoulder, "Whatcha looking at?"

"Just the clouds," I shrug. I've been on a lot of planes and it was only fun the first time.

Sofia nods, "Who do you think lives down there?"

"People," I answer shortly.

Sofia giggles, "No, silly. That's not how you play the game."

"What do you mean?"

"You're supposed to make up a story," she shrugs, "My momma and I used to do it every time we fly."

"Oh okay," I nod looking back out the window, "See that patch of green surround by the little river?"

"Yeah," she smiles as she leans over me to look out the window.

There's a funny feeling in my tummy but it's a good one I think so I smile anyway, "Well, a unicorn named Stella lives down there…"

"Oh, a unicorn!" she smiles, "They're my favorite."

"I know," I smile, "Anyway, Stella lives near the river so she can hang out with her friend, Milly the Mermaid."

"You must know Mermaids are favorite too," she gushes.

I even know her favorite cereal is Whole Grain O's and her favorite thing thing to do in the morning is to pick out her outfit. I smile to myself, "I do. I also know that Milly and Stella have the time of their lives. Everyday's an adventure for them. They ride the river in the morning's then come midday, after lunch of course, they're flying above the trees. They eat dinner by the campfire and at night they sleep under the stars."

"That's amazing," she says wrapping her arm around mine then resting her head on my shoulder, "I wish we could live like that."

"Me too," I smile closing my eyes. I want this moment to last forever.

* * *

"Guys, wake up," I hear a voice call out. I slowly open my eyes and I notice Sofia is asleep on my shoulder. I smile to myself as everyone else starts waking up.

Bailey stretches up, "Are we there yet?"

"Yes, actually. We are," Momma smiles over to us.

Zola exclaims, "Yes!"

"Let's look out the windows!" Bailey suggests.

We all turn to look but all there is are planes and concrete… Sofia sighs, "I thought this was supposed to be magical."

"Okay, so we're not totally there yet," Momma explains.

Zola pouts, "But you said only three more hours."

"Just one more after this then I promise we will be there," Mommy answers this time.

Zola sighs, "Fine."

* * *

"Are we there yet?" Bailey asks not even looking up from his tablet.

Zola squeals, "Look out the window!"

"It really is magical," Sofia squeals right along with her.

I look up to see Disneyland written in big white letters on a huge rollercoaster. I tap Bailey on his shoulder to get him from looking at his game and for him to get a chance to see everything. He looks up in awe. There's this huge ferris wheel peeking out over the top of a hotel. I think that's our hotel. It's lit up in red lights reading _Paradise Pier Hotel_. We pull in and get parked. Bailey says we look like very important people since we have three cars. Mommy, the twins and Everett in one, Auntie Callie, Auntie Zona, Auntie Melia and Uncle Owen in another then the rest of us are riding with Momma. I'm so glad we're finally here. Bailey can stop asking are we there yet now.

* * *

"Here's our suite," Momma says opening up the door, "There should be like 5 bedrooms and the couch is a pull out."

"Wow," I say walking over to the huge glass wall. Looking out, I can see almost the whole park! We even have an awesome view of the pool!

Sofia twirls, "This is amazing!"

"When can we go to the park?" Bailey asks.

Mommy answers, "Let me make a couple of calls first then we can either head down to the pool or head out to the park."

"Pool!" we all scream at once.

We can go to the park later while it's not so hot and there will be fireworks but the man at the desk downstairs said we could see them from our room. I'm sure it'll be even cooler from the actual park. In the morning, we're all eating breakfast in the castle with the princesses and princes. The girls are super excited about that. They even packed ball gowns and tiaras. I brought my special suit and I think Bailey has one too.

Zola tugs on my shoulder, "Come on! Let's go get on our bathing suits!

* * *

After playing all morning at the pool, we ate, bathed and got dressed to go out to the park. We rode the huge ferris wheel but only Zola, Sofia and I could ride the rollercoaster because Bailey wasn't tall enough. There were a lot of other rides that we all rode together, even Parker and Paisley. Now, the parks are about to close and the parade is about to start. There's so many people lined up here on the street. I'm glad we were able to get here in enough time to have good seats on the very edge of the sidewalk.

Once the parade starts, Sofia scoots closer to me then whispers, "This is my favorite part."

I know… I wish I could tell her how I feel but I don't even know how I feel. I just smile instead, "Mine too."

"Mmhmm," she sighs leaning closer into me.

When the fireworks start unexpectedly she sort of jumps into my arms then pulls back blushing, "Sorry, it startled me."

"It's okay," I smile and she takes my hand in hers.

My tummy starts to tingle again when she turns to me and smiles, "You're my knight-in-shining armor."

I just blush. I don't what to say. She turns back around to watch the parade but I can only watch her… the way she brushes her hair out of her face, the way she smiles, the way she jumps every time a firework goes out but still loves them… then the fact that she never let go of my hand. She's my best friend. She helped me not be so sad about my dad. I want to say something. I'm going to say something.

As I'm about to open my mouth, Sofia turns around to me, "Henry?"

"Yeah?" I clear my throat.

She smiles then leans in slowly closing her eyes. I close my eyes too, then I feel a small brush against my lips. I think I just had my first kiss. I open my eyes slowly to see Sofia smiling at me. I blush.

"Henry, I like you… I like like you," she says.

I smile hard, "Really? Cause I like like you too… I just thought you didn't like anyone at school."

"At school," she emphasizes then smiles, "You're at home and at school."

"Oh," I laugh.

She looks up to me, "Do you wanna be my boyfriend?"

"Sure," I nod.

She smiles, "Great."

"What do we do now?" I ask.

She shrugs, "I don't know."

"Well, um, I like sitting here holding your hand," I explain, "My tummy feels a little weird but I like it."

"Then we can continue doing this," she smiles but jumps as soon as another firework goes off.

* * *

"... and he's really funny too," Zola says as I round the corner into the girls' room. They got the last bedroom and Bailey and I sleep on the pull out in the living room.

Mommy is in here braiding Zola's hair. She responds, "He sounds like a catch. Does he know that you like him?"

"Yeah, he likes me too," she smiles while braiding her doll's hair, "He gave me his mommy's cell phone number so we can meet up in the park."

"What does he like about you?"

"He says that I'm cool and funny but he really likes me because I'm the smartest girl in school," she beams.

Mommy smiles, "I know what that's like. I was the smartest girl in school too. All the little boys and girls wanted to be my friend."

"I have lots of friends," she corrects, "Sofia and I do."

"I can imagine," she finishes, "All done."

"Yay, now I'll be the most beautiful girl in the castle tomorrow," she beams twirling as she looks at herself in the mirror, "Well, Sofia and I will be."

"Mommy?" I ask finally butting in.

She looks up to me and smiles, "Hey, Henry. You all ready for bed?"

"Yeah," I nod as she gets up from the floor. I really came to see Sofia but I think she may be in the room with her moms.

Mommy reaches for my hand and I gladly take it. On our walk back towards the living room, I ask, "So, if you're a boyfriend. What do you have to do?"

"Well, boyfriends are super nice and supportive," she starts, "They are almost always gentlemen and they're patient with their girlfriends. A boyfriend has to be compassionate, understanding and definitely not selfish."

"Do you think I'm all those things?" I ask.

She smiles down to me, "And more… You'd make an amazing boyfriend one day."

"Good," I smile nodding to myself.

 _Good._


	15. Chapter Fifteen

_**TW: hints at child abuse**_

 **Meredith**

Spring break came and went too fast. I wish we could've stayed there longer because as soon as we got back, things started to get hectic. First, birthdays… Henry's, Sofia's and just a few days ago, Bailey turned 5. And as if that wasn't stressful enough, today, Addison is nowhere to be found. I expected to run into her when dropping Zola off at school but she wasn't there so I figured that I'd maybe run into her at work but she isn't here either. Not trying to seem so eager by calling, I decide to ask Callie if she's heard from her.

Checking the board, I see the latina isn't in surgery so she's probably somewhere up on Ortho. There's a wait at the elevator so I make my way up the stairs and scan the floor getting a glimpse of her walking into a patient's room so I wait by the nurses' station until she's finished.

She walks out with a smile, "Oh, hey, Meredith."

"Hi, Callie," I half-smile, "Uh, I was just wondering, uh…"

"Spit it out, Grey," she teases me, "What's up?"

"I was just wondering if you've heard from Addison today," I shrug trying not to seem too anxious.

She gives me that smirk she gave us that day she walked in on Addison and I talking out on the patio of her home in L.A.―Addison rested her hand on my thigh as we talked and it lingered… that is until she walked out on the deck―Callie then shrugs, "I haven't spoken to her today… but that's to be expected."

"Why?" I ask.

Callie looks at me dumbfounded and I stare back at her confused then she frowns, "It's um, the anniversary of Jake's death."

"Oh."

"Dr. Grey," a voice calls from over my shoulder, "We could use your assistance."

"What happened?" I walk up and they hand me a chart.

The lead resident on the case speaks up, "She had a seizure, and―"

"A seizure?"

He nods, "Her heart stopped."

"Katie Bryce," the words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them. She was my first ever patient. She was initially diagnosed with a seizure disorder but after more tests Derek found out that it wasn't that at all. He couldn't figure out the source of Katie's seizures so he asked the interns for help promising to let one of us scrub in. Cristina and I spent the entire day searching for the cause of her symptoms and we finally stumbled the source of the problem while bashing rhythmic gymnastics.

The resident looks at me skeptically, "Who is Katie Bryce?"

"She's the person who's going to save this girl if my hunch is correct," I smirk, "Let's get her up to CT and page Amelia Shepherd."

* * *

"Well, I'll be damned," the lead resident shakes his head.

The tech operating the scan indicates the dark spots on the monitor, "There it is."

"It's minor, but it's there. It's a cerebachnoid haemorrhage," Amelia states, "She's bleeding into her brain."

"She could've gone her entire life without it ever being a problem. One tap in the right spot―" I say shaking my head.

Amelia finishes, "And explode… We need to get her up to the OR asap."

"Thank you, Katie," I say to myself as I walk out of CT.

I check my watch and I see that it's the middle of the day and I've still gotten no word from Addison. I've called twice and sent a text. Maybe I should just go check on her after work? Well, then again, if she wanted to be around people, she wouldn't have missed her shift and she probably would've returned my calls… but I have a bad feeling about this. I know how much of a wreck I was after Derek's death… after Lexie's... my mom's… after George's… the bomb squad guy's… No one should be alone at a time like this.

Yeah, I'm going to go by.

The rest of my day was pretty slow. I only had two surgeries and a board meeting. The rest of my time was spent in my office doing paperwork. By the time I check the time again, it's time for me to get off work. Maggie's already picked up Zola and Bailey from school and Ellis from the hospital daycare so I'm heading straight to Addison's.

* * *

Pulling up to the redhead's house, it seems even bigger than the first time I came. I guess it's called the Sam Hill Mansion for a reason… I park right outside the garage, make my way out of the car and up the stairs to the front door. Pausing before ringing the doorbell I think to myself, _Is this really a good idea? Does Addison even want me here?_ We're about to find out.

I see the curtain move on my bottom left corner then the door opens slowly. There's Henry standing there with a shy smile on his face as he opens the screen door, "Mommy says I'm not supposed to answer the door for strangers but today, she had me open the door twice for delivery guys… plus you're not a stranger."

"Have you been home all day?" I ask as I step into the house closing the door and locking it behind me.

He nods, "Yeah, I didn't go to school today. The twins and I built a fort in the green room like we did in the playroom at your house."

"Oh, sounds like you guys had a lot of fun!"

"We did," he pauses looking behind me, "Where is Zola and Bailey?"

"They're at home. They have school tomorrow so they're both getting ready for that," I explain as I follow him through the house.

He nods leading me over to what they call the 'green room' but what I call family room number two, "Yeah, I hope I go to school tomorrow. I have a quiz in French."

"You're probably the only kid I know who enjoys quizzes…" I trail off once I get to the room where they've set up their fort and there's no Addison, "Where's your mommy, kiddo?"

"She's on the roof," he points up to the ceiling.

A voice screams out from under the blankets, "Henry! You're missing your favorite part!"

"We're watching The Lion King," he shrugs.

I smile waving him off, "Go ahead. I'm going to go find your mom."

"Okay, we will save you some popcorn!" he shouts as he dives into the fort.

I notice Addison's baby monitor in the corner of the room and I feel more comfortable leaving them here alone. On that note, I head out the room navigating my way through the house. It takes me another ten minutes to find my way onto the roof however I easily spot Addison over near the fire pit although her hair blends in with the flames.

Slowly, I make my way over to her and I hear the faint sounds of a Beatles' song playing in the background. She's wearing an oversized John Hopkins' hoodie which I'm assuming was Jake's since she went to Columbia and there's a plate of untouched fries sitting in front of her. When I sit down beside her she doesn't acknowledge me nor does she even flinch… _Maybe I was wrong?_ I shouldn't have come here. She obviously needs her space.

We sit in silence for awhile and honestly, I'm not even sure she knows I'm here. It's not until minutes later that I'm handed a glass of wine, I turn to Addison and she looks through me with glassy, red eyes as she drinks from the bottle.

She shrugs turning back towards the fire, "I only brought up one cup. If I knew you were coming, I would've brought two."

"I didn't mean to intrude," I shrugged sheepishly as I sipped my wine, "We missed you at work today."

"No," she shook her head, "you may have but no one else did. You're only here to make sure I haven't chucked myself off the roof."

"Well, that too," I admitted.

She scoffed and then shrugged, "I would've… if it weren't for the little ones downstairs."

"Addi―"

"I've spent so much of my life judging people. You know that? I've been _so_ judgemental. It was actually one of the few traits I did get from Bizzy. I mean, when I was younger, I would've thought it was weak. Suicide―it's so weak. I mean, what was this person thinking? How could they do that to their family―to their spouse, to their children? But…" she trails off regaining her voice, "people who do that, they're not… thinking. They aren't thinking, lying there broken. They're… broken from grief… They were out to sea and they drowned. It doesn't make them selfish. It doesn't even mean that they didn't love their family…"

"Addison," is all I'm able to get out before she waves me off.

She takes a couple of more gulps from her wine bottle, "I'm not going to kill myself, don't worry. I won't be following in my mother's footsteps… not in the slightest… I just… I miss him."

"You'd think it would get easier…" I trail off taking back my glass and taking the bottle from Addison. I pour myself another before speaking up again, "I mean, I did this already… I've gotten through the anniversary of Derek's death twice already and it still hurts the exact same way it did when the cops showed up at my door… It sucks because I want to be able to tell you that it gets easier… that eventually it hurts less but I haven't gotten there myself."

When I look over at her again, she's in tears and I gasped, "Addison, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," she wipes away her tears forcing a smile, "I'm just overwhelmed."

"You need this medicine that I call Tequila," I suggest, "It works wonders. Solves all of my problems."

"Did you forget what happened when I first tried Tequila with you?"

"IㅡI," I shake my head laughing, "You're never going to let me live that one down are you? I apologized for that."

"You didn't need to. We're both adults…" she trails off eyeing the almost empty bottle of wine. I wonder how long she's been working on it. She looks at me then sighs, "I could use something stronger though."

"What do you have? I could go get it and an extra glass."

"Ah, so I will no longer be a savage drinking from the bottle," she tries to smile but it doesn't reach her eyes, "There's a bottle of Gin in the freezer in the kitchen."

* * *

"I'm sorry," I pause thinking about how to phrase this. I'm on my fourth glass and I'm not sure how many Addison is on but still, I want this to come out right.

She frowns, "I told you it's fine."

"No, I'm sorry for assuming you were suicidal. You're not me," I shrug.

She sits down her glass, "What do you mean?"

"I tried to kill myself once," I thought, "You were there."

"The drowning?"

"How'd you know?"

"Derek was suspicious of it," she shrug, "He told me in confidence. We never talked about it after that."

"Oh," she shrugged, "My mom had just died… I was in a bad place and I probably would've tried again when Derek died if I weren't pregnant with Ellis…"

"That's…" the redhead trailed off, "dark."

"Yeah," I sip from my glass.

She picks up her glass and takes a long sip from it as well then quietly, barely above a whisper, she speaks up, "I tried to kill myself once… twice actually. I was eight, the first time I tried. I was riding my bike and I figured if I just swirled a little into the street people would think it was an accident… I just ended up scraping up my face and my tire flew off. Archer cursed the guy out and then carried me home… He covered for me; told my parents I was riding downhill and my tire came off. He never asked why I did it and I never told him."

"Why'd you do it?" I asked and then immediately regret it, "I just meant… you were so young."

"I… um, I was taught to keep my mouth shut… growing up. Bizzy would literally tell me that it wasn't a young girl's place to speak while adults were speaking… well to even speak at all. I kept secrets for my father when he was sleeping around on my mother. I shouldn't be surprised that I've kept this a secret for so long."

"You don't have to tell me… I don't mean to overstep," I say, I don't know if for my benefit or for hers. I don't think I want to hear what comes next.

She shakes her head, "It's okay. IㅡI think I want to tell you."

"Okay," I take another swig from my cup.

She downs her glass and pours another taking a sip from it, "Liquid courage."

"Did someone hurt you?"

"Someone did," she takes a long sip, "One of my father's friends."

"Does he know?"

"The Captain?" she asks and I shake my head, "No, I've never told anybody… only you…"

"It sucks… I'm sorry. You were so young… a little girl and no one protected you."

"It's okay… well, it's not okay," she says shrugging, "There's times when I freak out about my own kids being abused and not telling me about it… it's hard and it's scary but I have to trust that I raised them to always be open with me and to never keep a secret from me even if an adult tells them to."

"What about the second time?" I ask breaking up the silence that followed her last revelation while ridding my eyes of fresh tears.

She looks at me with the saddest eyes. I can tell she's forcing back tears of her own. She just shrugs, "I was older; a teenager. I'm sure you can understand what it's like to grow up with my mother. You had a Bizzy of your own… It's just that I kept telling myself that things would get better but they never did, at least not then… You know, I never experienced unconditional love until I had kids of my own."

"I get that…" I trailed eyeing what's left in my glass. I probably don't need anymore of these.

It's like Addison read my mind because she turns to me and sighs, "Do you want to order a pizza or something and sober up?"

"Yeah, we could do that," I say following her as she gets up from the couch.

She turns around to me, "Thank you… for coming by. I know it was, uh, pretty depressing but um, it felt nice to actually talk for once."

* * *

By the time I leave Addison's, it's nearly midnight. I'm sure everyone in my house is asleep so I carefully make my way inside and upstairs to my room. I undress and hurry into the bathroom where I brush my teeth. I'll shower in the morning.

Eyeing my bed, I flop into it and get myself tucked into my blanket. The moment I'm about to fall dose off my phone rings. Checking the caller ID, it's a name that I haven't seen in awhile. When I think about it, it's been nearly seven years… I pick up the phone curious, "Hello?"

"Meredith? Hey, I, uh, I'm in Seattle. Do you think we could meet up in the morning for brunch?"

"Uh, yeah, sure."

"Great. Is eleven good? Is that cafe across the street from the hospital still open?"

"Actually, it is."

"Okay, let's meet there."

"I'll see you then."

"Oh, and Meredith? It's nice to hear your voice."

* * *

 **Guess who's back, back again? Shady's back, tell a friend. Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back...? And yeah, I know I haven't updated in forever and I'm sorry for that. My life has been as crazy as season eleven Grey's but I'm back and so is someone from Meredith's past. Take a wild guess down below and sorry for the Addie sadness... from the way I imagine her childhood and from seeing all her quirks I feel like something that traumatic could've happened to her. Let me know your thoughts.  
**


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